Desperate Housewives

"Edie Britt could never understand why she didn't have any female friends. (Edie all in pink is standing in front of Martha's house waiting for somebody). Of course, she always tried to tell people she didn't need any, but the truth was (a man and his girlfriend are passing by and Edie gives him a smile. He waves at her and his girlfriend kicks him) it bothered Edie that other women didn't seem to like her. Even after moving to Wisteria Lane (Edie is moving to Wisteria Lane and tells the guy to be careful with the boxes because there are breakables in there) Edie couldn't understand why her neighbors kept their distance (Edie waves and all four ladies are drinking coffee in front of Lynette's house and right after she turned their back the four of them began to gossip about her). And then she met Martha Huber. (Martha approaches Edie and she brings her a pie) Within five minutes Mrs. Huber managed to disparage what Edie was wearing (She points out that her shirt is showing too much) In fact whenever they got together Mrs. Huber insulted her. She made fun of everything from Edie's make up (Edie is at Martha's place and she is preparing coffee while Martha approaches her and touches her face with a tissue and points out that she has too much powder) to her taste in men (a masculine hunk (more bodybuilder) is jogging and he passes them by and Edie just says WOW aloud and Martha shoves her and Edie kicks her with a bag) Yes, Martha Huber could be cruel, offensive and downright mean but Edie didn't care because she was the first real friend Edie Britt had ever had (Edie and Martha are gossiping together over coffee and Edie laughs out loud). But now Martha Huber was missing. She had vanished without a trace and Edie was not embarrassed to admit she needed her back. (A cab approaches the house and Felicia Tillman, Martha's sister comes out of it)."

Felicia comes out of the car and she introduces herself to Edie. Edie is surprised because Martha always told her that they were too very alike and she can't see the family resemblance. Felicia tells her that it is there and it just takes a while to become apparent. Felicia asks her if he has a key to Martha's house Edie tells her that she has because after the police kicked the door down they put on the temporary lock. Edie tells her that the neighbors are coming over at noon and they will organize and hand out flyers. Felicia asks her for key and Edie gives it to her and tells her that she can only imagine how worried she must be. Felicia tells her that she is not worried because a few days ago she felt the sensation in her soul and that is when it first dawned on her that something had happened to Martha and when she didn't arrive on time as scheduled that is when she knew that Martha was dead. Edie tells her that she must not think like that because Martha is only missing and Felicia tells her that she is dead but she is her sister and she will find out exactly what happened to her. Edie tells her that it is natural to freak out when the loved one is missing. Felicia tells her that she wants to make something very clear…she hated Martha. She tells her that she was a wretched pig of a woman and the day she died this world became a better place. Felicia gives her a big smile.

"It was in that moment that Edie finally saw the family resemblance." (Felicia gets into house and Edie is in shock)



"Mrs. Huber was missing (a lot of people gathered to see what they have to say about Martha and to take a look at the flyer). The words echoed down Wisteria Lane until every last resident was aware of her disappearance. By noon dozens of neighbors had gathered. Some came to volunteer, some came in sympathy, and some came to learn exactly what the police knew (Paul is standing and reading the flyer) and what they didn't."

Detective tells them that he wants everyone to hand out flyers to put them in a mall or park where they think that Mrs. Huber might have been seen. Detective asks Edie if she would like to say something and Edie stands out. She thanks to everyone on behalf of Martha and her sister Felicia. She tells them that the last conversation with Martha was one of anger and she will never forgive herself for the things she said and because of it she can't sleep at night and she hugs the detective. Lynette, Susan and Gabrielle are in the back row and Lynette points out that Edie made this all about her. Lynette tells them that Bree is brining Rex from the hospital today and Susan still can't figure out how he had a heart attack because he was so young. Gabrielle points out that Felicia is extremely creepy and Lynette points out that the way she spoke of Martha was like she is already dead. Susan tells them that Martha can't be dead because she is too though and she is like a roach. Paul approaches Felicia and tells her that everyone is praying for her sister's safe return and Felicia tells him that she seriously doubt that.



Andrew, Danielle and Bree are looking through the window at Rex. He is being released today. Bree tells the kids that he can go to the motel because he is not allowed back in her house. Danielle thought that they were getting along and wants to know what happened. Bree tells her that that is between her father and her. Andrew tells her that she is so selfish and he is so looking forward to the day when he will put her in the nursing home. Bree tells him that she will disappoint him but she plans to have an embolism and die young. Andrew tells her that she will be sorry if she abandons Rex. Bree tells him that he wouldn't be saying that if he knew what Rex did. Andrew wants to know what Rex did but Bree tells him that she will take care of him and after that he can rot in Hell for all she cares.



