Desperate Housewives

"Every neighborhood has a woman like Alberta Fromme (A lady of a certain age is shown taking mails out of her mailbox) and every woman like Mrs. Fromme had a cat (her cat is on the sofa in her house). When she traveled Mrs. Fromme would arrange for friends to look after her beloved pet (her cat is near her bag with stuff and Mrs. Fromme loves her cat very much). This time however she was forced to ask Susan Mayer (She hangs up and crosses over the name Vanessa Hunter (The names Sheila Bukowski, Ida Greenberg, Danny Shersty, Josephine O'Bren and Diane Dekker are also crossed over)). Mrs. Fromme liked Susan, but it was common knowledge on Wisteria Lane, where Susan Mayer went bad luck was sure to follow. (Mrs. Fromme asks Susan and Susan accept it and Mrs. Fromme has a terrified look on her face).

Her misfortune ranged from the commonplace (she slams into the trash can with her car) to the unusual (she is on some party and she places her hand on the table while talking with a man and the whole table crumbles and she falls on the table with her face into a cake) to a truly bizarre (she is putting the bird food in her garden and the birds starts flying over her head and Susan got scared and starts jumping around). As she waved goodbye she worried that Susan streak of bad luck would continue (Mrs. Fromme is in the cab and she waves at Susan and her cat, Susan is holding the cat and with cat's paw she is waving back to Mrs. Fromme) for that matter so did her cat."

It is already night and Susan and Julie enter the house to feed Mr. Whisker. They are calling him but he is not coming. The drawers are open and Susan points out that cat can't open drawers. When Julie asked her if she left them open this morning Susan tells her that she is sure that she closed them. Julie points out that somebody might have broke in and they see the screwdriver and they start calling for Mr. Whiskers. As they go further away a door in the house opens and the silhouette of a man walks by and the cat is following him. The man leaves the house with the cat. "Though she didn't know it at the time Susan's luck had finally started to change (He opens the door and lets the cat in)"



"News that an intruder had breached the security of Wisteria Lane spread like wildfire (All the neighbors are going over to the Scavo's). At a neighborhood watch meeting the next night residents voiced their concerns over the increasing dangers their community faced (Mike is pouring himself coffee and takes the seat).

Mrs. Ida Greenberg announced someone was looking through her bathroom window whenever she took a shower. Bob Fisk warned those present that an unnamed government agency was listening in on their phone conversations. Helen Vale spoke of a ruthless local teenage gang that had egged her minivan (One teenage is shown and he has a shocking expression on his face). The evening concluded with Officer Thompson offering safety tips and a plan of action. Thompson gives the paper to the people to sign in for the daily and nightly surveillance patrol and Lynette takes the paper to sign. Susan waves at Mike and he just nods. He asks if anyone has any questions and nobody says anything and he concludes the night. Susan walks to him and tells him privately that she has a favor to ask him. She tells him that she is the one who discovered the break in and she found the screwdriver left by the burglar. He asks her why she didn't give this to the investigating officers. She tried but they sort of laughed at her because nothing was taken from Mrs. Frome house. Thompson apologizes for that and tells her that he will take that to the lab. Mike is looking at them carefully.

The girls stayed behind to clean the house but the twins are playing with pillows. Lynette tells them to go upstairs but they won't go. She shows them some crackers and she throws the pack upstairs and they run for it (like dogs…) and when Lynette turns around Bree is a little bit shocked. Gabrielle and Susan are in the kitchen together and Gaby asks her why she wasn't sitting with Mike together because they were becoming an item. Susan thought so too and she gave him mixed signals. Gaby points out that officer Thompson was staring at Susan the whole night because he wasn't staring at Gaby. Lynette tells Bree that she really appreciate for help and Bree tells her that she would have hosted it herself but the kids are going up in the mountain and there is mountain equipment everywhere. Lynette has a favor to ask of Bree. She knows that Bree's kids both went to Barcliff Academy and she would like of Bree to recommend the twins because they can't even get the interview. Bree is in some kind of shock because Lynette is asking her to say how twins beautifully behave so that means she wants Bree to lie. Bree tells her that she is very well respected at Barcliff and her word won't be good there anymore. Lynette tells her that by the time they realize that the kids will be in and Bree won't have anymore children why does she care. Bree tells her that she meant to send her grandchildren there but Lynette obviously doesn't care. Gabrielle and Susan open the door to throw the garbage and they hear Paul and Zach fighting again. Lynette points out that that is the second time this week and they never used to fight like that when Mary Alice was alive. Susan tells that it is a shame because they used to be such a happy family. Bree tells them that just because they didn't hear them fighting it doesn't mean they were happy.



