Desperate Housewives

Season 4 Episode 4

If There's Anything I Can't Stand

Aired Sunday 9:00 PM Oct 21, 2007 on ABC
out of 10
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364 votes

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Episode Summary

Wisteria Lane welcomes a gay couple to the street, and unfortunately for them, the first neighbor to greet them is Susan Mayer. Edie is shocked when she receives some news at the gynecologist's office. Gabrielle goes with Lynette to the wig store and ends up giving her useful tips to improve her sex life. The girls throw Bree a surprise baby shower and thanks to Andrew, Bree's ex-mother-in-law Phyllis (guest star Shirley Knight) is among the invitees.moreless

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  • another good episode of desperate housewives 4th season

    this was another really great episode from season 4 of desperate housewives with some really great storylines

    It was funny to have philyls back she is such a entertaining character, but i did feel avit sorry for her at the end

    susan trying to impress the gay guys were also really funny i like theese new characters i think wisteria lane needed a gay couple lynettes storyline was also funny but quite sad and emotinal at the end

    gaby a a good storyline this weeks i thought the scene were she was trying to put the medication on victor was really funny

    overall a great weekmoreless
  • Season 4, Episode 4.

    Wisteria Lane welcomes a gay couple to the street, and unfortunately for them, the first neighbor to greet them is Susan Mayer. Edie is shocked when she receives some news at the gynecologist's office. Gabrielle goes with Lynette to the wig store and ends up giving her useful tips to improve her sex life. The girls throw Bree a surprise baby shower and thanks to Andrew, Bree's ex-mother-in-law Phyllis (guest star Shirley Knight) is among the invitees. I loved the whole Susan thing with the dog and the yellow paint. Edie has crabs! She gave them to Carlos, who gave them to Gabby, who gave them to Victor! Yikes! ... Great storyline with Bree, also. =]moreless
  • Lies, lies, lies...

    Its a wonder an alternative title for this show isnt Sex and Lies because that is all that is featured with a mix of mystery - which is why I love Desperate Housewives so much! Carlos and Gaby's secret affair encounters more twists and turns when Edie is diagnosed with crabs. Only trouble can ensue when Carlos obviously has it and seeing Victor scratch his 'balls' during a speech, the star-crossed lovers discover Gaby must have it as well. It all comes to a head when Edie sussses out the affair when she smells the 'shampoo' on Victor and figures it out! Dun, dun, dun!!!!

    Meanwhile, Wisteria Lane welcomes a gay couple to the street, and unfortunately for them, the first neighbor to greet them is Susan Mayer. Lynette uses a wig to improve her sex life but Tom gets too attached. The girls throw Bree a surprise baby shower and thanks to Andrew, Bree's ex-mother-in-law Phyllis is among the invitees and discovers Bree's secret. Will she tell?

    Keep the laughs coming writers!moreless
  • Totally Funny, but poor Susan!

    What I mean is, that it was painful to watch how hard Susan was trying to be friends with the new neighbours! I was laughing at least 10 Minues after there first dialogue. "so there are 3 of you? that will be cozy!" or sth. like that. Great addition to the Wisteria Lane btw. Brees Baby Shower gave potential to more drama, obviously. I'm curious in which way Phyllis is going to use Danielle against her mother. Lynette had to deal with a different problem and it's great how the writers show that Tom isn't really to blame for his feelings. In my opinion it's too often that way: She's the one with cancer, so evrything is concentrated on her and the husband just has to be the great "evrything is going to be fine"-guy, you know? and that's sth. this show wasn't doing and I think that's great. Okay so really good ep., but I really hate the Gaby-Carlos-Bree-Viktor-Sotryline!!!moreless
  • Pests Written by Alexandria Cunningham And Lori Kirkland Baker Directed by Larry Shaw

    Bree: "You hated your mother"

    Phyllis: "But I loved that coat"

    Bree: "Then I'll give it back to you".

    The thing about pests is that when you seem to have finally gotten yourself rid of one, another one shows up. It also doesn't help that the other one is even more of a nuisance than the previous one. This week everyone seems to have their pests to deal with.

