Dave the Barbarian

Chuckles: Oh! My little piggy eyes. I'm blind, blind! And my cape is simply ruined. Look at that, that's real silk you know.

Candy: Uncle Oswidge?..is it just me or do you have more than usual amount of filth on your face?

Oswidge: What's that horrible noise? Dave: Spring Quartet. Fang: Darn, thought you were shaving a wombat.

Chuckles: I'm a dark lord of evil bent on bringing pain and suffering to an unsuspecting world..and if you can't trust me who can you trust?

(Song at the Clotted Scuppers) Oh, a life on the sea, It is the life for me! All the shocks and all the scurvy Make you want to holler (HEY!) There's nothing like a boat, When you're laughing like a goat. Everything is better when it's coming up your throat! Oh, a life on the sea, It is the life for me! Yippee-yippee-yippee-yippee-yippee-yo-yay! Yippee-yippee-yippee-yippee-yippee-yo-yay!

Chuckles: Well, the Castle of Extreme Uncleanliness is a bit...unclean. Okay, I'll let you go, but first you have to perform a series of heroic tasks. Your first task is to...(dramatically) Mop! Dave: I'm sorry, did you say "mop"? Chuckles: Yes, mop! Mop until the floor runs with dirty rives of suds! Mop as if your very lives depend on it! (chuckles laughs evilly as lightning flashes)

Dave: (looking at you) Bejabbers! The inside of this television is flithy! (wipes the screen to black)

Dave: (to Chuckles) Pestilant Pig! Release them or prepare to suffer great personal discomfort!

Lula: If I had ears they would be bleeding now.

Rat: Hiya dolls, once you try a rat, you'll never go back!

Malsquando: And now, the sword of power is mine! Mwa-ha ha! Lula: YOURS!? What, you can't buy me dinner first?

Chuckles: (after ogre falls on him) Oh...I think you ruptured my little piggy splien.

Lula: (after the parents asked if they've been brushing) Fang hasn't! Her breath smells like the bad end of a donkey! Fang: Nuh-uh! Like the GOOD end!

Dave: There's only one weapon mighty enough for this...A SPONGE!!!

Dave: Vile orges! Prepare to taste the prickly bristles of justice!

(1st Ogre opens mouth) Victim in mouth: It is most unpleasant in here! (closes mouth)

Dave: TIME TO CLEAN THE CAAAAAAAAASTLE!