"The next day, as the residents began to patrol Wisteria Lane in the hopes of foiling potential burglars, Gabrielle was about to experience a home invasion of her own."

Cab parks in front of Gabrielle's house and an old woman comes with her bags from it. It is Carlos' mother Juanita Solis and Gabrielle is in shock and asks her what she is doing here. She tells her that she had come to visit her son and daughter in law. Gabrielle asks her if Carlos knew she was coming and Juanita tells her that he likes to be surprised. Juanita leaves her bag on the ground and tells Gabrielle to come with her hands open. They hug and Juanita whispers to her that family should always hug regardless of how they feel about each other. Juanita goes into house and Gabrielle is clearly pissed off.



Lynette and Tom are at the meeting with Barcliff headmaster Mr. Lenz and he is reading the profiles of the twins. Mr. Lenz is reading it slowly while Lynette is certainly very nervous. It is so quiet and Mr. Lenz gives her the look and then again continues to read the profile. Tom is looking at the pictures of the boat and tells him that the boat is a beauty and points out that she is 30 footer. Mr. Lenz tells him that it is 32 and Tom tells him that he sails. Mr. Lenz tells him that they have a couple of yachting enthusiast at the Barcliff Academy and they can arrange a meeting…if they decide to enroll the twins. Mr. Lenz tells them that twins' educational background is a bit more common then they would prefer but he points out that Bree told him that they were identical twins. Lynette tells him that they are completely identical and they have a problem telling them apart. Mr. Lenz tells them that they like diversity in the academy and they would make an interesting addition. Lynette tells him that they have their own twin secret language and Tom tells him that it is pretty scary and Lynette tells him that it is not so much scary as highly developed. Tom tells him that they growl and bark at each other and Mr. Lenz makes a shocking expression but Lynette silence him quickly and tells Mr. Lenz to go on. Mr. Lenz tells them that he will put the twins on his must meet list. Lynette and Tom are very happy about that and then Lynette asks him what is a must meet list. Mr. Lenz explains to her that they bring the twins for observation to see how they behave and socialize with other kids and how they respond to authority. Tom and Lynette lies and tell Mr. Lenz that that sounds wonderful (they have a sad expression on their faces).



Bree is packing sandwiches for the kids and Rex comes by to say hi. Bree thanks him for driving the kids off to the bus and he tells her that he misses them. Bree tells him about the break in and Rex points out that nothing was taken but Bree tells him that it doesn't make it any less frightening. Bree points out that the break in person might have been a sexual predator and Rex tells her that that would have been a lose-lose situation. Bree tells him that the point is that she doesn't feel safe and asks him to sleep over. He tells her that she is in the NRA and she owns four guns. Rex tells her that he would expect her to protect him if somebody broke in. She tells him now with the kids gone she will be all alone in the house for the first time in 17 years. Rex tells her that the marriage counseling might not work out and she needs to get used to being alone. He takes one sandwich but Bree takes out of his hand and tells him that that is for the kids. Rex tells her that he is staying at the motel and he hadn't had a decent meal in weeks. She tells him that the marriage counseling might not work out and he needs to get used to bad cooking.



Officer Thompson stops by Susan's house and she watering the lawn. He tells her that he had stopped by to tell her that he had left the screwdriver in the lab for fingerprints. He tells her that he would call her when he hears something new about it but then admits the he would call her anyway. She tells him that he is a really nice guy but she sort of has a boyfriend and it is hard to explain even to Susan can't explain that to herself. There is a voice hearing from the walkie-talkie and the voice says that there is a 907a in progress somewhere in Fairview. He tells her that he has to go because there is a hostage situation. He tells her that his self esteem is damaged and he might not be able to save those hostages but tells Susan not to blame herself for anything that might happen. Susan smiles and he explains to her that it is hard to save people when he feels bad about himself. He tells her that they will all die anyway. Susan tells him that she will go out with him and he tells her that he will call her. She asks him what 907a really is and he tells her that someone's TV is being played too loud.



