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Quinn: Muh-om! I'm not J. Edgar Winter!
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Jane: You're willing to have [your story] published and read by strangers, but you don't want your best friend to see it?
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Jodie: You know, my mother gets Musings and their fiction is awful. I bet you'll have no trouble getting in.
Daria: Gee, thanks.
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Jake: If it weren't for Ellenbogen I might be a Broadway lyricist. I could write songs for Cats. I could write songs for dogs!
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Jake: I'd like to thank my family, my friends, and not that damn Corporal Ellenbogen, or Gilbert, or Sullivan!
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Stacy: What do you think this stuff is that looks like vomit?
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Jane: He meant well. For a teacher who does nothing well.
Daria: I'm reminded of my father.
Jane: What? Why?
Daria: Because I can't get the phrase "damn idiot teachers with their damn idiot brains" out of my head.
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Quinn: I know! How about a new mirror to replace that awful one in the girls bathroom that adds at least two pounds.
Stacy: I hate that mirror.
Tiffany: It haunts me.
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Daria: I couldn't show it to [Tom]. It's too intimate.
Jane: Daria, it's about a flesh eating virus. How is that intimate?
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Jane: Was I being enthusiastic again? I'm sorry.
Daria: You didn't mean anything by it.
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Daria: Ever have one of those moments that no shower, no matter the duration nor the temperature, can ever erase?
Jane: I'm leaning towards trauma-induced amnesia myself. Punch my head, would ya?
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Daria: Well, we both know why I asked you here.
Tom: Not me, no idea. None whatsoever.
Daria: Fine. I deserve that. Look, um, sorry, you were being supportive, I was the one acting like, you know...
Tom: You can do it. Rhymes with "clerk"?
Daria: Shut up.
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Quinn: Why don't we do what we do best?
Sandi: Quinn, no one is going to pay us to eat carrot sticks.