Daria

Daria: Where did you learn to babysit? Jane: I used to help with my sister Summer's kids...till they got old enough to run away.

(Jane's version of Little Boy Blue) Jane: ...And the dish ran away with the spoon. But Hawaii was the only state that would recognize the marriage as legal.

(Daria answers the door with her hair in braids) Jane: All hail, Pippi Longstocking. (calls over her shoulder) Hey, Trent, come look at this!

Daria: Hi, Mrs. Kewpie. Mrs. Gupty: What? Daria: (corrects herself) Mrs. Gupty.

Daria: Okay, you can drop the angel act. Tricia: What do you mean? Tad: Is it time to floss yet?

Helen: You know, I used to wear miniskirts. (laments) But life goes on...

Daria: (on Quinn) She's well liked among classmates of both sexes. And yet, strangely, she turns my stomach.

Daria: Forget it. I don't like kids. I didn't even like kids when I was a kid. Quinn: Six bucks an hour! Daria: Ooh. I could make a down-payment on that isolated mountain cabin. (pause) But, if I baby-sat for you, then technically I'd be doing you a favor. And that simply cannot be.

Jane: (answering phone) Yo. Daria: Hey Grandma, it's time for your damn pill. Jane: Huh? Daria: You were supposed to be here an hour ago. I'm desperate! Tricia: (offscreen) Tad dropped a spore! Tad: (offscreen) Did not! It was a raisin! Daria: (whines) Bring junk food!

Daria: Do you always believe everything grownups say? Tricia: Yup! Daria: Well, then, what if two grownups say exactly opposite things? (Tad starts to cry and runs away) Tricia: You're mean!

Jake: Hey, Daria, where ya goin? It's Couples Therapy Night. Daria: Baby-sitting job, Dad. Jake: (mutters) Wish I had a baby-sitting job.

Mr. Gupty: Were you planning on having a boyfriend in the house? Because, ha, we don't allow that. Daria: No problem. I'm flying solo these days. Mrs. Gupty: Then I guess it's not an issue. Daria: Unless I pick up somebody on the way over.

Jane: (on Brittany) She'll never have to worry about mind-control. Daria: No, but she'll have to watch out for ferrets building a nest in her head.

Tad: Can I exfoliate your skin? Daria: Quinn lets you do that? Tad: Quinn doesn't need it.

Tad: But too much TV is bad for you. Tricia: It can turn you into a zombie, Daria. Daria: Well, that'll make three of us.

Mr. Gupty: Ha ha! Well, you'll need a sense of humour to tangle with our little devils! Mrs. Gupty: Lester! Mr. Gupty: No, seriously, they're great kids. See you Saturday Daria! Daria: Bye. (Hangs up) Ten dollar surcharge if I have to spend more than fifteen minutes with the parents. Quinn: That's fair.

Tad and Trisha: I am cool and that is it and everyone else is full of--full of-- Mr. and Mrs. Gupty: Tad! Trisha!

Tricia: This is fun! You're my favorite baby-sitter, Daria. Tad: Me, too! Daria: Just don't tell your parents we let you stay up late. Tad: Do we look stupid or something? Daria: So much progress in one night.

Daria: Raisins? Tad: Raisins are nature's candy. Daria: Then why do they have to cover them with chocolate to sell them at the movies? Tricia: Sugar is bad. Tad: Sugar rots your teeth. Tricia: Sugar makes you hyper. Tad: Hitler ate sugar.

Tricia: We're supposed to be discussing current events. Daria: I have a headache. Is that current enough for you?

Helen: I can't have another fiasco like last Saturday night. Think of how it must have felt when those three boys all showed up here at the same time! Quinn: It felt great! Helen: I meant for them.

(Helen enters carrying folded laundry; she sets the basket down on the bed and holds up a baby-tee that looks too small for a Barbie doll) Helen: Oh, no, the laundry shrank your shirt. Quinn: No, they didn't.

Quinn: You're the only person I can trust to do this, Ronny. I can tell by your eyes... Ronny: Really? Quinn: Yeah! They're so... sincere! Ronny: Well... Quinn: And your face, it's very... honest! You're so nice, and dependable, and... Ronny: Nice? Sincere? (sighs) You're never gonna go out with me, are you? Quinn: No.