Carlos and Juanita are talking and Gabrielle tells them that she will be outside doing her yoga. Carlos tells him mother to sit and he will be right back. He goes outside and asks Gabrielle if she has to do that now. Gabrielle tells him that she will not change her life just because Juanita showed up unannounced. Carlos tells her that she is family and she doesn't need an invitation but Gabrielle tells him that it is rude and starts doing her yoga. Carlos lets her be and goes inside. He goes inside and Juanita is knitting something and he tells her that she was always good with her hand. Juanita says that she didn't travel 2000 miles to engage in small talk and she wants to know why she is here. He tells her that Gabrielle is unhappy. He gave her everything she ever wanted but it is not making a difference and he feels her drifting further and further away and he thinks that lately…and he starts crying. Juanita asks him if she is cheating on him and he tells her that he thinks so and he starts crying quietly. She touches Carlos' chin and he looks at her with his watery eyes and she…slaps him. She tells him that they can talk about the problem but she won't tolerate that (his crying). She asks him if he has any proof and he tells her that it is just the feeling. She tells him that she had the same feeling with his father and the whore waitress and she was right. Juanita tells him to always trust his feelings and he asks her what he should do. She tells him to do nothing as she will take care of it. She apologizes for hitting him and tells him that they are strong people and they don't cry about their problems but they find a way to fix them. They both look through the window at Gabrielle, while she is doing her yoga.



"While the residents of Wisteria Lane kept up their patrols in an effort to prevent future break-ins, Lynette hatched a plan to break her children into Barcliff Academy."

Lynette wakes them up. They are having a lot of exercise like running and digging the pool. Lynette tells them that she can still see their heads and it means that the pool is not deep enough. The boys complain that they are too tired.

They are in the observation and they are completely tired that they can't even run, or jump or scream. They just sit and play with puzzle while one of the twins falls asleep. Mr. Lenz asks Lynette if her kids are usually so docile and she tells him that they are shy at first. One of the twins is hit in the head by a ball but he is not moving and Lynette points out that they are having an extremely good concentration.



Gabrielle receives a message on her mobile phone and the message says: "Meet me at the motel." And it is from John. Juanita is watching TV and Gabrielle tells her that she needs to go to the store and she will be right back. As she goes outside Juanita follows her and tells her that she is planning to make some tamales for Carlos. Gabrielle tells her that she is not going to the supermarket; she is going to the lingerie store. Juanita tells her that she needs some bras but Gabrielle tells her that she might stay for a while and do a facial and Juanita points out that she has a face too and sits in the car. Gabrielle is so pissed off.



Mike is cleaning some stuff and Susan just stops by to say hello. She tells him about the cop and that he had agreed to do the fingerprint test on the screwdriver. Mike points out that nothing was taken and Susan tells him that somebody broke in. She tells him that the cop asked her out and she said yes and she wants to hear Mike's thoughts. Mike asks her if she is asking him for a permission to go out with him. Susan was just wondering his opinion and he tells her that he doesn't really have one. Susan is really disappointed and she starts going away but Mike tells her that he is sorry and that his life is complicated right now and Susan tells him that he doesn't need to explain and she gets it. Mike goes to his garage and moves a box and the camera shows the sat of screwdriver and one clearly missing. (So Mike broke in…why?)



Bree calls for Paul and the door is open and she comes in. Zach is cleaning the floor and tells her that Paul went out of town again and Bree will have to patrol alone. She points out that the house is very tidy and Zach tells her that Mary Alice liked it that way. She sees that Zach is cleaning and then she sees that the varnish is ruined and asks him what happened. He tells her that that is where Mary Alice died and he messed up the floor trying to get out the blood. Zach tells her that he will tell Paul that she stopped by and Bree asks him if he has any plans for dinner.



Gabrielle and Juanita are in the lingerie store and Gabrielle is watching at her watch while going through some stuff. Juanita points out that she shops a lot. Gabrielle wants to know if that is the problem and Juanita tells her that women who shop a lot do that because they don't have anything better to do. Gabrielle wants to know what her point is. She tells her that if she has children and Gabrielle is already pissed off…children give your life a purpose and she will be so busy taking care of them that she won't have any time to think if she is happy or not. Gabrielle tells her that it is so like her because she invites her to the shopping with her and she always finds a way to upset her. Juanita points out that she invited herself and points out that Gabrielle is looking at her watch constantly and asks her if there is some place she has to be. Gabrielle yells at her and tells her no and for the record she doesn't have a hole in her heart that can only be filled with a baby and she likes her life a lot and it is very fulfilling. She goes away but people keep starring at them and Juanita apologizes for both of them and tells them that her daughter-in-law is very fulfilled.



