Daria

Daria: That's funny, I don't remember feeling worried about anyone.

Helen: Girls, have you seen your father's Spirit Animal? He was just telling it about his childhood when it jumped up and scampered off. Daria: "Scampered"?

Daria: Knowing Dad and his excellent woodland skills, I'd say it was the berries. Quinn: But it couldn't have been the berries. Daria: That's what I think, because you ate the berries, too, and you seem okay. Quinn: No, I meant because those weren't the glitter-berries. Daria: "Glitter-berries"? Quinn: You know, the glitter-berries. The ones that fill your mouth with beautiful sparkling glitter when you bite into them. Those are the ones that make you act weird! That is until you sprout your wings and fly away. (Quinn starts to skip around) Daria: Uh-oh...

SSW Reporter: Now, you claim that not only did you see a Yeti, but he was wearing a business suit and carrying an attache case? Hiker: A leather attache case.

Jane: Let's think strategy. I don't wanna arrive without a plan. Trent: Hey, I already thought of that. As soon as we get there, we find a bar, and we don't leave it until we're unconscious. Jane: Good plan. But first of all, they probably wouldn't serve me. And second, I don't want to pass out. And third, right before you pass out, you'll decide it's time to be honest with everyone. Trent: Oh yeah. Bad idea.

Daria: Okay. Remain calm. Family's gone mad. Must get them back to civilization, but no way to contact civilization because Mother made big deal about cutting off all communications. What to do? (cellphone in Helen's backpack rings) Daria: Rely on Mother's hypocrisy to see us through this crisis.

Quinn: This is really scary, Daria. Daria: All right, let's not get panicked. We're going to look at the situation calmly and objectively. Agreed? Quinn: Okay. Daria: We're out in the middle of nowhere, nobody knows we're here, we have no way to contact anyone, and our parents have gone insane. Quinn: Yes. Daria: (pause) This is really scary, Quinn.

Quinn: What's Dad so worked up about, anyway? Helen: Oh, Quinn. It's not easy being an adult. Quinn: He can drive, he never has to take a pop quiz, and he can order a mimosa anytime he wants. What's the problem?

Grandma: Janey? Jane: Yes, Grandma? Grandma: Come closer. Jane: Yes, Grandma? Grandma: Closer. Jane: Yes, Grandma? Grandma: Closer. Jane: Yes, Grandma? Grandma: (shouts) What the hell is wrong with you?!

Uncle Max: (slurred) I always liked you, Trent. You were my favorite. Trent: And why is that, Uncle Max? Uncle Max: Cuz you're a bum! You're a lousy bum! You're a rotten bum! You remind me of myself! You know why? Trent: Cuz I'm a bum. Uncle Max: That's right, ya bum!

Jake: Girls, doesn't all this beauty take you right out of yourselves? (pause) Helen: Daria? Daria: I think I'm getting a chill. If you don't mind, I'm gonna crawl back into myself for a while. Helen: What about you Quinn? Quinn: No phone???

(flashback) Jake: We don't need big business electricity! We don't need manufactured foods! We don't need chemically-softened toilet paper! Helen: (eyes fly open) We don't? (flashback ends) (Helen rummages around in her backpack, and with a smirk, takes out a roll of toilet paper)

Jane: Trent. Trent. (she pulls headphones away from his ear) Trent! Trent: (wakes up) Officer it's not even my car.

Jake: Is this great, or what? For the next 72 hours, we're going to live off what nature send our way! (points) See that stream? That's our drinking water! (points) See those berries! That's our breakfast! Daria: See that skeleton? That's our future. (everyone looks; there's nothing there) Daria: Made you look.

Jane: Lemme get this straight. You, Jake, Helen, and Princess Grace are going camping? Like in the woods camping? Daria: I hope the raging envy you're feeling won't affect our friendship. Jane: I do envy you. Daria: Then I'm afraid the fever has reached your brain, and you'll have to be destroyed. Jane: You know where I'll be this weekend? The Lane Family Reunion. Dozens of Lanes from all over the country converging in one Midwestern split-level to remind themselves why they scattered in the first place. Daria: I wouldn't think your parents would be caught dead at something like that. Jane: They wouldn't. We're the black sheep of the clan. We're only invited because hating us brings them closer together. Daria: You know, a weekend is the woods is starting to look good. Jane: A weekend on the world's tallest pile of seagull droppings is starting to look good.

Quinn: Don't worry about us, Mom. We'll be fine. Right, Daria? Daria: Absolutely. No guests, no late nights... Helen: Don't even bother, girls. You're coming with us. Quinn: (pounds fist on table) Damn it, Daria! You could've sounded like you meant it! (leaves) (after a moment, Daria softly pounds fist on table) Daria: Damn it! It's my turn to say "damn it"!

Jake: It's my eye! Oh, God, it's my eye! (moves hand away to show one eye red from a burst blood vessel) Daria: Oh, no! (sotto voce to Quinn) Get the camera. Quinn: Ugh!