Mr. Hartley, Carlos' lawyer, tells Gabrielle that it is not her fault that the bank accounts are frozen. Gabrielle tells him that she is not saying that but she wants him to fix it. Hartley tells her that he can't. Gabrielle points out that she is running out of money and in couple of weeks she will be screwed. Yao Lin tells her that she can sell some of her old jewelry because most of them she doesn't wear and some of them are very ugly. Gabrielle asks her if she has a toilet to scrub. Gabrielle tells Hartley that she is so mad at Carlos because she can't believe that he was exporting goods made from slave labor. Justice department wants to make sure that Carlos doesn't skip the country. If he is released on bail he can argue that he needs money to live on and they will probably unfreeze one of the smaller accounts. Gabrielle points out that they won't release him on bail until he gets a passport. Hartley asked her if she found it yet ("Gabrielle wanted her old lifeback no question but she wanted Carlos to suffer for his betrayal even more" (We see her throwing passport into the fire)) and she tells him that she is still looking. Hartley tells her that in that case she may consider looking for a job and Yao Lin who heard that starts laughing and Gabrielle gives her a look.



Susan and Mike are at her house and Susan tells him that she had a lovely time. Someone is on the door and Susan opens it. It is her ex husband Karl and he asks her if it is the bad time and she tells him that it is always the bad time for him. He points out that he needs her signature for tax stuff. He comes in and Susan introduces Mike to her ex husband Karl. Mike goes to his house to get something leaving Susan and Karl alone. Susan sees where she needs to sign. Karl tells her that Julie told him about the birthday plans and Susan tells him that they are going to some restaurant downtown. Susan will go with Mike and Julie will take a couple of her girlfriends and there will be a piano and she will sing. Karl starts leaving and Susan tells him to give her best to Brandi. Karl tells her that they are not together anymore and when Susan asks her what happened he tells her that he caught her in a bed with another guy. Susan tells him that she is really sorry that he had to go through that and Karl hugs her. In that moment Mike enters the house and sees them hugged. Susan gives him the look and gives him a sign to call her. Susan tells Karl to rip old photos because it helps. Karl tells her to let him know how the party goes and she asks him if he would like to join them and Karl hugs her and tells her that she is the best.



Lynette and Tom are in bed together and they are ready to go off to sleep. Lynette wrote what they have to do on the back of Martha's missing paper and she wants to discuss with Tom if they are going to buy the water heater because there is a sale in the mall. Tom goes to sleep and wants to talk about it tomorrow. Lynette also goes to sleep and then asks Tom if he sat the coffee maker. He tells her that he will wake up tomorrow early and set it up but Lynette wants it done. Tom gets out of the bed.

Claire is downstairs and she is putting her clothes into the wash machine and she notices that her robe is also dirty and she takes off all of her clothes and puts it in the machine and she wants to sneak back to the room upstairs but she bumps at Tom. She is in shock and turns around. Tom tells her that he didn't know she was up and she tells him that she also thought that they were sleeping and asks him if he would like any coffee and he tells her that he would and he will go upstairs. He goes upstairs and into his room. He is horny and Lynette tells him that if they are going to go to the mall they can also go to the shoe store because he said that he needs a new running shoes. She looks at him and they start kissing.



"The next morning while the search for Martha Huber continued Lynette discovered a little family secret one she wasn't even looking for."

Claire is now in the kitchen with Lynette and tells her that she didn't want to go downstairs before Tom left for work because she is still embarrassed. Lynette asks her about what and Claire tells her that last night she was doing laundry and she noticed that her robe had some baby food on it and she took it off and on her way up she bumped into Tom totally naked. Lynette is surprised and asked her when did this accident occur and she tells her that it was late and he was on his way to make coffee or something. Lynette now knows why Tom was horny and she is pissed off a little bit.