Lynette and Susan are talking while Lynette is returning the earth to the hole twins dug up Susan tells her about Mike and how he was totally not jealous. She asks her that is that about the hole and sees the twins asleep and Lynette tells her that it is gophers. Lynette tells her that she is sorry about Mike and she knows how much she likes him. Susan tells her that she just imagined it all and Lynette tells her that there was flirting and Susan tells her that it is with her like that and the guy needs to smile three times at her and she is already looking for wedding dresses. Lynette tells her that that is the part of her charm and she tells her that that is what happened with Karl as they only dated couple of months and they got married and it was a disaster. Lynette asks her if she thinks that Mike is Karl in disguise. Susan tells her that she doesn't know and she wants to know what that "my life is complicated" is all about.



Mike meets with somebody near football court and the man points out that he is late. Mike tells him that he almost got caught while breaking into Fromme's house. The man wants to know what does that almost mean and he tells him that he left something behind with his fingerprints on it. The man asks him if he ever heard of gloves and Mike tells him that he meant that it wasn't important in the suburbs. Mike tells him that the cops are doing the fingerprint test and he is in the system and he will have to run before they start looking for him. The man is looking at the children and tells him that the laughter is a sweet sound…and it pisses him of. He tells him until he is being discovered he will stay in the suburb and keep fixing the pipes. Mike tells him that the more they stay in this town the more he thinks they are making the mistake because all of them are nice people and the man tells him that his money is telling him that one of them isn't. The ball comes near them and he returns it to the kid and then tells Mike that there can be no more screw-ups and leaves.



Gabrielle and Juanita are watching some soap opera together and Gabrielle goes to get something for drink and asks Juanita if she would like something but Juanita is so into the show that she doesn't care about anything. Gabrielle notices that and sneaks to go to John. She tells him not to be mad at her and he tells her that he had been waiting for her for three hours and he had spent one month of food saving for that room. Gabrielle tells him that Juanita is not letting her out of her sight and John points out that she is not here and she tells him that she is watching Mexican soap opera and a rebel's virgin daughter is about to be seduced by the escaped desperado and until she puts out Juanita won't notice that she is gone. John walks away again and Gabrielle tells him again that she is sorry and he tells her that he turned down half the pep squad because of Gabrielle. Gabrielle tells him that he can't be serious. John tells her that he is starting to think that he should be with someone his own age and Gabrielle thought that teenage girls bored him. She asks if he is bored of her and he tells her that he wants to be with her and she asks him why are they arguing and the almost kiss but Juanita calls for her and Gabrielle is totally pissed that virgin already gave up her virginity. John tells her that he wants her so bad and she tells him to meet him in front of the mall tomorrow after the school and she asks her about Juanita and Gabrielle tells him that she will take care of that and they kiss. She yells at Juanita that she is coming.



Tom is mad that Barcliff wants a donation. Lynette tells him that they are in the competition with another family and the generous donation would guarantee to beet them off. Tom asks her how generous and she tells him that they need to be serious and she tells him 15 000$. He points out that they don't have that and Lynette also knows it. Tom tells her that the public school is out unless they move to a new district but of course they won't move. Tom suggests homeschooling and tells her that kids who are homeschooled to better in their later years and Lynette tells him that they won't make it to their later years if they spend the whole day with her. Tom tells her that they need to make some sacrifices.



