Return To Me
Written by Alexandria Cunningham
Directed by David Grossman
8.0
"Great"
Vern (re Victor): “And he’s totally fine with you being a high maintenance nightmare”
Gabrielle: “Oh my God, that’s the best part”.
And the awards for this week’s bout of famous last words goes to Gabby who made the mistake of coming out with that hasty overestimation of Victor’s esteem for her. Well I guess she did have the right to be smug but how interesting is it that Victor isn’t entirely immune to her charms?
Anyone who has to deal with a nightmare like Gabrielle probably deserves an award of some kind and while Victor has been pretty tolerant of Gabby’s behaviour so far, it was only a matter of time before she was involved with something that would test his patience but sadly, his dealing of her left a lot to be desired.
The beginning of this episode things between Gabby and Victor were at an all time with him becoming Fairview’s latest Mayor and Gabby enjoying her status further elevated but then a series of errors all instigated by Gabby brought out a somewhat nasty side to Victor.
If there’s one thing Gabby loves along with material goods, its power and hell would have to freeze over before she’d allow anyone else including a local meter man get one on her. It’s really moments like this in which I do hate Gabby because while the guy was a bit of a knob, he was essentially doing his job.
Gabby simply should’ve gotten out of the way with her car and held her conversation with Vern until she was away from the meter man’s clutches but instead she blindly ignored him after he told her to move her car and did behave like a spoiled **** when she was given a ticket for her ignorance.
Being perceptive enough to label Gabrielle a spoiled **** makes me like the meter man but having some form of intelligence and insight only incurred Gabby’s wrath who decided to take advantage of being the Mayor’s imminent wife by parking yet again in a place she shouldn’t while going around and ripping up parking tickets as she delivered a swift kick to her new nemesis.
Of course the meter man had a brief victory with Gabby getting arrested for causing a public display but sadly for him a jealous Victor hired a bunch of thugs to give him a beating after he bruised Gabby, which I might add had been in self defence rather than a full out assault.
This was the nasty side to Victor I didn’t like – him hiring someone to beat on a meter man for getting into a scuffle with his fiancée. What the hell would Victor do if someone had mugged Gabby in the street? To me that isn’t love, it’s a form of possessiveness and if I were Gabby, I would be worrying right about now.
Even Victor’s tone with Gabby changed during their confrontation with there being an underlying layer of danger in how he spoke to her. Maybe I’m jumping the gun but it felt like I was watching a domestic violence scene and seeing as that was something hinted in Gabby’s marriage to Carlos in early Season One, what’s to say, the writers won’t go there with her marriage to Victor?
Another housewife worth worrying about is Lynette, who more or less goes through the ringer in this episode as she opened the hour by enjoying her usual late night meal and wine session with Rick only for her and the hunky manager to end up in a freezer after the restaurant got robbed by a group of thugs.
When Tom finally rescues them, there’s a shroud of guilt with Lynette as while she may not have had comfort sex with Rick, they certainly were a lot closer than before and during a re-watch of the CCTV footage in the restaurant, both the cop and Tom noticed how Lynette and Rick were before they got robbed.
Having seen enough of what anyone could consider evidence and Kayla’s words fresh in his mind, Tom decides to nip the Rick problem in the bud by taking him out for a lunch and insisting on him handing in his notice which goes to show that while Tom isn’t entirely dense he certainly is no Alan Sugar of the restaurant world either?
Technically you can’t fire a bloke for taking a shine to your wife but you can certainly remind them that it’s not in their best interest to get too close and while Rick’s refusal to quit was predictable aside from having a thing for Lynette and perhaps liking his job, what else would’ve kept him there?
There’s a wonderfully intimate conversation between Tom and Rick as both men use rather insightful details of Lynette’s psyche during the times they’ve known as a means of getting one over the over and of course, they also happen to be on the mark with their assessments of the lady.
Rick is right in the sense that he brings Lynette out of her shell and makes her feels like she’s more than a wife, mother and business partner but unlike her mates, Lynette has a tendency to feel worse about some of the selfish things she’s said and done from time to time.
That would also mean that having an affair would rack her with guilt and while maybe you could suggest that Tom’s offer to forgive her if she strayed was an incentive to get Rick to take a hike, I think despite his faults and the insane pressure he puts on her that he does love her and wants their marriage to work.
As for Rick, he more or less signed his own P45 when he told Lynette about his lunch with Tom and openly admitted that he wanted to be with her, to which Lynette reacted by firing him and although I didn’t mind Rick, this plot could only be taken so far and him leaving now made sense.
However the problems in Lynette and Tom’s marriage still aren’t going anywhere as Lynette told Tom that Rick quit on his own steam and Tom failed to mention the fact he had words with their former manager. The scene in the bathroom is also one of the saddest we’ve seen involving Lynette but it isn’t as good as her scenes in “Bang” were.
