Desperate Housewives

Mama Solis: (about Gabrielle possibly cheating on Carlos) Do you have any proof? Carlos: No, it's just a feeling. Mama Solis: I had that feeling about your father and that whore waitress and I was right. Always trust your feelings.

Susan: You remember that cop from the neighbourhood watch meeting the other night? He agreed to run a fingerprint check on the screwdriver I found at Mrs Fromme's house. Mike: He did? Nothing was taken. Susan: Still, somebody broke in, it is a crime. So the weird thing is, the cop asked me out. On a date. Mike: Oh? Susan: And I sort of said...yes. I was sort of curious what you thought about that. (Mike looks confused and uncomfortable to be talking about this) Mike: You're asking my permission to go out with him? Susan: No, no. I just uh, was wondering your opinion. Mike: I don't really have one. Susan: (disappointed) Okay. Great. Fine. Thank you. Mike: Susan, wait. Wait. I'm sorry. My life its just ah, really complicated right now- Susan: You don't have to explain. Mike: Susan! Susan: It's complicated. I get it.

(Gabrielle is on the porch, about to start yoga) Carlos: Do you have to do that now? My mother's here. Gabrielle: Hey, I'm not gonna stop my life just because she decides to show up unannounced I might add. Carlos: She's family. She doesn't need an invitation. Gabrielle: Yeah. Well. Whatever. It's rude. (Ignores him and starts her yoga)

Mary Alice: Every neighborhood has a woman like Alberta Fromme. And every woman like Mrs. Fromme has a cat. When she traveled Mrs. Fromme would arrange for friends to look after her beloved pet. This time, however, she was forced to ask her neighbor Susan Mayer. Mrs. Fromme liked Susan, but it was common knowledge on Wisteria Lane, where Susan Mayer went, bad luck was sure to follow. Her misfortunes ranged from the commonplace (Susan backs up her car, knocking down the trashcan), to the unusual (Susan leans against a table that has a wedding cake on it. The table collapses and so does she, landing on her front on the cake), to the truly bizarre (Susan puts birdseed in a bird feeder in her front lawn and a bird starts flying around her hair, refusing to leave). As she waved goodbye, she worried that Susan's streak of bad luck would continue. For that matter, so did her cat.

Susan: A guy just smiles at me three times and I'm picking out wedding china. I'm a mess. Lynette: But to be fair, that's part of your charm.

Bree: Rex. The truth is, with the kids gone, I'll be all by myself in this house for the first time in seventeen years. Rex: Honey, I know it's hard to hear, but the marriage counseling might not work out. You need to get used to being alone. Bree: You're right. That was hard to hear.

Bree: (to Zach) I love to try out new recipes before the holidays. That way if the cookbook has it wrong, I can fix it.

(About the person who broke into Mrs. Fromme's house) Bree: He could've been a sexual predator. Rex: And he ended up at Mrs. Fromme's? That's a lose-lose situation. Bree: Rex. That's not the point. The point is, I don't feel safe. And I was wondering if you could spend the night. Rex: You're in the NRA. You own like, four guns. If someone broke in, I'd expect you to protect me.

Lynette: You can tell them how beautifully behaved the twins are. Bree: So you want me to lie? Lynette: I thought that was understood.

Mike: Okay, I know you're mad at me and I'm sorry I didn't stop you from going out with that guy. Susan: I'm not mad at you. I mean I'm not just mad at you. I'm mostly mad at myself. Mike: Okay. Susan: I'm mad because I like you so much without really knowing anything about you. Mike: (smiles) Oh. What do you want to know? Susan: What's your favourite food? Mike: Mexican. Susan: What's your favourite sport? Mike: Football. Susan: Favourite band? Mike: Elvis Costello. Susan: That's a guy not a band. Mike: It's a guy with a band. Susan: What do you think of me? (Mike ponders for a few seconds and then leans into her kissing Susan slowly and softly) Susan: (blissfully) I'm sorry, could you repeat that?

Mary Alice Young: People by their very nature are always on the lookout for intruders. Trying to prevent those on the outside from getting in. But there will always be those who force their way into our lives, just as there will be those we invite in...but the most troubling of all, will be the ones who stand on the outside looking in. The ones we never truly get to know.