Phyllis Diller: How would you describe William Conrad? A fat Robert Goulet with mumps. The only thing thin about him is his hair. When he runs it looks like a mattress moving. When he clears that wonderful voice of his, it sounds like a motorboat that won't start. One time the coast guard found him in the Pacific Ocean, just his head and shoulders were sticking out of the water, they said, "Can we help you?", he said, "No I'm on my boat". Now this man turned down "Gunsmoke" on television and now he has the guts to say that this turkey "Cannon" is going to run 5 years.