Elsewhere Edie also suffers from bad judgement in the love department when Carlos’ not amazingly high interest in her begins to wane even further thanks the exit of Travers in tonight’s episode, only hopefully for us, we will be seeing the lad again.
Travers exit just comes from his likeable dad Charles arriving back from Kenya to pick up the lad and what really works about Charles as a character is not only does he seem to be a good guy and father to his son but his lack of hostility towards Carlos’ affection towards Travers is a nice touch.
Honestly I was expecting Charles to be something of a jerk with Carlos, so it was nice that while he didn’t want to stay in Fairview long enough for Carlos’ planned family day with Travers and Edie, he was on the whole pretty decent with Carlos.
Even when Edie used the misguided notion of buying a puppy to persuade Travers to pester Charles for joint custody, Charles’ attack on Edie’s mothering skills are never too far. He merely states her lack of interest in having her son on a frequent basis and questions her reasons for wanting further access now after so many years of barely seeing him. Contrary to popular reports, judges can and will deny mothers if they see fit and while Edie isn’t an abusive parent, she can be accused of being negligent. Also Charles has looked after Travers more and seems to be a more responsible role model than Edie so for those reasons; Edie would have a losing battle on her hands.
Carlos also twigs on that her motives for wanting custody of Travers aren’t selfless and is able to talk her around by promising to be there. The fact that Carlos is more interested in being surrogate dad to Travers rather than a lover to Edie is too telling of their relationship and with Edie giving Carlos the perfect opportunity to leave her, Carlos might have made things worse by staying with her.
Meanwhile in somewhat more happier circumstances and fresh from Ian leaving her with grace, Susan’s next game plan is to get Mike back and soon enough she’s able to persuade Carlos into telling her where Mike is hiding and like many places, the woods are not for the Susan Mayer’s of the world.
Not only does she make the grave error of not packing the right equipment for the woods but when Susan is given a guide named Toni, the usual bout of predictable hiccups arrive but not before Toni tires of her latest charge.
Susan uses the woods as another chance to tell someone else about her relationship and a naturally bored out of her skulls Toni is quick to point to Susan’s love of drama as a source of her misery. Christ, you think this woman could dispense that sage piece of advice to Meredith Grey, Lana Lang and Jack Shephard? Either that or some rolls of duct tape they can apply to their mouths.
Of course Susan doesn’t take the correct assessment of herself very well and ditches Toni in a strop only to get completely lost and in a rather sweet scene at the very end of the episode, she gets reunited with Mike. Well anything is better than listening to her whine.
Also in “Into The Woods”
Housewife of the week: Lynette and Rick enjoying their meal before they got locked in the freezer. The thugs who raided the pizzeria looked similar to the ones who gave the meter man a pasting.
Carlos: “Feel these biceps”
Travers: “Mom’s is harder”.
No Opening Credits this week due to the length of the episode.
Cop: “You need to be more careful. The two of you were asking for trouble”
Lynette (re herself/Rick): “I guess we were”.
Rick: “What would you like to know?”
Tom: “Well for starters are you sleeping with my wife?”
Nickname this week was Tom’s dubbing of Lynette as a “blonde furnace”.
Toni (to Susan): “You don’t want to be happy, you’re a drama junkie and when there isn’t any, you create it”.
There was also an episode of Buffy called “Into The Woods” as well. Like Cherry, Joss Whedon is also a Sondheim fan.
Gabrielle: “Vern you’re just awful and as it happens so am I”.
Charles (re Travers): “We had an agreement”
Edie: “Nothing was official”.
Greg Evigan who played Charles was also an alumnus from Melrose Place. Pity he wasn’t given any scenes with Doug Savant.
Rick: “I know I don’t have much to offer”
Lynette: “And I have nothing to offer, I am taken”.
Susan (to Mike): “I love you, I’ve always loved you and I don’t want any more drama and if you take me back, there won’t be. Unless I get eaten by a mountain lion, which would be dramatic”.
Is it me or has all of Edie’s main plots been quickly gotten rid of with the exits of Austin and Travers? It’s not like her relationship with Carlos is going to last any longer either.
Gabrielle (re meter man): “He was mean to me, he deserved it”
Victor: “I don’t care”.
No Bree, Orson, Andrew or Danielle but at least we don’t have long to wait for them now.
Carlos: “I am going to make you happy”
Edie: “Don’t say that if you don’t mean it”.
Chronology: Not long since “Gossip”.
“Into The Woods” isn’t quite as good as the previous three episodes but there’s a lot going on for it especially as a lot of the plot will play bigger parts in the next two episodes with marriages being tested and grounded and the overall sense of intrigue as to what next season’s big mystery angle will be.