    For Bree, she should consider herself to be her own personal pest at times. Instead of dealing with idle chatter about Danielle becoming a mother at seventeen, Bree is more content with letting everyone else think she's knocked up instead. Showing that she has learnt absolutely nothing from last week, Bree continues to draw attention to herself.

    When her friends want to throw her a baby shower, Bree reacts as if a bus just flattened her. Bree is almost successful in getting out of the shower until Andrew gets the women onside. The shower itself wouldn't be so bad if one of the guests invited didn't happen to be Phyllis.

    Yes Rex's dreadful mother is back and two years later, she's still hostile towards Bree. Most people would attempt to make nice but Phyllis is more happy to accuse Bree of trying to forget Rex. I can't blame Bree for being irritated. I know Phyllis might possibly have Rex's feelings in mind but mainly she was just stirring it.

    Worse still is that Phyllis then acts as if it's Bree's fault for everything. Bree does have good reason to hate Phyllis and the old bat did herself no favours here. Heck, Bree reminded Phyllis that Rex found her overbearing. Maybe Bree and Phyllis have more in common after all.

    Anyways there had to be an actual point for Phyllis's return and having her be the one to discover that Bree has been faking her pregnancy was reasonable enough. I thought it would have been Katherine but Phyllis could be just as effective too. She certainly the look of victory when she found the pregnancy pads.

    Andrew was a bit of a tool for allowing Phyllis to go up in Bree's room but it's not like he actually intended for Bree's secret to be outed. He might have been annoyed that Bree didn't let him keep the scooter that Phyllis had bought for Danielle but he wasn't that annoyed by it.

    Still Bree had a lot of explaining to do and didn't she just cave in a bit too quickly? I mean not only did she tell Phyllis it was Danielle who was really pregnant but she was even stupid enough to tell Phyllis where Danielle was staying. I mean, come on, that was really stupid on Bree's part.

    The thing is both Bree and Phyllis are motivated by second chances in this episode. Bree explains that she wants to raise a child right and Phyllis is also looking to redeem herself. Bree has no right to use Danielle's baby for her aim and Phyllis seems more determined to get one up on Bree when she visits Danielle. Bree more or less shot herself in the foot in this episode. If Phyllis wasn't bothered with outing Bree's secret to a crowd, it's probably because she can manipulate Danielle into keeping the baby to spite her mother. Bree had better consider herself lucky that Orson and Andrew (to an extent) are on her side.

    Bree isn't the only character who does herself in for stupidity this week either. There's Carlos and Gabrielle who are still screwing around. Worse still is that the both of them have managed to give Edie and Victor a good old fashioned set of crabs due to their antics.

    Edie manages to think that she passed it onto Carlos and Carlos isn't very eager to correct her mistake. I get why but this story really does him no favours either. Gabrielle is pretty pissed off to being infected but her method of curing Victor is novel to say the least. Basically Gabrielle uses foreplay to put lotion on him but Gabrielle comes across as being that creepy bloke from Silence Of The Lambs rather than the sex nurse she's intending to be. Let's just say that Gabrielle doesn't have a future in the porn industry but she does generate some suspicion from Victor.

    I guess the best thing about this plot is that Edie gets a clue that Carlos and Gabrielle are at it all because she smelled the lotion on Victor. Anything that will see the end of this plot should be applauded but given the fact that the last bloke who screwed over had Edie resorting to arson, I'd hate to think how she'll deal with Carlos and Gabrielle.

    Still at least Susan's great big problems are small in comparison to Gabrielle's imminent ones. All Susan has to worry is her lack of tact and amazing stupidity. I know Susan has been pretty good for a long while but the arrival of Bob and Lee ensures that she slips up big time.

    Remember in Season Two when Susan was like totally stupid? Well she tops herself by trying to be politically correct when she discovers that Bob and Lee are actually gay and a couple. Lee is quick to point out that Susan thinks in stereotypes and her incessant bumbling only makes Lee more right in the matter.

    Because of her disasters, Susan seems to be on a mission to have all her neighbours like her. It's a fair enough thing and her reasons why to Mike are fine too. However whatever possessed her into thinking that keeping Bob and Lee's dog Raphael hostage so that she could look like a hero is beyond me.

