'Careful the Things You Say' is a game of two halves, where one is replete with interesting new character pairings and the other is full of stale retreads of former glories. With Lynette and Bree's stories, the episode is able to hold its head up high and lay claim to still being one of the sharpest and most underhandedly humorous drama-cum-soap-operas on television. Coupling Mrs. Scavo up with Julie Mayer was a fantastic idea right from the get go, way back in the season's second episode, and it's really refreshing to see the pair engaged in a heart-to-heart, delivering some meaningful and believable discourse that edges forward this year's arc plot without a great deal of contrivance. Lynette's effective voicing of her suspicions to good old Larry Moss plays wonderfully, despite being somewhat reminiscent of Tom's encounters with Dave last year, and Felicity Huffman caps it all off by selling his unspoken threat with just the right level of unease. From the Hodges, meanwhile, we have a lovely piece of comedic theatre, set around a dining table, that manages to incorporate Bree's infidelity, Orson's cluelessness, the couple's woeful marital problems, Nick's infidelity, Angie's maneouvering and, indeed, this couple's woeful marital problems simultaneously, allowing the humour to arise naturally out of a perfectly ordinary, and yet highly charged, situation. It's a shame that Bree resorts to stealing Angie's recipies, and that it takes a few stern words for the pair to end up where they should be - in the kitchen together - but at least we get some honesty from our favourite gun-toting conservative and the makings of what could be a most enjoyable friendship. It's worth mentioning, actually, that the Bolens continue to be distinctly intriguing week in, week out. There's some mighty fine acting chops on display here, particularly when Angie reveals that she's aware of Nick's affair, and the writers keep things just the right side of oblique and mysterious not to provoke frustration.
Sadly though, there's that pesky second half to contend with and it really drags the episode down. Susan's visit to the police station is practically the epitome of lazy writing, fit to burst with half-arsed stereotypes and predictable dialogue. The fact that she and Denise have some unfortunate history is telegraphed from the moment they first clap eyes on each other, so the reveal fails spectacularly, but how on Earth did anyone think this would be even remotely entertaining in the first place? Oh yes, Susan's being harrassed by Katherine and having trouble getting through to the police... well, wouldn't it be even funnier if the police turned out to be on Mayfair's side, and proactively hindered Susan? Yeah yeah, that'd be great. It's a screamer... write it down! Except don't. It's unbelievable, it's old hat and it's just plain uninteresting. Same goes for you, Gabrielle's-housekeeper-cum-Physics-expert. We've had this story before, and it came in the form of the maid that Carlos had his wicked way with in season two. Granted, she wasn't helping any children with their maths homework, but still... Gabrielle shirking her responsibilities and palming them off to someone less fortunate? How original!
What Desperate Housewives needs right now is consistency. It needs to find a writer or two who can embelish everyone's narratives with creativity and derive comedy and drama organically from the characters, instead of grafting it on with the heaviest of hands. In its current state, it's far too hit and miss, and sooner rather than later, it's going to come a cropper because of it.moreless