Gabrielle is at Mr. Gibb's model agent office and he is impressed by her photos and he tells her that she will be hired but she needs to realize that this is not New York and she tells him that she made ten thousand dollars and she doesn't expect to make that money here. Mr. Gibb tells her that they need a model to demonstrate the new Buick Lacrosse at the Fairview County Mall and he tells her that there will be only her and car on revolving platform for 300 $ a day. Gabrielle wants to know what else do they have and he tells her that Sci-Fi convention needs someone to dress up as a warrior princess. She tells Mr. Gibb that she is a professional model and tells him to look at her bone structure and her face is a cash cow and tells him that if he doesn't have a vision to take advantage of that then maybe she is at the wrong agency. Mr. Gibb tells her that he is the only model agent in a hundred mile radius and he hires women for boat shows and garden tool expose and if she doesn't like she can move back to the city. She sits down pissed off and asks him if the Buick thing includes lunch.



Bree brings lunch to Rex and he tells her that he is grateful and she tells him that she doesn't need any of his gratitude because he is only here because of the children and he asks her if she had told them and she tells him that she is keeping adultery to herself. He asks her if she would feel any better if he told her that he is sorry and she tells him that she would if she had feelings for him but the place he used to occupy in her heart is very much empty by now. He tells her that she needs to feel something for him because she served him lunch with good china, freshly pressed napkins and flowers from the garden and it is made with love. She tells him not to mistake her anal retentiveness with her affection. She goes away and takes the flowers with her.



Susan and Mike are kissing at her house and while they are kissing she notices the Martha Huber missing paper and tells him to stop a second. She turns the paper over so she doesn't have to look at Martha and tells him that she is OK and they resume their kissing. He starts laughing a bit and she tells him what is it and he tells her that he loves her. She is shocked at first and tells him that it is great and he tells her that it kind of popped out and she tells him that she was caught off guard. She tells him that she wants to say it back and Mike tells her that she is not ready and he understands it. She asks him if he is mad and he tells her that he is not and tells her that she has other issues and he gets it. They continue to kiss but she wants to know what kind of issues she has and he tells her that he doesn't love her anymore and wants to continue with kissing and she tells him that he probably has some insight of her soul and she wants to hear everything. He tells her that her divorce left her hurt and vulnerable and she tells him that the mail man knows that, and he tells her that there is a chance that she might have feeling for Karl and she tells him that she loathes him and mailman knows that too. He tells her that maybe one part hates him but the smaller part still hangs up on him. She wants to know how he came to that conclusion and he tells her that first thing she did when she found out that the woman he left her with left him, she hugged him and invited him to the party. She is mad about that and tells him that tomorrow he will go with her to Julie's birthday and he will see for himself that she doesn't have any feelings for her husband. He tells her that he has basketball game cards and she tells him that he will go to the party and that is the end of story.



Bree is at the pharmacy and the pharmacist George is there and she says hi to him and he tells her that she looks lovely today and she tells him that he always says the nicest things and he tells her that it is true. She gives the prescription paper and tells him that Rex had a heart attack. He asks how he is now and Bree tells him that he has some risk still and George tells her that he will need a constant care.

"As the words "Constant Care" echoed in her head Bree caught the sickening glimpse into her future (She sees the old couple and the lady attends to her very sick husband) which prompted her to seek an old fashioned remedy."

Bree asks George out to dinner and he asks her if it is a date and she tells him that it is and he asks her about her husband. She covers the ring on her hand and tells him that they are separated.



"In spite of Mrs. Huber's disappearance life on Wisteria Lane started to return to normal (one men is putting the missing Martha Huber paper on a street lamp) until an intriguing discovery was made on a dirt road next to the interstate. (Officer found the car of Martha Huber and he calls the police) As the news spread of this mysterious development everyone in the neighborhood decided to band together to show their support and to look for clues or worse."

Everyone is looking through the forest. Edie is with Felicia and Ida while Susan is looking with Bree and Lynette. Bree tells them that she is looking at the horizon and tells them to tell her if she is about to step on a body part. Lynette tells her that they don't know if she is dead and Susan tells her that people fake their own abduction all the time. Bree wants to talk about something less depressing and Susan tells them that Mike told her he love her and Lynette bursts out and tells OH MY GOD aloud and Felicia thinks that they found the body. Everyone starts running toward them and Lynette tells them that they didn't find the body and explains that Susan had some really great news. Edie walks away furious and tells Ida that Susan always finds a way to make it about her.