    Julie told her that it was a nutty plan and Susan should know by now to listen to her daughter. For a brief moment when she pretended to look for the dog, Lee was starting to warm to her. When Raphael then covered Bob's suit in yellow paint, Susan made herself even more loathed than when she started off with.

    You can say that Lee was being unreasonable with Susan at the start anyway. Susan isn't homophobic, just stupid and if Lee hadn't been too busy trying to shoot her down, he might have seen that she wasn't that bad. If Susan also refrained from lying too, that would've also been a great help.

    Mike had a good reason to be pissed at Susan. If she wanted Lee to like her she could've just waited until he returned, handed over Raphael and credited it Julie for finding him. That bit of truth might have gotten her some respect from Lee. The guy doesn't seem to like people who lie or act stupid.

    Bob and Lee on a whole are fine. Both Tuc Watkins and Kevin Rahm are nice looking men and both of them can act. It's nice that while Lee is catty, he doesn't come across as being a stereotype (no Sean from Coronation Street here). Bob seems to be the more level headed one of the bunch. Here's hoping that we get a few snogging scenes and some proper development too.

    Elsewhere Lynette and Tom are the other couple piquing interest this week as they try to resume their sex life. Sadly Lynette's wig keeps falling off and Tom can't maintain interest. Lynette's not exactly one to lay there so she takes up Gabby's decision to spice up the wigs and Tom's cheerleader fantasies get fulfilled. Of course Tom does get a little too into and eventually manages to piss Lynette off. Well it was her who opened this little Pandora's box.

    One of the best things of this episode is the conversation that leads to Lynette and Tom getting their sex life back on track. Tom was right to mention that he was affected by Lynette's cancer and it's nice that Lynette did take his feelings on board. Still I refuse to believe that Lynette will die. The writers wouldn't dare, would they?

    Last but not least Katherine finds herself away from the other wives this week to tend to her dying Aunt Lillian. Don't you just hate it when characters are so blatantly brought back for the soul purpose of dying? That's really the only successful function of Lillian in this episode.

    I know she feels tremendous guilt for Dylan and tried to tell the girl some home truths before Katherine's intervention but the dying was a little too convenient for my liking. What are the odd that the letter Lillian left for Dylan before she snuffed will be found by Katherine? Much as I like Dylan, Lyndsey Fonseca who plays hasn't really impressed me yet with her performances. Dylan's passiveness with Katherine feels like a redux of Zach and Paul in Season One. We could've used Julie for one scene with Dylan in this episode. Dylan might become more proactive with Julie around because whatever really happened, Katherine is still determined not to spill anything. I thought at one point she was fit to kill Lillian. Katherine certainly has that dark side to her down to a tee so killing to protect her secret wouldn't feel implausible.

    Also in "If There's Anything I Can't Stand"

    We're still in short credits mode. Why are ABC doing this again?

    Katherine: "What does it feel like? Dying, I mean"

    Lillian: "It isn't that bad. I feel lucky".

    Katherine had Lillian in the same room she tried to hide from Dylan. Lillian witnessed whatever happened in that room.

    Bob: "Need some help?"

    Lee: "Like you wouldn't believe".

    Tom: "Are you sure you wanna take that off honey? Won't your head get cold?"

    Lynette: "No, I'm good".

    What exactly does Bob do for a living? Does Lee work as well?

    Bree (re the scooter): "I'm not giving her the scooter. Can you think of a worse present to give to a pregnant girl?"

    Andrew: "I'm not knocked up. Let me have it".

    Gabrielle (to Victor): "For a guy who's getting rubbed on by a hot nurse you ask a lot of questions".

    Orson was hysterical riding the bike and then crashing it. Top comic moment for Kyle McLachlan.

    Andrew (to Bree): "Bet you wished I had broken my neck now".

    Phyllis: "If you didn't want to talk, then why did you invite me?"

    Bree: "It's a surprise party you daft woman. What makes you think I had a hand in the guest list?"

    Shouldn't Bree have locked her room in case anyone went upstairs anyway? It would've been a smarter thing to have done.

    Bree: "Think of Danielle"

    Phyllis: "I wish you had".

