Desperate Housewives

well this episode would have of been ok if it wasnt for susan incrediable annoying ex boyfriend i was hoping that when susan broke up with him earlier in the season that we would never have to see him agian but to my despair he is back i hope susan dosnt get back together with because i cant stand him

Lynette had a ok week with all the sex abit of a filler but entertaining

Gaby had a pretty filler storlyine aswell with out the makeup

bree had an ok week as she seeks a divorce lawyer

overall a ok week that sets the scenes for the last few epiesodes

Yah! This episode marks the return of Jackson! Its also another good episode of the strong season 5. First of all, its nice to see the ladies being social - especially with Katherine. She has become a strong character and good friend - I actually felt sorry for Dana Delany during her talk with Mike.

Lynette and Tom's marriage is also on a good turn for once - sex for a month was funny stuff! Good lines from Lynette and Tom make this a funny episode.

Bree tries to ruin Orson's live by grabbing every penny she can - with the help of Richard Burgi! Glad Karl is back - he is an extremely funny character

Gabby proves she's a good mother for once. But Teri Hatcher and Gale Harold rule this episode - their chemistry is incredible and Susan's emotional confession was, well, emotional. But now it seems their lives are in danger from Psycho Dave...

Walter: "I thought you saw yourself as a good person?"

Bree: "Well, clearly I like to think of myself as a rich person even more."



If you let it, the feeling the déjà vu will literally overwhelm you as a viewer when watching this episode. Nearly all of the plots in this episode are overly familiar and as a result some of them fall a little flat because of it.



Bree's a good example of this. In Season Three, we had Gabby and Carlos embarking on some War Of The Roses type of antics and now Bree is doing the same thing as she finally tries to get Orson out of her life.



It's hard not to see her side of things though. Orson's stealing has spiralled out of control and because she's well aware that Rose's ramblings could have serious repercussions if someone actually listens to her, Bree might be right to play dirty to protect her assets so to speak.



The first lawyer she talked to in the episode didn't see things like that. Bree must be about as much welcome in their doors as an envelope containing anthrax. For all of her talk about being a good person though, Bree certainly has the behaviour and track record of the opposite.



When Susan randomly went on about Karl's legendary ruthlessness, it was clear that Bree would waste no time in employing his services. What Bree didn't bank on was that Karl would use some his scheming to get her to do a little something for him before taking her on as a client.



Last time someone tried to get Bree to do them a favour, it was Edie and she was ex-communicated from Wisteria Lane. Luckily Karl doesn't have to suffer such a fate and in spite of her protesting, manipulating a child isn't exactly that tasking for someone like Bree.



Using macaroons as a means of getting MJ to invite Evan to his party after Karl's attempt to bribe Mike failed wasn't the worst thing she's ever done (doesn't mean I condone it either). MJ's goofy response made me laugh, even if it was manipulatively meant to make the audience thinks, "aw, shucks?"



Bree's line around the end of the episode where she told Karl she'd be willing to play dirty and flat out lie in order to keep Orson from taking half of her business should foreshadow doom and underlying sympathy for Orson but all he did this episode was negotiate sex and further prove to Bree that he needed divorcing.



As for marriage proposals, both Jackson and Katherine should take lessons in how not to propose to someone. Both of them had selfish motives for wanting to get hitched to their significant others and only one them actually succeeded. Guess which one of them got lucky with that?



Well, it certainly wasn't Katherine. The damn woman played ball at first by getting MJ to pester Mike relentlessly about popping the question and when she finally decided to ask Mike herself, she certainly didn't like the answer she got, in spite of the fact that she wanted honesty from Mike.



So, why won't Mike marry Katherine after telling Dave not long ago that he was in love with her? It's not original but not being ready is the best that Mike can come up with. Sometimes it's best not asking and you could tell that Katherine immediately regretted asking Mike the big question.



As for commitment, Mike's moved in with her, has told her that he loves her (though I'm yet to be convinced). Maybe Katherine should be happy with that. That being said, as plots go, this one was certainly boring to say the least.



Also boring was Jackson proposing marriage to Susan so he wouldn't get deported (he's Canadian). Susan's hysterical crying of being lonely to wanting to end Jackson's days with a sucker plunge was inappropriately funny but I hated that Susan decided to go through with it.



These characters can often be living proof that some people don't learn from their mistakes but it's annoyingly clear that every season is doomed to be a finale of weddings and deaths. Jackson's certainly going to have to watch himself now that Dave is upping his plans to wipe out Susan.