Gabrielle is on the platform and Buick on the revolving platform behind her. She presents the new Buick Lacrosse but the microphone makes that horrible sound and Sarah fix it on her sound machine and the ugly fat Sarah gives her a thumb up. She tells to the crowd that it has expertly crafted interior, peaceful quiet tuning and ultra sonic rear parking assist. (The couple of people are watching her) and she performs the remote control. She sees Tom and Lynette and tells that the car also has other cool exciting things and she tries to hide behind the platform but her dress is caught on the turning platform and she can't find a way to release it. She can't release the dress and she bumps into Tom and Lynette and she tells them that she hit the stores and asks them what are they doing here and they tell her that they are buying the new water heater and Lynette points out that she is formally dressed and Gabrielle tells them that she wanted to match the dress with the shoes and tells them that she got too close to the turning table because she loves Buicks so much. Sarah approaches her and gives her a helping hand. Gabrielle tells them that Sarah is her shopping buddy (Sarah makes surprised face) and Lynette tells them to shop their little hearts out and they go away. Gabrielle is extremely pissed.



Bree is looking lovely and Rex points that out and asks her if she is going out. She tells him that it is none of his business but if he is so much curious then she is going out. Rex wants to know what kind of date and she tells him that she doesn't want to upset him because any minor stress can cause another heart attack. She tells him that it is a single romantic date with a single hot man and she intends to french the hell out of him. George is on the door and he gives her the bouquet and tells her that he likes to garden in his spare time. She tells him that it is lovely and invites him in. She introduces him to Rex and he tells her that he thought that they were separated and she tells him that they are emotionally but he lives with her because his mistress refused to take care of him. She tells George to have a seat and goes to put the bouquet in the water. George sits and asks Rex how he is and he tells him that he is fine and asks George how is the pharmacy and George tells him that it is busy and Rex starts laughing and George wants to know what is so funny. Rex tells him that he engaged in some extramarital activities and Bree is doing all sort of things to make him suffer and all he can do is laugh. Bree tells him that the flowers are the nicest she ever got and they start going away. George tells Dr. Van de Kamp that it was nice talking to him and he tells him that he is dating his wife so he can call him Rex.



Lynette and Tom are going home from the mall and Lynette points out that the girl who sold them the water heater was hot and Tom tells her that he didn't notice. Lynette tells him that she was his type with big breasts and curvy and Tom wants to know what is she doing and she tells him that the girl was his type…oh and Claire. Tom kisses her and tells her that she is the only type he loves and Lynette tells him that this won't finish the conversation because the only reason he made love to her was because he saw Claire naked.

Tom and Lynette are in the care and Tom tells her that it would be stupid to lose Claire over something like this. Lynette tells him that they always told each others' crashes and they laughed about it afterwards and now she is worried that he won't admit that he is attracted to her. Tom tells her that he is not denying and she asks him that he is attracted to her and he tells her that he didn't say that. Lynette stops the car in the middle of the line and tells him that they won't go until he confesses that he has hots for Claire. Lynette tells him that she is attractive and she gets it because man are drawn to young women it is the flaw of their gender and in that moment one lady knocks on the window and Lynette opens it. The lady tells her that they would like to get out of here and asks her if there is a problem and Lynette tells her that she needs a minute because her husband won't admit that he has a lust in his heart. Tom tells her that Claire is attractive but he is not attracted to her and if there was any danger having Claire around he would be the first one to throw her out and tells Lynette that she will always be the one. They kiss but they hear the horn back and they have to move.



Julie is on her birthday party and she just finished singing the song and she tells Susan that they have dance floor upstairs and they will go to check it out. They go and Edie enters the place. Susan is shocked and Karl tells her that she brought Mike and she is pissed at Karl. Edie approaches and she gives a kiss for the birthday boy and she kisses Karl. Susan tells her that it is not Karl's birthday and Edie is shocked a little bit.



George drove Bree home and they are in his car talking. Bree tells him that it was a lovely evening and he tells her that there is nothing better then the great conversation with a beautiful woman over a delicious meal. They are about to kiss but Andrew knocks on the window. Bree asks him where he came from and he told her that he was on his way back home from Brian's house. Bree introduces him to George Williams the pharmacist and Andrew wants to know what is going on. Bree gets out of the car and she tells him that they were on a date. Andrew tells him that she is married and Bree tells him that they are separated and the only reason she is taking care of Rex is because he insisted on it. Andrew wants to know if they are going to have sex and Bree tells him that they won't and when Andrew asks why she tells him that she doesn't commit adultery like Rex. Andrew is shocked and Bree tells him that that is the truth and Andrew tells George to be careful because Bree is a liar.



Gabrielle is at her house looking at the bills.

"In spite of her mounting debt Gabrielle was determined to prove she could get along just fine without Carlos' money. It wasn't until the electricity went out (Power goes off) that she finally began to see the light."

