Dean Martin Celebrity Roast

Season 7 Episode 1

Joan Collins

Aired Unknown Feb 24, 1984 on NBC



  • Trivia

    • Anne Baxter was the lead in another television series by Aaron Spelling, Hotel at the time of the roast for Joan.

  • Quotes

    • Gavin MacLeod: As I look around, I think almost everyone on this dais has been a passenger on "The Love Boat", of course Joan has sailed with us many times. Well you wouldn't believe how popular she is all over the world, in Trinidad she was treated like a star, in Acapulco she was treated like royalty and in the Virgin Islands, she was treated like a total stranger. And Dom DeLuise was scheduled for a cruise just last month unfortunately he had to cancel because of a tragic development in his love life, his inflatible woman ran off with his spare tire. And the wonderful Red Buttons has NEVER sailed with us but his wife told me that Red's alot like a cruise ship, he's old, he's slow and he only drops anchor once a year. But when Joan sailed with us it was an experience the crew and I will never forget. The first afternoon at sea, we found out just how sexy Joan Collins is, she accidentally fell overboard and the sharks swam up to her with a bottle of champagne and a Sinatra record. And after we arrived back at port she was really something, she got in line and went thru customs where they gave her a strip search, she got back in line six more times.

    • Phyllis Diller: She's had fifteen husbands, four of her own.

    • Red Buttons: Paul Revere who wore nothing but a raincoat and said, "I will flash one if by land, two if by sea." Never got a dinner. Clint Eastwood's sex therapist who said to Clint, "Do it Any which way you Can but no Sudden Impact". Alexander Graham Bell's wife who said to Alexander on their wedding night, "Sorry your three minutes are up". Dr. Spock who said "Never raise your hands to your kids, it leaves your groin unprotected". Never got a dinner.

  • Notes

    • Rich Little imitates Joan Collins' ex-husband Anthony Newley with the song "What Kind of Fool Am I".

  • Allusions