It's funny that Dave spent most of the episode trying to get Susan to come away with him, especially when he should've just gone over there and snatched her and Jackson and have done with it. For someone desperate to get revenge, Dave is sure dragging things out on that score.



When revenge isn't dominating the thoughts of one man, then having sex is all that Tom can think about doing. Giving him and Lynette this tiresome plot where they vow to screw for a month uninterrupted wasn't the best of ideas.



Needless to say that Lynette's work commitments and exhaustion were going to put an occasional dampener on things and her falling asleep during one of their sex session certainly gave Tom another thing to whine about. Okay, Tom – shut the hell up, get a job and that's it basically.



Slightly better was the social commentary on natural beauty. Out of the new young kids, Juanita has probably fared fairly well in terms of getting stories. The fact that she'd wear makeup because other kids joked about her being adopted was kind of sad.



Gabby really should've just sucked it up and stuck to Carlos's plan for her to go without makeup to prove a point to Juanita. Aside from the woman she ended up stealing makeup from, no-one actually cared that Gabby had the natural look. That being said, I did love the poignant scenes between Gabby and Juanita towards the end of the episode and thinking about it, this was probably the strongest plot in the entire episode.



Also in "Bargaining"



We saw various bits of bargaining at the start of the episode with Karen and the paper boy, Susan and Bob, Gabby and Carlos, etc.



Mike (re marriage question): "Can you help me out here?"

Katherine: "Are you kidding?"



Both Bree and Katherine manipulated MJ in this episode and both of them did it with food – ice cream and macaroons.



Jackson: "I needed to talk to you."

Susan: "Why didn't you call?"

Jackson: "I wanted to surprise you."

Susan: "Well you did."



Karen (to Susan/Jackson): "If you two want to keep staring at each other, I can go and lie down on the lawn and die. I don't mind."



Jackson's visa went out six years ago and it's only now that he's decided to do something about it.



Carlos: "What's going on, are you alright?"

Lynette: "Sorry, just had the handyman in here but he's finished. Thank you, handyman."



Gabrielle (to Carlos): "Once you see this skin without foundation, you may change your mind."



Is this the first episode that Karl has appeared in without managing to annoy (or even see) Susan?



Jackson: "Let me in."

Susan: "Thanks but I've reached my level for maximum allowance of humiliation this week."



Tom (to Lynette): "I'm a middle aged man and I don't know what I want to do with my life."



Chronology: A few days since "Rose's Turn".



Sometimes this show hits the awesome button but "Bargaining" isn't one of those times. It's just that we've had so much better and this episode, while alright just didn't hit the mark for me.

This was okay - but somehow unsatisfying in the movement of the major plot, and okay some of the other plots too. actually kind of vacuous now that i think of it.



Ever since Dave switched his murderous fixation to Susan and MJ - it hasn't been the same. Something about a plot to kill a child -targeting an innocent child for a sick revenge killing is too disturbing to fit with the otherwise slick, ironic, glib, literary, etc etc tone the how has. does that makes sense? Anyway, then the Susan thing - with her blurting out all that still loving Jackson - oh how huMILiating!! Actually it was kind of funny. and it was kind of refreshing the way Susan quickly brushed it off and agreed to marry him for immigration purposes. Kind of implausible too though in my mind that she could get over it so quickly. She certainly is taking the high road a lot lately (e.g., re. Catherine and Mike)! Bree bribing MJ with macaroons to invite a bully to his birthday party so she can obtain the services of Susan's ex the shady divorce lawyer was all a little forced and un-engaging to me - i found the "things i do for macaroons" to be extremely contrived. I dunno - this episode was definitely not my favourite. and sorry but i have to say it, i miss Edie! Oh - and, the Orson plot is kind of odd - it competes with the Dave plot in a lot of ways - they both are like these disturbed murdering stalker type guys, Orson's just not to the extreme of Dave. Creepy watching Bree go into the house with Orson at the end. But, really, how many active morally obtuse stalkers should a soap have in operation at one time!?

They only thing I enjoyed from this episode was Kathryn being sneaky about trying to get a proposal out of Mike. Other then that every character seemed totally off. Gaby: At the beginning of the season Gaby said Juanita was 4 and now she says she is 6. Wow those 2 years went by fast! And the talk Gabby had with her at the end would be way over the head of a 6 year old. Apparently whoever wrote that storyline has no kids. Then she can't go one minuet without makeup? What a terrible message to send to all the women out there. Even if you're as pretty as Gabby you still have to wear makeup or you look like crap? I don't even own makeup but after watching this episode I felt like I shouldn't show my face in public again until I bought some. And now I'm over it.