    Bree: "Thank you for the gift"

    Phyllis: "You know Bree; you're not the only one who wants a second chance".

    Did Lynette actually call herself a cancer **** during her conversation with Tom in the bedroom? If so, then that is very Celia Hodes of her.

    Susan (re Bob/Lee): "I just wanted them to like me"

    Mike: "Well they don't. Lee also said that six times".

    Chronology: About a month since "Now You Know".

    Not as strong as the previous three instalments but "If There's Anything I Can't Stand" does gain points for the balanced portrayal of Bob and Lee and for someone catching Bree out. Katherine's mystery retains interest but hopefully bigger clues are on the way.moreless
Ellen Geer

Ellen Geer

Lillian Sims

Guest Star

Allen Williams

Allen Williams

Dr. Claude Kyl

Guest Star

Sean Blodgett

Sean Blodgett

Delivery man

Guest Star

John Slattery

John Slattery

Victor Lang

Recurring Role

Tuc Watkins

Tuc Watkins

Bob Hunter

Recurring Role

Kevin Rahm

Kevin Rahm

Lee McDermott

Recurring Role

Trivia, Notes, Quotes and Allusions


  • TRIVIA (3)

    • Goof: When Gabrielle finishes rubbing the lotion on Victor's body, she grabs a razor, we can see that her hand doesn't have the lotion residuals on it, and she didn't seem to wipe her hand off before grabbing the razor, nor there was anything around her to wipe it off with.

    • Goof: Susan would probably not be able to have heard Lee McDermott outside while he was looking for Raphael, as she was in a room full of people and he was far away from Bree's house.

    • Goof: When Susan goes in to the new neighbors' house you can see how the inside seems completely in the dark before the door is open. However, when the door is opened the room is suddenly completely bright.

  • QUOTES (16)

    • Mike: Why do you have to take our new neighbours cookie bars?
      Susan: Oh, look, I made a terrible first impression. So I thought I would make them some of my home-baked goodness.
      Mike: But you didn't bake any goodness, you just warmed up the goodness I bought at the store.
      Susan: Well, yeah, I don't bake. Catch up.
      Mike: You know, not all neighbours have to be friends. Why don't you just let it go?
      Susan: Mike, they live fifteen feet from us. If we have a fire I want to be sure that they like us enough to call 911.
      Mike: Ah, that's the real reason. You can't stand it when somebody doesn't like you.
      Susan: Well, maybe.
      Mike: Well, maybe Bob and Lee just like to keep to themselves.
      Susan: That's fine, and once they like me they can keep to themselves all they damn well please.

    • (Danielle got a scooter as a present from Phyllis)
      Bree: I'm not giving it to her. Can you think of a worst present for a pregnant girl?
      Andrew: I'm not knocked up. Let me have it!

    • Mike: Dammit, Susan, let it go. All right? I asked you to, and you didn't. So I'm gonna ask you again. Please, let it go.

    • Gabrielle: It's kind of exciting though.
      Carlos: What is?
      Gabrielle: Playing with fire almost getting burned but not quite.
      Carlos: Don't be thinking like that, if Victor catches us he'll kill us both.
      Gabrielle: (whispering) That's what so exciting.

    • Susan: I need to score some points with those guys when being the dog-rescuing hero could be just the kick-in.
      Julie: So what? You're just gonna keep him here until they come back?
      Susan: Uh huh, maybe a little longer.
      Julie: How long?
      Susan: Long enough for them to worry. You know, the more they worry, the more I'm a hero, get it?
      Julie: I get that you're insane.
      Susan: I'm not, I'm not. Now give me some mud, I wanna dirty him up so he looks like he's been through hell!

    • Phyllis: Every time I start to chat, you walk away. I mean, if you don't want to talk to me, why did you invite me?
      Bree: It's a surprise party you daft woman! What makes you think I had a hand in the guest list?

    • Phyllis: I can't tell you how touched I was to feel included, especially after my many conciliatory gestures were so coldly rebuffed.
      Bree: I have been awful. I wouldn't blame you if you stormed out right now!

