Monty Hall |
Himself |
Guest Star |
Bert Parks |
Himself |
Guest Star |
Donald O'Connor |
Himself |
Guest Star |
Gene Kelly |
Himself (1973-1979) |
Recurring Role |
Jack Carter |
Himself (1973-1978) |
Recurring Role |
Dean Martin: Well tonight we're honoring Monty Hall. I'm not asking you to laugh or applaud during this roast, just stay awake. I gave up alot to be here tonight, I could have been home watching "Jacques Cousteau Paper Trains a Whale". Alot of you maybe asking why we're honoring Monty Hall, remember I asked first. I don't know too much about Monty but I do know he was born in Manitoba Canada and he's about as exciting as his hometown. Manitoba is so square, you can't buy a brasiere without a prescription. But Monty was destined to host quiz shows, even back in Manitoba, he'd go up to strange girls and say Let's make a deal.
Art Linkletter: Computing the Nielsen rating results "Let's Make A Deal" appeals to almost every kind of person you can think of. For instance, insomniacs like it, puts them to sleep even in the afternoon, people with cardiac conditions love it because their doctors advise them no excitement under any condition, the Roto Roter man oh they like it, they like seeing someone else go down the drain and the gay liberation group, they like it because it proves there's no fun in being straight. Monty's wife likes it because everyday for 30 minutes she knows where he is as a matter of fact there's only one group, one dissenting group the manufacturers of Bandini Fertilizer because they feel it's strictly unfair competition.
Jack Carter: (pointing to Dean) People talk about the energy crisis, here's the man who's causing it all, he's always gassed, he's usually oiled and lit up all the time.
The musical production are not included in the Celebrity Roasts release also edited out are Ted Knight, Doug Dillard and Allan Drake's performances.
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