Lynette: Excuse me ladies I have to have sex with Tom, I'll be down in 5 minuets. She leaves the poker game and everyone is supposed to wait for her downstairs why they know what she is doing? That was gross! Then having sex on her desk why she is talking to Carlos on speakerphone? That was totally ridiculous and very unlike Lynette. Why would she even answer the phone in the middle of sex? Their storyline is a very boring one. There is so much else they could do, I would like to see Tom's crazy daughter come back. Brie: I don't understand why they are having her and Orson divorce. I liked them together but they turned him into a weirdo.



Susan: Well it is very obvious now that Jackson is going to get it. How predictable, if fact this whole season has been completely predictable from the start.

This was really an improvement over last weeks episode which I found boring and dumb. "Bargaining" on the other hand was fun! :D Susan was amazing when she was crying out loud right after Jackson purposed on her. And then he said he only needs it because his visa explored 6 years ago (LOL!). Gaby had amount of pretty amazing scenes and I must say: I LOVE JUANITA. That girl is so sweet and very good actress. Bree is seeking divorce, she wants Karl to be her lawyer. But she has to convince MJ to invite Evan to his sleepover. :D Pretty damn funny line there: "He hit me with the dead squirrel." LMAO! And Lynette and Tom bargained over sex. The best scene was that really quick quickie at her office with Carlos on the phone :D "Thank you, handyman." :) The only reason why I gave this episode rating of 9 and not 10 is main mystery. It is just too long, it is not even mystery. We are just waiting for that story line to wrap up.

Been there, done that, bought the 99 cent T-shirt. For the penultimate episode of a season, that's not exactly the kind of response you want to engender in your audience, but sadly, 'Bargaining' sees Desperate Housewives falling back on tired old habits; predictable character beats that have been fleshed out, over-analysed and nitpicked to death for the past five years. Take Lynette and Tom's story as an example: what could the writing staff possibly do with their characters in their current situation? Give them an interesting angle with a friend, perhaps? Introduce some conflict in the lives of one of their criminally underused younger children, Penny and Parker? Have Lee take Tom to a gay club to ease his boredom? Oh wait! I know! I've got it! Let's give the couple ANOTHER problem in their relationship... yes, Lynette's back to work and it's consuming her life so that she hasn't got time for her husband! Just like three seasons ago! And, for that matter, just like Carlos and Gaby a few weeks back! Yeah, that'll be interesting! But wait, there's more! The pay-off can be that Tom is lost in his house-husband role and so... will go back to work! Great, that's soooooooooooo original! And even if we've done it before, so what? No one will care, they'll be too busy staring at Doug Savant's naked torso to remember! Euck. This whole thing is like a never-ending merry-go-round, as first one of the two gets a job, then it comes between them so the other one gets a job too, then they realise that's affecting their marriage even more so the one who got the job originally quits, and then that person gets bored after a while and so on and so forth, ad bloody nauseum. Can't we have something a little more original? Is that really too much to ask?



Unfortunately, this problem doesn't end with Lynette and Tom. Susan's narrative hurtles right back into the jaws of predictability when Jackson metaphorically car-crashes into her life again, ready to send all of the promising character development from the past ten episodes flying straight out of the window. Independent woman? Strong individual succeeding on her own? Pah! One glimpse of the man she was having casual sex with for a couple of months and pushed away when he wanted more, and then one subsequent dinner date with him, and she's locking herself in her bathroom, blubbing and whining about how lonely she is and how she's been head over heels in love with him this entire time. Erm, say what now? This from the woman who balked at the idea of Jackson getting a key to her house, who ran a mile when he suggested moving away with him and developing some sort of, you know, commitment? After months apart, she's professing endless love and, from the looks of things, is ready to accept what she believes is a genuine marriage proposal? Give me a sodding break. Sure, there are logical emotional elements to Myer's little bathroom speech - she *would* find it hard to be without a partner, as has been established in the past - but transforming her into a gibbering wreck whose knees buckle and whose head gives in at the slightest whiff of the concept of engagement is just downright horrible. And to make matters worse, the writers rub her bloody face in it by making her misinterpret the situation! Oh look at kooky old Susan, saying the wrong thing at the wrong time and humiliating herself yet again! Isn't she just the stupidest? Well no, she isn't. The show has done some very encouraging things with her character in the second half of this season and to sacrifice it all so that the finale can include the apparently mandatory wedding and some overwrought drama is just plain insulting. Oh, and by overwrought drama, I mean the conflict that will inevitably ensue when Mike finds out. How predictably timed this one appears to be, eh? The writers threw a spanner into the works in his and Katherine's relationship for no good reason at all last week and continue to do so here, playing up the commitment rift as if it's going to be the wedge that drives them apart. While the notion that Mike could still be in love with Susan is addressed and pleasingly debunked, if the sight of she and Jackson being wed next week contributes in any way to the separating of Delfino and Mayfair, I won't be a happy man. Actually, I'm worried for how the 'MJ will die' storyline might figure into this too, although it appears likelier that Jackson will die now, so we'll just have to wait and see.



