Susan: "Have you ever looked in your mirror, Edie? You're famous for the number of me you've conquered."
Edie: "Thank you."
Susan: "It's not a compliment, you tramp."
Just what the doctor ordered – a good old fashioned spat between Susan and Edie. It nicely reminds you of the first three seasons but mainly, it's a moment that raises some interesting questions about both women's attitudes towards men.
To start off, neither of them really have the right approach but over the course of the hour some progress is actually made for each character, so hopefully them being locked down a basement and trading insults will have ended up being worth it.
Edie opened the episode by calling all of her friends and telling them that's she broken up with Dave. She's done this kind of thing before when Karl cowardly dumped her back in the second season and with Edie, there seems to be a horrible consistency – she ends up with men who don't love her.
It explains her somewhat abrasive attitude but at least she thought she had the support of Lynette, Bree, Gabby and Susan. To be fair, given how hot and cold these four tend to be with her, I'm not surprised that a few seconds of sympathy would then be replaced by their focus on something else.
For this, the blame can be attributed to Susan. Not exactly strong on tact herself, Susan invalidates Edie's latest break up by telling everyone that she plans to move away with Jackson. Naturally everyone else is delighted for her while Edie sits there feeling like a lemon.
I know the writers do portray Edie as somewhat cold but I felt sorry for her during this scene. Unlike Susan, whose constant need for validation from the opposite sex has become somewhat wearing, Edie had a genuine problem and once again, everyone else dismissed it for the latest episode in Susan's ongoing soap opera.
Of course Edie's not the kind of person to let her anger simmer. Nope, instead she makes a point of ignoring Susan in front of Andrew and Alex and when Susan continues to pester her, Edie doesn't hold back on the sarcastic comments and Edie can certainly spew them out when she's livid.
Being locked in a basement with Susan is a good opportunity for Edie to let loose on her rival too. First she rightly lays into Susan for killing her big news by dithering on about moving with Jackson. Susan doesn't do herself any favours by refusing to see the validity in Edie's reasons to ditch Dave.
Here's the thing – Edie's reasons are somewhat good. Dave did lie to her about being married and his behaviour is erratic, so she's justified in perhaps wanting to ditch him. After all, if Dave filled her on his real reasons for moving to Wisteria Lane, she'd be calling the cops on him as well as a divorce lawyer.
Susan however is a little too self-involved to get that so Edie has her own way of getting back at her. Last week, Susan told Lee that she couldn't live without a man and thanks to a list, Edie presented evidence on that established fact. Of course, Susan isn't best pleased with having her dating prowess called into question so she takes some shots at Edie's love them and leave them approach.
Now the big question is – which dynamic is worse? If you're Edie and use men like tissues, you're going to end being a very lonely individual but you're Susan and you can't function without having a relationship, is that any better? Edie's attitude might not be great but at least she shows more ease and acceptance within herself. Susan on the other hand not so much.
The funniest part about this whole thing is that when Edie tells Susan about how selfish her father had been to her, Susan starts welling like a sap. It's a great moment for the two of them to trade a slap and a push but when they get rescued, Susan is threatened never to reveal that secret of Edie's.
The resolution however for Susan is more satisfying. She decides not to move in with Jackson and calls time on their relationship. Having Susan go through a few episodes where her love life isn't detrimental would actually be nice but given that Gale Harold is coming back; I can't see her and Jackson being separated for too long.
Unfortunately for Edie by being open and taking Dave back in, she's set herself up for a fall. After all, she's only a beard for Dave's mad scheme to exact revenge on Mike. Let's face it, Dave didn't even make the effort to try and fix his marriage, although deep down he probably assumed that Edie would take him back.
Before that though, he did end up staying with Mike for a bit. Mike's easy acceptance of him due to the fire incident would be sweet if we didn't know that Dave was after him but at least this episode did offer some male bonding.
Dave was in the lucky position to find out that Mike really does care for Katherine and when Mike used a romantic gesture to stop her from moving to Baltimore, it instantly became clear that Katherine should watch her back. I don't really care about Mike and Katherine as a couple but unlike a lot of other viewers; it's still not angering or boring me as a plot device.
One plot device that is interesting is the dynamic between Alex and Bree. Given that his porn past and trailer trash mum didn't put Bree off him, there would have to be something that would. There's no way that Alex would go by without doing something to tick off his mother in law.
Like with the Robert/Nora spat in the Brothers And Sisters episode "Book Burning", I have to admit to taking the side of Alex. After all, there's a difference between gentle teasing and just being plain disrespectful to your spouse and Bree certainly veered into the latter category.
Maybe Orson is one of those unfortunately saps that irritating sales companies take for a mug but surely Bree could've been a bit diplomatic. Perhaps it wasn't Alex's place to tell her to lay off teasing Orson but it's hardly the worst thing he could've said and obviously given how both Orson and Andrew reacted, it was clear that Alex had raised a good point.
Of course Bree didn't see it that and tried to make a point of it during the barbeque. Throwing in the house offer would've given Bree some moral high ground if her motives for acquiring the home hadn't been selfishly motivated. She was after all trying to get one over Melina by doing that.