    • Bree: I just think it's tacky to have a baby shower when it's not your first baby.
      Susan: Well, I don't see a problem with it, hint, hint.
      (They smile.)
      Lynette: Yeah, and showers aren't just about presents, they're fun.
      Gabrielle: Yeah, we can play games, like how big is mommy's tummy.
      Bree: Excuse me?
      Gabrielle: Yeah, we get a ball of yarn and we each cut a piece that we think is big enough to fit around your stomach, and the one closest wins a prize.
      Bree: (pauses) I really don't want a shower. (smiles)

    • Gabrielle: You're still sleeping with Edie?
      Carlos: You're still sleeping with Victor, aren't you?
      Gabrielle: If I didn't he would think something is going on, what is your excuse for doing it with Edie?
      Carlos: Because she wants to and I'm a guy!

    • Lynette: I'm a cancer bitch!

    • Susan: Hi, I wanted to bring you a welcome-to-the-neighborhood present. You should try one while they're still warm from the oven.
      Lee: That was really nice. Thank you. Oh, are there nuts in them?
      Susan: Nuts?
      Lee: Yeah.
      Susan: Gee, let me think. (pauses to think if there are any nuts in them) Nope. No nuts.
      Lee: Are you sure? Cause I'm highly allergic. Half a pecan could kill me.
      Susan: (grabs a cookie bar and breaks it into pieces to look for nuts) I'm not seeing any nuts.
      Lee: Okay, you made them. So, did you or did you not put nuts in them?
      Susan: Okay, here's the thing. I'm a really crappy baker. To give you something that I made myself would be like an insult so...
      Lee: So, so, so, so, you bought them. And then, and then you heated them up in an attempt to make your gesture seem more thoughtful than in fact it was.
      Susan: Hey, I would have made them myself if I knew how. Honestly, I'm a good neighbor.
      Lee: Well, neighbor, why don't you take your store-bought, warmed-up, possibly poisonous cookie bars and give them to someone more likely to survive your generosity.
      Susan: Do you like wine?
      Lee: No, no. So, please don't bring me a bottle from your vineyard.

    • Orson: (driving by in Danielle's little scooter with his feet up) Watch this!
      Bree: Orson, I said be careful!
      Orson: (still driving by in Danielle's scooter but now laying on his stomach) Look! Look at me!
      Bree: Orson, just five more minutes! That's all you're getting!
      (car breaking and screeching)
      Orson: (Orson has fallen off the scooter into a bunch of trash cans) I'm okay! I'm fine!

    • Katherine: Aunt Lily, what does it feel like? Dying, I mean.
      Mrs. Sims: It's not that bad. I feel lucky.

    • Mary Alice: Pests. They come in all shapes and sizes, and disrupt our lives in a variety of ways. At first, they are merely annoying, and we do our best to ignore them. But if we don't take them seriously, they can become quite dangerous. For some, death seems to be the easiest solution. But the problem with pests is that what they leave behind is just as dangerous.

    • Susan: Come on Bree, you have to let us do this.
      Bree: It's a lovely thought, but I really don't want a baby shower.
      Gabrielle: Oh, I bought you an expensive gift and I'm not giving it to you unless there's a party with people who can see how generous I am.

    • Lee: (to Susan) I hope we can live up to your stereotype.

  • NOTES (3)


    • Susan: How's Bob's suit?
      Mike: Ruined.
      Susan: Oh, what if we take it to my cleaner's?
      Mike: Susan, that paint is not coming out. So we're buying him a new suit. For two thousand bucks.
      Susan: Two thousand dollars?
      Mike: Well, according to Lee it's a Dolce. I don't know what that means but he said it six times.
      Susan: That's crazy!
      Mike: No. What's crazy is I'm about to buy the most expensive suit of my life and I'll never wear it.
      Susan: I just wanted them to like me.
      Mike: Well, they don't. Lee said that six times, too.

    • Gabrielle: All quiet on the southern front.

      This is a play on the title of the novel All Quiet on the Western Front by Erich Maria Remarque.

    • Episode Title: "If There's Anything I Can't Stand" is a song taken from a musical co-written by Stephen Sondheim while he was in high school, entitled By George. It was based on the lives of the students at the private George School in Pennsylvania, the school which he attended.