Bree and Zach are having a dinner and he likes the pudding. She tells him that she likes to serve the food that she will serve for the Christmas before it because if the cookbook has gotten it wrong she can fix it. Zach points out that she really loves Christmas and they have the best decorations on their lawn. Bree tells him that she adores the holidays and she never gets depressed if there is a beautiful decorated tree to look at. Zach tells her that he and Mary Alice always used to decorate the tree together and this Christmas it is going to be weird. Bree tells him that her mother died when she was young too. She was hit by a car just before Christmas. They were all singing off the key except for her, some carols and nobody noticed that her mother sneaked out to give the neighbors a gift and the next thing they heard were the breaks screeching. She tells him that the most of her family went to the hospital but she stayed home because she was so young and she looked through the window and saw all of her mother's blood on the street. Nobody was doing anything about it so she took a hose and washed it off and she felt so much better once it was cleaned. Bree tells him that she never told anyone this story before and he tells her that those stories are the most interesting. He tells her that he has one and whispers to her that he knows why his mother killed herself…it was something of what he did…something bad and he starts panicking and rushes out of the house.



Susan is changing her streetlamp while Bree tells them what happened. Gabrielle tells them that they should go to the police and Bree tells her that they don't have anything to say and they don't even have the note anymore. Susan tells Bree that she should get Zach to tell her something more about it. Bree tells them that Zach is scared out of his mind. Gabrielle tells him that she is a woman and that she should manipulate him because that is what they do. Bree doesn't know how and Gabrielle asks her how she manipulated Rex.

Bree goes over to Zachary and invites him for dinner tonight and tells him that the dinner last night threw her in a mood and she will make a wonderful dinner with an eggnog and asks him if he ever tried an old fashioned eggnog and he admits that he didn't and she tells him that he will love it because it gives quite a kick.



Twins are going wild as usual while Lynette is reading the fun of homeschooling but she can't concentrate because of the kids and when she asks them to behave they are normally not listening to her. Something is making her sitting uncomfortable and it is the ship toy and she suddenly gets an idea.



Gabrielle and Juanita are shopping and Juanita tells her that she had bought her too many things already and Gabrielle tells her that they need to spice the wardrobe and gives her the blouse to try. She is trying the blouse but Juanita is complaining that it is so tight and Gabrielle tells her that while she changes she will make a quick rush to the bookstore and puts another blouse in one of the bags that is not paid. Juanita rushes after her and once she gets out of the store the alarm goes off. Gabrielle gets out of the store and she meets with John right on time. The security found the blouse and Juanita tells them that she doesn't know where that came from and she rushes to find Gabrielle but security arrests her.



Bree is making a dinner but the phone rings and she answers it is Rex and he invites her to have dinner with him. She goes out and Zach comes over. She tells him that something very important came up and she needs to cancel. Zach is sad about it and she tells him that they will have their dinner and rushes off to meet with Rex.



Susan is in the police car with Officer Thompson and they are going through criminal files on the computer and she asks him about Kelly Halsteder. Susan tells him that she used to spit in her gym shoes when she was in eighth grade and Kelly has so many law breakings such as DUI. Susan wants to know when their date does begin and Officer tells her that the taxpayer says him in 20 minutes but he says now.



Tom tells her that the kids are asleep and he notices that she had been reading about homeschooling. Lynette tells him that it gave her one good idea. They agreed that one of them should stay at home and parent the kids while the other should go out and make for a living and then it occurred to her that while she was working she made more money them him. She tells him that she made sacrifices for the past six years and he will have to make one now. He tells her that he would lose his mind with the kids and she gives him the look. He tells her that the homeschooling is out and then asks her where can they find 15 000$ and Lynette looks at Tom's boat picture. "Lynette was desperate to avoid homeschooling, but she saw no options on the horizon until a solution sailed into view." Tom is in shock and Lynette just gives him the sad look.



Thompson is changing his clothes from his car trunk and she sees the screwdriver and he apologizes for lying to her and tells her that nobody would authorize the lab in this case. He tells her that he thought that they were clicking and it doesn't have to be a big deal and she tells him that it wouldn't be if he had only lied to her once. He tells her that he knows what she wants, she wants him to beg and he goes on his knees and he begs and then stands up and tells her not to be a girl about this. She tells him that he is Karl in disguise and she had with all of them. She takes her purse from his car and he tells her that the streets are not safe and she tells him that she would rather take her chances on the street and goes away while he comments that he always finds the psychos.



Zach breaks into Van de Kamps with an axe in his hand.



Susan approaches one prostitute and tells her that she is lost and she tells her that this corner is hers. Susan asks her if she could point her to the direction of the closest payphone and give her quarters for this five…and the prostitute tells her that if she got paid in quarters she would be doing something very wrong. Susan starts walking away but the prostitute gives her her cell and Susan thanks her and calls Julie and tells her to send someone to pick her up on the corner of Ninth and Foster and tells her to hurry when one man asks her for action and Susan tells him that she is on the break.



