Designing Women

Season 4 Episode 7

Bernice's Sanity Hearing

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Aired Monday 9:30 PM Nov 13, 1989 on CBS
9.4
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Episode Summary

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Bernice's Sanity Hearing
AIRED:
The Sugarbaker women testify for Bernice when her niece Phyllis attempts to have her declared legally incompetent because she sings Bobbie Gentry songs to strangers on the street and introduces Anthony as her illegitimate son.

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Meshach Taylor

Meshach Taylor

Anthony Bouvier

Annie Potts

Annie Potts

Mary Jo Shively

Delta Burke

Delta Burke

Suzanne Sugarbaker (Seasons 1-5)

Dixie Carter

Dixie Carter

Julia Sugarbaker

Jean Smart

Jean Smart

Charlene Frazier Stillfield (Seasons 4-5)

Leslie Ackerman

Leslie Ackerman

Phyllis McGuire

Guest Star

Bill Morley

Bill Morley

Judge Kaplan

Guest Star

Mary Heiss

Mary Heiss

Secretary

Guest Star

Alice Ghostley

Alice Ghostley

Bernice Clifton

Recurring Role

Trivia, Notes, Quotes and Allusions

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  • TRIVIA (0)

  • QUOTES (6)

    • (In front of the Judge)
      Phyllis: Basically it is just one thing; it is a bunch of odd things that Aunt Bernice does. She puts sheep placenta on her face before going to bed. And she keeps these small dolls in her closet with pins stuck through the necks. And the only picture in her bedroom is not of my sons, instead it's of some dumb pig and says "May all your dreams come true, Love, Neal".
      Suzanne: Excuse me, that is Noel, not Neal. I know that Pig. I gave her the sheep placenta. My housekeeper gave her the voodoo dolls. I don't known what's so weird about all that. I have some myself……It's a little hobby, y'know. Some people like golf, some people like revenge.

    • Julia: And just for the record, I think you should know, even if Bernice were crazy, that doesn't necessarily mean she should be put away.
      Phyllis: What are you saying?
      Julia: I'm saying this is the South. And we're proud of our crazy people. We don't hide them up in the attic. We bring 'em right down to the living room and show 'em off. See, Phyllis, no one in the South ever asks if you have crazy people in your family. They just ask what side they're on.
      Phyllis: Oh? And which side are yours on Mrs. Sugarbaker?
      Julia: Both.

    • Charlene : (As she reads an article) I can't believe this. Did you see this? Droves of vicious killer bees are headed toward the United States. They're from South America and are expected to arrive in three to four years. That is terrible. Can you imagine? I'll bet our bees are scared to death.

    • Charlene: Phyllis McGuire...boy, I bet you get kidded all the time about being one of the McGuire Sisters.
      Phyllis: No, actually, that's just so trite it never comes up. But thank you for asking. When is your baby due?
      Charlene: Well, actually it's not, I'm just overweight, but thank you for asking.

    • Mary Jo: You look awfully pretty.
      Bernice: Thank you, Mary Jo. I got to pick out my own clothes since Phyllis moved herself and the two Dicks over to the Ramada Inn. She said my Zamfir pan flute album kept her awake all night. Well of course I kept her awake all night. Does she think I want her fresh for my sanity hearing?

    • Suzanne: Why's everybody so crabby?
      Charlene: Us? You're the one who's crabby. Didn't you have a good time?
      Suzanne: No, Charlene, I did not have a good time, and I will never again go on Bruz Duncan's yacht with him or any of his repulsive international friends. My whole vacation was ruined by this person named Cappy Badminton. Supposed to be somebody's mistress from Switzerland.
      Charlene: What'd she do?
      Suzanne: Well, for starters, she didn't wear a top for seven straight days. You know, just any excuse at all to walk around naked and act like you don't speak English. If the sun came out, that top came off. If the sun went in, that top came off. If the moon came up, that top came off. I tell you, in my entire life I never got so tired of looking at one girl's breasts. Then on the last day, she goes scuba diving - topless. I was hoping a shark would eat her, and die of silicone poisoning.

  • NOTES (0)

  • ALLUSIONS (0)

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