Dave (to Dr Heller): "You don't know what you're talking about. I'm getting away with this."
Lila: "Why would you want to? I don't mean to criticise but I thought you were doing this for us."
It's become tradition with ABC that along with fellow big hitter, Lost that this show also bows out with a two part finale with both episodes airing on the same night. Thankfully with two individual titles, it also makes it easier to review individually rather than in just one big go.
Dave's plans are finally in action and all he wants to do is kill a little boy to make the woman who destroyed his family suffer a thousand fold. Dave explains this on tape in a bizarre attempt to justify his actions but actually getting Susan to go away with him has been more difficult than he expected.
In fact Susan seemed more suspicious of him wanting to take her and MJ away for the weekend that I had to admire her. She and Dave have barely had a friendship at all during the season, so she should be a little suspicious about his sudden interest in her but a lot of her rejecting his offer has more to do with Jackson.
Susan moping over yet another relationship being flushed down the toilet is hardly something worth caring about. Her and Jackson's wedding would've been a sham and at the end of the day, Dave might have done her a favour in a completely unusual way. Not that Jackson would see things like that if he didn't think Dave was the nicest guy ever.
With this finale finally here, it was about time that the cops would get a better clue about Dave being involved in Dr Heller's death. We finally got an ID on the body, his secretary told them about the texts she was receiving and Jackson even mentioned that he saw Dave coming out of the storage minutes before the nightclub went on fire. All we needed now was either Bob or Tom to let slip that Dave blatantly lied about seeing Porter when he didn't and we probably should've gotten them, given that Karen and Roberta got very much pulled back into the mystery. It might have been half a season but Roberta and Karen are still fun to watch again.
Instead Dave had to stew with Susan telling him to get lost and also got taunted by a few familiar faces. Having Dr Heller, Lila and Edie all make their own opinions known about Dave's plans going arseways was a decent scene if not as spectacular as it could've been. I think out of the three of them, Lila might have had the most perceptive comments. Did Dave really want to get away with hurting Susan?
If so, he might not have opted to attempt to shoot MJ in broad daylight. It was lucky that Susan actually told Dave that she wanted to get away for the weekend. However Dave giving Mike his little video message really made no sense. Why on Earth would he do that, if there was a possibility that Mike would be able to stop him?
Speaking of Mike, really not nice to know that this show's least anticipated nuptials are still going ahead. Just about no-one (and this is something that both James Denton and Dana Delany have even admitted in recent reviews), cares about Mike and Katherine as a couple but having Jackson convinced that Mike was the one who called immigration.
It does make more sense for Jackson to accuse Mike of doing this, due to the simple that he thought more highly of Dave and also because he was unaware that Dave knew about him being Canadian. I liked that Susan didn't go in there guns blazing and she was probably right not to tell Mike about Katherine pretending that he'd agree to keep paying alimony but still?
There were some interesting moments with Mike and Susan that would heavily suggest a reunion between the two of them. Katherine even admitted herself that Mike still seemed hung up on Susan and that Susan didn't seem to love Jackson. Here's a thought Katherine, cut the apron strings and try to find someone who actually does love.
I could apply the same advice to Orson. When your wife stages a burglary, is seen with a well know divorce lawyer, tells you that she wants out of the marriage and doesn't love you and seems unshakeable in changing her mind, it's a brilliant hint to just leave her.
Orson however suffers from the same sickness that Katherine, Edie and various other characters have on this show. He decided to stay with Bree and even threatened to send her to jail if she pursued the divorce. Well she did force him to go to jail and there is an interesting little thing called karma. Knowing Bree, she'll find some way of wrangling out of their failing marriage but she might want to act quickly before Orson really does get on a roll. She and Karl certainly seem to have something going on between them, in spite of her insistence that he generally repulses her. You say that now, Bree but what about in the next hour? Will Karl still be as vile in your eyes?
Elsewhere Lynette learned that sometimes sabotaging one of Tom's insane ideas isn't always the best thing to do. To be fair, when he said he wanted to go back to college to study Chinese, I didn't exactly jump for joy either but when he explained his business reasons for doing it, I actually felt a touch sorry for him. Why couldn't we have had those explanations earlier in the episode and have Lynette support him? It would've made a nice change.
Speaking of change, we finally got to meet some of Carlos's other family and as a result, he got foistered into looking after his niece/cousin Ana, even though Gabby tried to wriggle out of it. The fact that we suddenly more family stuff with Solises is certainly a highlight in the episode but here's hoping the writers can do something original with Ana when she appears in the next episode.
Also in "Everybody Says Don't"
Is it me or did the writers go overkill in making MJ look a little too cutesy for this episode? We didn't need that to be any more disgusted with Dave's plan to kill him.
Dave: "I didn't want to kill MJ Delfino, I had to. Susan Mayer killed my wife and daughter. Police called it an accident but I don't believe a person who takes two innocent lives should be allowed to walk away."
There was already an episode in Season Two called, Everybody Says Don't" so it's bizarre that we've got another episode with the same title.
Gabrielle (to Juanita): "Honey, you're six now so I think it's time we had a mother-daughter talk. Your father's side of the family are trash, any questions?"
Bree: "I'm so glad this divorce is almost over. An obnoxious, unpleasant man will be out of my life and so will Orson."
Karl: "Hey, it's not over yet. We've still got a couple of hurdles."
Karl talked about setting up with Bree with some potential suitors. Underneath the sleazy bravado, I get the impression that he does like her himself.
Lynette (to Bree): "That's your advice? Hope an opportunity just drops in my lap? I might as well start shopping for beekeepers suits."
Orson: "I don't want a divorce."
Bree: "Well, that part's not negotiable."
Orson: "Can we at least talk about this?"
I loved that we got a reverse scene of "The Story Of Lucy And Jessie" with Orson telling Bree to sit down and explain her crimes.
Juanita: "Aunt Connie seems nice. Maybe she's changed."
Gabrielle: "Trash doesn't change, sweetheart. She's up to something. Now, come on, let's go get a lawn chair before we're stuck on the grass with fire ants."
Bree: "You would actually send your wife to prison?"
Orson: "My wife, no. My ex-wife, you bet. But it won't come to that, darling. I know we can get back to what we once both had."
Bree: "That will never happen."
So what exactly is up with Ana that Connie had to 'trick' Gabby and Carlos into taking her in? Is she next season's mystery?
Edie: "Isn't it better that Susan knows why her son had to die. I mean, the whole point is to make her suffer, right?"
Dave: "That's true."
Edie: "And then the whole world will finally understand what you've been going through."
Karen: "I'd feel better if we had proof."
Roberta: "And I'd feel better if I had a functioning liver but sometimes you gotta play the hand you're dealt."
Chronology: Still a few days since "Marry Me A Little".
As a start episode for the finale, "Everybody Says Don't" is decent enough. There's enough going to keep things interesting but finally putting this Dave story to rest will the best thing all round.
Rating: 8 out of 10.