The best part of this episode is that Andrew refused to get involved between his fiancé and his mother's disagreement. I'm really glad because not do I side with Alex but Andrew raised the point that Bree does have to deal with people disagreeing with her, which is only fair.
However instead of starting a feud with Alex, Bree decided to be the bigger woman and admit that she can be something of a shrew. Plus she gives him something that possibly every son in law could hope for – carte blanche to call her out on her crap whenever needed. Carte blanche is also something Gabby gave to a complete stranger when disciplining her bratty kids this week. With Carlos back at work, Juanita and Celia's idea of hell is being stuck with Gabby for a prolonged time period. Of course, seeing as they take after their mother, there are ways of dealing with that.
Firstly when Gabby asks you to do something, Juanita and Celia respond by a) not doing it and b) telling Gabby that they love Carlos more as a parent. Okay, even I felt tremendously sorry for Gabby there and while she shouldn't really use outside force to get her kids to behave, it did make for a funny scene.
Besides all Reggie did was use a loud voice to get them to put their toys away and while Carlos finally got why Gabby needed him to back her up, things more or less resolved themselves. Overall, while Gabby's hardly mum of the year, her methods were tame compared to the usual crazy hi-jinks she pulls to get her own way.
Speaking of crazy hi-jinks, Lynette's certainly form herself. This week she scares the holy crap out of Stella and Porter by using a car crash to get them to the hospital. Needless to say, she's fine but it does take her a while to get Porter to turn himself in. Personally I'm relieved this plot has ended. I really didn't want to have to go through weeks of the Scavos looking for Porter.
More interesting however was the Stella and Lynette stuff. Stella might have had a right to be furious with Lynette but using Porter to hurt her was just plain wrong. There are some really terrific moments between Felicity Huffman and Polly Bergin and while it's nice that Lynette and Stella have seemingly made amends, can we please see the woman again?
Also in "Connect! Connect!"
The opening scene just showed Dave from losing his wife and daughter to losing the plot to marrying Edie in five easy steps.
Edie (to Susan, re Dave): "It is when you don't tell them about it. Especially when I laid out my entire history."
Gabrielle: "Emphasis on the word, "laid"."
Edie: "See! Gabby gets it."
Edie's phone call skills are brilliant. Four minutes later you have four relatively eager people to commiserate with you.
Katherine (to Dave, re Mike's rose): "On second thoughts, I'm sure he won't even notice it's gone."
Juanita: "Why can't Daddy work here?"
Gabrielle: "Because Daddy has a new job. He's gonna make us a lot of money."
Juanita: "We don't need lots of money."
Gabrielle: "Hey, what did I say about that kind of language?"
The actor, who played Reggie, played Clancy in Boston Legal. More ABC recycling I see and I mean that in a nice way.
Susan: "Did you not hear me?"
Edie: "I heard you. Why do you think I kept on walking?"
Juanita: "You're never gonna make it."
Gabrielle: "Oh yes I will. My rage is fuelling me in ways you can't imagine."
Parker made a brief appearance in this episode only to get antagonised by a pensioner who thinks that Porter's got a face you want to slap.
Edie: "Have you ever in your whole life been without a man?"
Susan: "Of course I have."
Stella: "That was a rotten thing, Lynette. I thought you were dead."
Lynette: "Yeah, well I learned from the best."
We learned in this episode that Glen passed away and Stella's drinking got out of control so Lynette put her in a nursing home.
Mike: "I think I might be falling for Katherine."
Dave: "Did you just use the "L" word?"
Orson (to Bree): "Oh, don't worry. I'm sure you won't upset me."
Alex: "I think she was referring to me."
Dylan and her baby got mentioned in this episode again. It's almost like she's used to question Katherine's relevance to Wisteria Lane at different times.
Susan: "I wouldn't trade places with you and you want to know why?"
Edie: "No, but we're trapped in here, so knock yourself out."
Susan (after being slapped): "Edie, what the hell?"
Edie: "Don't psychoanalyse me you sap. I was trying to tell you how selfish men are."
I thought Edie grew up without a father. That's what she told everyone back in "That's Good, That's Bad". Speaking of her family, will we ever see Travers again?
Reggie (re Juanita/Celia): "When they're done, do you want me to make them vacuum?"
Gabrielle: "If you wouldn't mind."
Edie (re her secret): "Good because I'll deny it if you do."
Susan: "I won't."
The end scene of this episode had Bree/Alex choosing colour samples, Susan on her own, Gabby/Carlos disciplining the kids and Lynette/Stella drinking.
Bree: "I need someone to speak up, to call me out when I cross that line and I'd like that person to be you."
Alex: "Did my mother in law give me permission to criticise her?"
Chronology: The same night as the end part of "Home Is The Place".
One of the most liveliest episodes of the series, "Connect! Connect!" is certainly a great episode for all of the main ladies but seriously, the Susan and Edie stuff just stole the entire episode.