Bree and Rex are back home and they got the news about the break in. Officer explains to them that one of the neighbors saw the intruder forcing his way into the home and they sent a team to investigate and they never seen something like this. They go inside to find the house completely decorated in Christmas decorations. Bree sees the sock with Young's names on them.

Rex says that he chopped down one of their pine trees and officer tells him that it is obvious. Zach is brought in front of them and Bree wants to know why he did this but he also doesn't know and she tells the officer to take of the handcuffs. Paul walks into the house but the officers calm him down as he wants to beat the hell out of Zach. Zach just goes back and quietly and not for anyone to notices grabs Bree's hand.



Julie sent Mike to pick Susan up and she is so pissed of because of this. She goes into his car and tells him that she doesn't want to talk about it when he asks her what happened with the screwdriver. Mike is so relieved.



Gabrielle is talking with Carlos on the phone and tells him that at some point older people start to get confused and Juanita probably thought that she paid for blouse and there are no charges. She tells him that she will tell Juanita. Gabrielle tells her that Carlos won't be coming for dinner and she asks Juanita what will they be eating and she tells her that she is not hungry. Gabrielle starts going away but Juanita tells her that she needs to talk to her and it is very important. Gabrielle sits and starts listening to Juanita who is knitting something. Juanita tells her that she married Diego Solis when she was 16 years old. A few months into their marriage he started to beat her. She was so young and stupid that she didn't know what to do and she started praying to God to let her die but God in his infinite wisdom gave her a reason to live. Gabrielle knows that she is talking about Carlos. She tells her that he was a beautiful boy but Diego was a lousy father. He never held him and he would scream at him for no reason at all and then one night Diego Solis came home drunk and he beat her Carlos. Something inside of her snapped and she found a way to be strong and to make sure that Diego Solis never hurt her or Carlos ever again. Gabrielle wants to know what she did and she tells her that if you pray hard enough God gives you the tools to your salvation. (Camera is showing those big knitting needles that Juanita is using and she is making moves with them as almost she is stabbing someone). Gabrielle tells her that Carlos told her that Diego went away with some waitress. Juanita tells her that he was told that; all mothers now that they need to protect their children but some of them take their jobs more seriously then others. Gabrielle tells her that she doesn't know why she is telling her this and Juanita looks her and tells her that she knows and makes the needle move once again. (The needles are making the noise just like they are silently telling to Gabrielle "I will chop you into million little pieces when I find out.")



Mike dropped her off and tells him that he is sorry for not stopping her from going out with that guy. She tells him that she is not just mad at him but she is also mad at herself because she likes him so much and doesn't know anything about him. Mike asks her what does she wants to know and she asks him what his favorite food is and she tells her Mexican, she asks him what his favorite sport is and he tells her football and she asks him what his favorite band is and he tells her that it is Elvis Costello (that is the guy with the band) and she finally asks him what does she thinks of her and he kisses her and repeats the answer.



Bree goes over to Paul and Zach and she hears the fighting again and she has a doubt over knocking on the door or not until she hears something breaking inside. She knocks on the door and Zach open them and he seems very calm. She wants to know if everything is alright and he tells her that it is and that he will see her tomorrow. He closes the door and we see that Paul is on the floor with his lip bleeding.



"People by their very nature are always on the lookout for the intruders. (We see Wisteria Lane people patrolling the neighborhood). Trying to prevent those on the outside from getting in. (Twins are going wild in the school and they almost clash with Mr. Lenz and he sees Lynette and she just smiles and goes after her boys). But there will always be those who force their way into our lives (Gabrielle wants to do the yoga but she sees Juanita knitting and she loses the mood), just as there will be those we invite in. (Mike comes over with pizza and Susan and Julie lets him in). (Bree goes outside probably to tend to her lawn and we see Paul and Zach going away somewhere as Paul puts a bag in the trunk and Zach goes to sit in the car). But the most troubling of all will be the ones standing on the outside looking in…the ones we never truly get to know. (Paul and Zach drive away and Zach looks at Bree who is looking at him curiously but he just closes his car window)"



Written by vukcevic