Audrey Meadows |
Herself |
Guest Star |
Dick Martin |
Himself |
Guest Star |
Leonard Barr |
Himself |
Guest Star |
Nipsey Russell |
Himself (1974-1977) |
Recurring Role |
Foster Brooks |
Himself (1974-1979) |
Recurring Role |
Jack Carter |
Himself (1974-1978) |
Recurring Role |
Dean Martin: George first met Martha at the Boston Tea party, she was one of the bags they threw overboard. Not only was he the first President, he was the first President to be fitted with wooden teeth. He never brushed his teeth, he polished them with Pledge.
Euell Gibbons: Thank you Dean, I feel right at home here with all these comedians, they remind me of wild hickory nuts. Dean, did you ever drink a pine tree?
Henny Youngman: There I was at the psychiatrist and said, "Nobody talks to me" and he said "Next". I went to the doctors and I said, "Doctor I have a ring in my ear, what'll I do", he says, "Don't answer it". Doctor gave a man six months to live and couldn't pay the bill so the doctor gave him another six months.
Jack Carter: It's a very patriotic night and Dean you're a great American and a great patriot. The man has even got patriotic eyeballs, just look at him, blue with red whites. He's a great American and you really should be up there on Mount Rushmore, you should be up on that mountainside with Washington, Jefferson and Lincoln. You don't even have to chisel him, he's stoned right now.
The musical performance is omitted from Dean Martin Celebrity Roast.
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Wednesday
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Thursday
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Friday
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