The remaining narratives aren't quite as problematic, although they still lack spark. Bree's conniving and scheming is a little difficult to place. While I enjoy Marcia Cross's performance, and this is at least something fresh and interesting, every brain cell I have is telling me that the character would never resort to this sort of blatantly criminal activity. I mean, she's even acknowledging that her actions are against the law... to her divorce lawyer no less! And it's all about money?! Is Mrs. Hodge really that shallow? I honestly don't think so. Sure, she's conservative; her right-wing politics have been well established in the show over the years but at the end of the day, she's always been shown to be a decent human being, with her heart in the right place. Now she's throwing that out of the window? Orson's committed a series of crimes so she can too? Nah, I don't buy it. This smacks far too much of plot manipulation, adapting character to fit the story rather than the much preferable vice versa. And while it was nice to see Gaby and her daughter get some quality screen time and some meaningful exchanges, do they really have to be entwined in the same old plot structure? Gabrielle appears to be shallow and self-absorbed for 3/4 of the episode but, look! She has an epiphany and her true self emerges in the final act. That probably describes about 90% of her storylines in the entire history of the show. Change the record, would ya, Desperate Housewives? In fact, throw out the record player and invest in a stereo system. Your audience has outgrown your output.

This is really a testament to how great Desperate Housewives is. Let's be honest for a moment. This was a filler episode. The viewer could have missed this week and been caught up next Sunday without getting lost.



But they would have missed out on a lot of laughs. D House finds a way to make even the most uneventful, uninspired plotlines hilarious and the dramatic moments, which are not too different from what we have seen heading into previous seasons are just so creative and fun right now.



If I had to nitpick and find something to complain about it is that we know Dave is not going to "win". I look forward to the epic action scene on the fishing boat, but we all know he is not going to kill Susan. With the previous psychos on this show, especially Wayne and Victor last Season, you got a sense that they might actually succeed in killing their rivals because they were targeting Katharine and Carlos respectively, not the star of the show. It should be fun, Neal McDonough has been a great addition to the cast this year, but the evil inside me wishes he could get revenge.

I pretty much enjoyed everything last night, which is nice, considering the past few eps. have driven me nuts. Lynette and Tom doin' it in the office with Carlos on speaker was classic Housewives hilarity! The best scene of the night was probably the Susan/Jackson proposal gag, which was perfectly executed, right down to the silent beats. ("Jackson? You still there?" "Susan, you really should have let me finish..." The story I liked most was Gaby and Juanita. The kid just wanted to look pretty like her mommy and my heart went out to that. I'm glad the show took time to address this, as I'm sure all of us were kinda wondering how good-looking people like Carlos and Gaby can produce offspring that look like...well, THAT. (Oh, come on, I'm not a monster! We've all thought this- maybe a little?) Still it was touching and sincere, and I always enjoy seeing Gabby in mother mode. Such growth for her character!



Katherine also got some nice business fishing for some commitment from Mike, who just wasn't ready. I think this is the most we've seen from their relationship all season, and now I'm finally starting to get the sense that there is a real relationship here. I wish we could have spent more time with them, now that the season's almost up. Dave is back to business, but with Jackson back in town, and the fire investigation still pending, the clock is ticking with him. This has been the most dragged out plot I've EVER seen (lol) but at least he's not moping around the house over a woman he never really loved anymore. Good ep, some great lines:



"I've seen more ceiling than Michaelangelo!" Lynette on sex with Tom.



"I was in labor for 20 hours! She still owes me for that!" -Gaby on sacrificing her looks for her daughter.



