Darren McGavin was appearing in his show Kolchak: The Night Stalker, Richard Roundtree was appearing in his show Shaft, Peter Graves was appearing in his show Mission: Impossible, Angie Dickinson was appearing in her show Police Woman and George Kennedy was appearing in his show The Blue Knight.
Phyllis Diller: I'm here for one reason, I want to be your secretary. You see every detective on television has a girl Friday and I want to do things for you Telly, just you. I don't want to work for Columbo, he'd smoke all my cigars. I couldn't work for Cannon, because he's so fat, he'd want to wear my panty girdle and who wants to work for McCloud, at the end of the day he comes back to his office and kisses the horse. I'd be perfect in police work, I have everything Angie Dickinson has, only with me it takes longer to find it.
Howard Cosell: (to Dean) I understand the Drinkers Hall of Fame has just retired your liver. Before I do pay my disrespects to Telly Savalas, I should like to pay my respects to the appearance on the dais of my Monday Night Football compatriot Alex Karras, number 71 Dino, you didn't mention that who has become a lengendary figure of course in the history of professional football. It's now documented that a fat man out of shape can be one of the all-time greats.
Robert Stack: I know some people knock detective shows but I think Kojak has had a very good effect, you know crime has dropped off so much in one city that the mafia laid off seven judges.
A montage of clips of Telly as his Kojak lollipop sucking character is run with background music by Shirley Temple singing "On the Goodship Lollipop".