Desperate Housewives

Season 5 Episode 11

Home Is The Place

Aired Sunday 9:00 PM Jan 04, 2009 on ABC



  • Trivia

  • Quotes

    • Susan: I need a man in my life!
      Lee: Why? We're so useless.

    • Mary Alice: (closing voiceover): Everyone needs a lovely home in suburbia. Mostly so the neighbors will never suspect what's going on inside. Behind these freshly painted walls you will find parents wracked with guilt, wives tired of struggling, lovers who have been lied to. Yes. Everybody needs a lovely home in suburbia, if for no other reason than to have a place to come home to.

    • Susan: So nothing happened between us?
      Lee: Hello? Gay? Listening to opera in a kimono? What more do you need to know?

    • Gabrielle: (to Bradley) So is eyecare included in the health plan? 'Cause that's obviously a big issue for Carlos.

    • Bradley: Just taking care of my kids.
      Maria: Yeah, I've got a picture of them in my purse. Want to see how many of them you can name?
      Bradley: More wine Maria?

    • Bree: Did it occur to you that I might want to sit next to the boys?
      Melina: Did it occur to you that I already called it?
      Orson: (to Bree) She did. She called it. Why don't you sit here Bree?
      Bree: Guess who just called the burnt lamb chop?

    • Melina: Bree, are you sure there isn't anything I can do to help? I'm just standing here with my thumb up my butt.
      Bree: No help needed, certainly nothing that would require your thumb.

    • Lee: (in the gay club, to Susan) Uh oh. Scary guy's coming over. I have to throw him off the scent. Do you mind if I grab one of your boobs?

    • Orson: (to Bree) Please. No-one's better at plastering on a fake smile and pretending to like someone than Bree Hodge.

    • Orson: I know Melina isn't what we hoped for but lets face it, in-laws rarely are. Need I remind you of my mother?
      Bree: Well, at least Gloria had the good taste to have a paralysing stroke so we don't have to deal with her.
      Orson: True. That was a merry Christmas.

    • (Bree is ironing a tablecloth.)
      Orson: What's all this?
      Bree: Oh Andrew thought it would be nice to have a formal dinner tomorrow night.
      Orson: Well if it's a formal dinner why aren't we using your grandmother's tablecloth?
      Bree: For Melina? She'd probably blow her nose on it. No, I will not let that woman defile Nana's lace.

    • Lee: (to Susan) Alright, alright. Meet me at my house at nine. And you might want to pile on the make-up. Drag queens get their first drink free.

    • Susan: Can I go clubbing with you tonight?
      Lee: Over-played Mayer.

    • Susan: If you're interested I have dirt on Bree.
      Lee: Go on.
      Susan: Aha! You're no better than I am.
      Lee: Nicely played Mayer.
      Susan: Thank you.

    • Bob: I've got a deposition to prep for.
      Lee: Then I will go clubbing without you and I will be wearing my 'not coming home alone' jeans.
      Bob: By wearing you mean squeezing into?

    • Mary Alice: (voiceover) Yes. There are important events in the history of every family. Meeting the in-laws is one. The moment you decide to hate them is another.

    • Melina: (to Bree) I called Christmas fair and square and I want to spend it with my son. So if you go to the boys and try and screw me over, I'll remember that for a really long time.

    • Melina: (to Bree) You know what they say in a bad economy, the mature cocktail waitress is the first to go.

  • Notes

    • International Episode Titles:
      France: Belles-Familles, Je Vous Hais (Step-Families, I Hate You)
      Germany: Ein Schönes Zuhause (A Beautiful Home)
      Hungary: Otthon, Édes Otthon (Home, Sweet Home)
      Italy: Un Posto Chiamato Casa (A Place Called Home)
      Czech Republic: Každý potřebuje domov (Everyone Needs Home)

    • Although credited, Dana Delany (Katherine Mayfair), James Denton (Mike Delfino) and Joshua Logan Moore (Parker Scavo) are absent from this episode.

  • Allusions

    • Episode Title: "Home is the Place" is from a very rare non-show song written by Stephen Sondheim (with music by Jule Styne) which was for a Tony Bennett album in 1968.

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