"There's someone in my life who hits me with a dead squirrel every. Single. Day." - Bree on her feelings for Orson.



"Next time there's an epidemic people are going to think I'M Patient Zero!" -Gaby on getting her photo taken without makeup.

This episode, Bargaining, was so funny. Lynette abd her whole "I've seen more ceiling than Michelangelo" was so funny. Tom and Lynette both were pretty comical. Gaby and her "I need make-up, can I borrow yours" scheme was original and very Gaby. Susan and her tiny breakdown in confessing her love to Jackson after he proposed and then him telling her it was only so he wouldn't be deported back across the border was funny as well. Katherine and MJ working together is something I thought I would never see, but then again, kids will do a lot for some ice cream! Bree bribing an eight year old was priceless. And when Gaby mentioned that Juanita was six, to me the numbers didn't seem to add up.

This episode had some good storylines, but the others were just dreadful. A big disappointment after last week and we're down to square again.



--Gabrielle--

The best one of the episode. They finally gave Juanita's and Gaby's characters some depth and although this could have found place earlier this season, I loved it. Especially the scene where Carlos and Gaby explain why she doesn't have to wear make-up (finally a parenting moment with these 2!) and the conversation in Juanita's bedroom (Ellie's bedroom in season 4, by the way). The acting was fantastic and I love Gaby/Eva even more.



--Lynette--

One of the three disappointments. Instead of making it sort of juicy and sexy, which this couple might need, we only get the office scene which was good. The rest was just a reharsh of old storylines. They could have just begun with Tom's story about how he wants a job again and start from there. Next week a facelift? Yeesh, this guy is starting to piss me off.



--Susan--

And we're back to the love department. The bathroom scene was just ridiculous. Jackson's late confession about how it was just to avoid deportation was stupid: he could have known she was about to react like that. And I know it's the charater, but Teri needs to stop over-acting her emotional scenes.



--Katherine--

Good one. More screentime for Kathy and the first scene was awesome. I'm glad her relationship with Mike is finally getting cleared up and I hope they can just be happy now.



--Bree--

Started of stupid and slow, but things picked up with MJ. It was ridiculous how she was supposed to get Karl's kid a playdate (this episode should have been called 'Silly People', not the one in S2), but the dead squirrel was hilarious. I'm ready for a darker Bree now, so bring on the juicy stuff! Breaking in in your own house - looks to be promising.



--Dave--

I'm so annoyed with this. His plan with Susan is dragging on just like the one with Mike and Katherine and the police finally coming over about Dr. Heller's body? This show can't afford any of this mistakes anymore, because this is ridiculous. This scene could have easily found place the episode after the fire, only they have to drag it out. And no progress on Jackson's part... a letdown.



All in all, good points thanks to Gaby, Katherine and Bree, but Dave's mystery is starting to piss me off for the first time and things really need to be over for him soon. His character is played out. The filming also felt different: the black screen between Dave and Bree's scenes at the end of the episode? Weird. The narrations also felt like they were in a different order. 5x20 was much better and I hope I can say the same for the next one.

Let me just start off by saying that all things considered, I absolutely loved this episode. All of the storylines were great. While I loved all of the storylines, Bree's storyline was definitely my favorite. I can't believe that Bree actually bribed M.J. into inviting Evan to his birthday party just so Karl would be her divorce lawyer. That was absolutely hilarious! I think that Marcia Cross gave an amazing performance in this episode. Susan's storyline was definitely my second favorite storyline of the episode. I'm so glad that Gale Harold is back. I'm a huge fan of his so it's great having him on the show again. I think that he plays the role of Jackson so well. As a whole, I thought that this episode had the perfect blend of drama and comedy. In closing, I thought that this was a very well written, well acted and well made episode of Desperate Housewives from everyone involved, and I can't wait to see the next episode.

Tom and Lynette negotiate sex as Bree tries to retain the best divorce lawyer. Jackson returns with a proposal for Susan. Gabby learns that Juanita wants to look like her and wears makeup. Katherine uses MJ to learn about Mike's plans for the future.



I liked this episode. The scene with Katherine giving MJ the ice cream for asking Mike all those questions was so cute. Mike took Karl's money. Hehe. Tom is so sexy when he's shirtless and about to have sex. Rawr. Hehe Tom and Lynette having sex in the office with Carlos on the phone was hilarious! Haha! Not a bad episode at all. I enjoyed it. That was the quickest sex ever, though. I liked Bree seeing Karl for the divorce. Good episode, as always.