Designing Women

(Suzanne is dreaming that she, Charlene, Julia, Mary Jo and Anthony are all infants in the hospital nursery in a giant playpen) Baby Mary Jo: Whaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhh Baby Charlene: Don't cry, Mary Jo. What's wrong? Baby Suzanne: Nothing's wrong. She's just jealous because I was the first baby born after midnight January One, 1990. Baby Mary Jo: I'm not jealous, I'm hungry!! I only weighed in at five pounds. (sucks her thumb) Baby Suzanne: Yeah, likes that's a problem. You know you're little and tiny and cute. Of course you're not as cute as some people. Hey where's that mirror-mobile? I like that thing. Baby Julia: Suzanne, suck your pacifier. Baby Suzanne: Ohh! A little fussy today aren't we? Well, you're all just jealous because I won the new car. I was the first baby. I won, I won, I won! Baby Julia: Suzanne, I am not fussy today. I just don't particularly care for the head nurse. She is so superior! I'm especially tired of her coming in here every five minutes with that thermometer. I'd like to tell her where to stick it (pause) but apparently she already knows. Baby Charlene: Well I think this whole place is great. It's twenty-four hour room service and look(holding up her hospital ID bracelet) free jewelry! Baby Suzanne: Are you serious? Baby Charlene: Yeah, I think it's pretty. Baby Suzanne: Well, I'm glad you're developing a taste for cheap bracelets. You're gonna need that later on in life. And by the way, would someone kindly tell me what is he doing here? Baby Anthony: Excuse me, but to whom are you referring? Baby Suzanne: Oh, well like I'm the only one here who noticed! Hasn't anyone else asked themselves what is wrong with this picture? Baby Mary Jo: He's different! Baby Charlene: Oh, I know. I especially noticed during the diaper change. He's definitely different. Baby Anthony: That's right, very very different. And I'll tell you something else. For some reason, I do not particularly appreciate being put behind these bars. Whaaaaahhhh!! I don't want to be incarcerated anymore! Let me out! I'm busting out of here now!! Baby Suzanne: Oh keep your diapers on! You wouldn't even make it to the hallway. Baby Anthony: Well maybe not on my own, but I'm gonna be driving that little car right there. Baby Suzanne: Whaaaaaahhhhhhhh!! Baby Anthony: I was just gonna borrow it. I'll bring it back. Baby Suzanne: You can't take that!! It's my car, I won it. I'm the New Years baby! (Baby Bernice enters and runs off with the pint size car) Baby Bernice: Not anymore!! Not anymore!! Baby Suzanne: That's my car! That's my car!!!