During a visit with some friends, Helen and Jake become concerned about Daria and Quinn's chances of getting into good colleges, so they insist that the girls take a college prep class. One of the requirements of this (rather lame) class is to visit a college, and Jake and Helen naturally pick their alma mater, Middleton College. When they arrive, they're greeted by a tour guide named Heather, and they just barely have time to start the tour when Jake is distracted by a water balloon thrown from his old dorm window. Swept up in a wave of nostalgia, Jake takes Helen to visit his old hangout, leaving Daria and Quinn with the tour guide. The tour doesn't last much longer, as Quinn decides to investigate the fraternity/sorority scene on her own. Daria and Heather then retreat to Heather's dorm room, where Daria gets a much more realistic view of college life: sitting around and watching television, working a stupid job, begging the parents for money, and helping the college students with their term papers (for cash, of course). Meanwhile, Jake gets a little too into the college scene as he tries (with no success) to act cool and "hang" with the college guys, while Helen reminisces about college life... and tears off after the girls (Quinn, specifically) when she remembers how college guys acted around women. They find Quinn at a frat house, where she had been made "keg queen" and was busy wrapping the guys around her little finger; eventually, the whole family is tossed off the campus when security finds out that the two underage girls were wandering around the campus unsupervised (even though Daria had stayed with Heather the tour guide the whole time). Back at home, Quinn receives a letter of acceptance to Manatee College in Florida, which makes Helen and Jake ecstatic... until they read the fine print, and discover that Manatee has no classes and costs $10,000 per semester. Furthermore, Daria decides to quit doing the college students' term papers, as it was getting to be too much work (not to mention the tiny little detail about Helen not letting her keep the money). Daria decides that the whole college experience kinda sucked, but is heartened when Quinn dumps the instructor of the college prep class when she finds out what a "making-out scholarship" is really all about.