Dave the Barbarian

Dave: Oh my donkey chum. Sweet as a chrysanthemum!

Lula: Lovely, I'm strapped to someone with the IQ of a garden snail!

Candy: Since when did you play the lute? Fang: It's a long story. See, there was this bug. Bug: Spare my life and I'll teach you how to play the lute. Fang: Then he taught me the lute. Huh, guess it wasn't that long.

Dave: Here's a little song I like to call "Pancake Party" (singing) If I had a pancake.... I'd eat it with butter! I'd eat it with syrup! I'd eat it with a fork! Oh Pan-- Fangs jabs guitar up Dave's mouth) Fang: LET ME SHOW YOU HOW IT'S DONE! (singing) PANCAKES PANCKAES EAT IT WITH A FORK! PANCAKE'S PANCAKES DON'T BE A DORK! PANCAKES PANCKES PANCAKES PANCAKES SQUAT!!!!!!!!!!!

(The "Steve the Egg" song) Uncle Oswidge: I think I can explain all that in song: I knew an egg by the name of Steve Layed by a moo-cow, I believe Wore pants, suspenders and a tie And only washed his face on the fifth of July Steve took a nap in a frying pan and woke up next to sausages! (chorus) Steve the Egg! Steve the Egg! How'd he wear pants without no legs? Steve the Egg! Steve the Egg! He woke up next to sausages! Yeah! Dave: Now I get it! (repeats chorus)

Fang: Donkey Chum! Donkey Chum! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Donkey Chum! Love my donkey, or you are dumb, Donkey chum! Donkey Chum! Donkey Chum! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH! (smashes guitar) We are the Barbarian 6 plus donkey!

Candy: I'm sorry I'm not in right now. Please leave a message. Beep!

Dave: Next I'll send Joke of the Day to everyone I know! Lula: Nobody likes that David! Dave: Don't be silly. Of course they do!

Candy: I have an idea! Fang: Does it involve shopping? Candy: Yes. Fang: Next! Uncle Oswidge: I have an idea. Fang: Does it involve eating? Uncle Oswidge: Yes. Fang: Next! Faffy: (makes dragon noises) Fang: Does it involve licking your own nostrils? Faffy: (burps loudly) Fang: NEXT!!

Dave: Is it right for us to just come barging in? Candy: Dave, we're barbarians and bill collectors! We can do whatever we want! Dave: Whatever we want? Yea! (runs off screen and comes back dressed as a cowboy) I wanna be a cowboy! YE-HA! Lula: Great...I'm attached to someone with the IQ of a garden snail.

Dave: All they did was pass around a piece of paper. Where did the money come from; where did it go? And Chuckles...WHEN WILL HE FIND THE PERFECT CURTAINS??!!

(after his plans were foiled) Chuckles: Curse you, Dave the Barbarian! You will not escape my wrath! (gets grabbed by Dave) Dave: Hey everybody! There's money inside this pig! (throws Chuckles into the ground) Chuckles: OW! OOCH! Hey, that tickles!

Dave: (singing) Please don't hurt us, please don't break our bones. Please don't stab us with your forks,or pummel us with stones. Please be kind and friendly. We don't want to be slain. Because we are allergic to any kind of pain! Zombie Swedish Woman: (crying) That was the most beautiful I ever heard...anyhoo. Zombie crowd: Destroy them...destroy them.

Gagnor: Please answer the door before I'm forced to get ugly. Candy: He can get uglier?

Oswidge: Nice stuff, but how are you going to pay? Candy: Pay? What means this pay? Oswidge: You haven't been paying?!!! But if you don't, they send a...BILL COLLECTOR!!!

Fang: You guys want to start a band and get really famous? Dave: Yeah! We can call ourselves the Barbarian 6! (gets whacked into wall by donkey) Plus donkey...

Uncle Oswidge: I think I'll call that "Rock & Roll." 'Cause it was like being hit with a rock, and I'm hungry for a roll.