Gabrielle calls Mr. Hartley and tells him to start working on releasing Carlos on bail because she remembered where she put Carlos' passport.



Edie is singing in front of the crowd. She finishes the song and she gets massive applause. Karl tells her that she is next and she tells them that she sings only when she is alone. Mike tells her that he would love to hear her voice and Karl tells him that she is not budging and she tells Mike that she will sing New York, New York and Mike goes to order it. Edie points out that Susan is not so nice dressed and she hopes that the people won't turn on her and Susan takes her that she will take her chances just like she did. Edie goes to get another tour of drinks. Susan tells Karl that Mike is great and Karl tells her that he is a little buster brown and asks her if she worries that she will get bored. Susan tells him that she is fine and Karl tells her that their marriage was crazy but it never got boring and she tells him that the part when he slept with his secretary was really exciting and she tells him that it was a mistake but won't she give him the credit for 13 loyal years of marriage and Edie approaches and tells him not to count Henderson's Christmas party. Edie tells him that their marriage is history anyway and starts explaining to very shocked Susan that they both got plastered on eggnog and they found themselves under the mistletoe and Karl started feeling her up. Karl tells her that that is not how it happened and Mike tells Susan that she is next and Susan is so confused and she looks at Karl from the stage and starts singing the song:

"Start spreading the news,

I am leavin' today

I wanna be a part of it

New York, New York.

These vagabond shoes – You are an ass you know that- (the piano stop playing and she tells him to continue)

Are longing to stray – There's a word you know right -

And get around the heart of it

New York New York.

I wanna – just tell you that the affair was one thing and I mean I forgave you because on some small level I thought that you were in love with her and now I just find out that you were just groping people at parties-

Top of the heap (Karl starts going away)

Karl don't you turn away from me. LOOK AT ME (She takes the microphone) You know what else were you doing during our marriage how many other women were you sticking it to? As God is my witness it will snow on the hills of Hell before I ever feel sorry for you again. (She finishes the song with NEW YORK and just smiles)"



"As the police interviewed the residents of Wisteria Lane about the mysterious disappearance of Martha Huber (Rex is talking to the police) my husband Paul (Paul is looking at them from his lawn) reasoned it would only be a matter of time before their digging would begin to yield answers. (Paul goes to the woods and dugs up Martha's body and takes her ring and bracelet). Since he knew the police had no suspects he decided to point them towards the most logical candidate (he goes to Mike's garage). You see if there was one thing Paul understood about the suburbs, it was this (he puts the ring and bracelet into one of Mike's drawers) no one is ever more suspicious than a new neighbor who's just moved in."



Lynette, Tom and Claire are all in the kitchen and Lynette tells them that Parker might catch a cold. Claire starts cleaning the table and her breasts are so visible then. She tells them that she will make an appointment but as she speaks the sound slowly fades away and it turns into slow motion as Tom starts looking at her breasts. Lynette notices that and Tom tells Claire that they need to make some changes.



Bree is moving some of Rex's stuff to the garage and Andrew helps her out. Andrew tells her that he talked to Rex and he did have an affair. Bree tells him that she is so sorry that she said anything and Andrew tells her that he is glad because now he knows. Andrew wants to know why she is taking care of him because she can forget what he and Danielle said and he will help her to take his stuff out on the street. Bree tells him that she is helping Rex because it is the right thing to do. Andrew tells her that he cheated on her and he is a jerk. Bree tells him that he will not speak about his father like that in front of her. Andrew tells her that for once he is actually on her side and Bree tells him that she is mad at him and she will divorce him and she may eventually marry to someone else but she tells him that Rex is and always will be the love of her life and he gave her the best eighteen years of marriage that she could have ever hoped for and for that he will respect him. They go to the house and Rex heard everything.



Karl is in front of Susan house and he tells her that he came to apologize. She tells him to come in. Karl tells her that he is still in disbelief that Edie brought the whole thing up and he thought that he was done hurting her and Susan thought the same and she also apologizes for the flipping out. Susan tells him that she shouldn't allow him anymore to get to her like that. Karl points out that he is still getting her and Mike and she doesn't have what they had. Karl tells her that they are still getting at each other and she has to admit that it was good and it was the best. Susan is shocked by what he is saying and he tells her that they should give this another shot. Susan asks him if he wants her back and Karl tells her that he realized that she is the one for him. Susan wants to make things clear and asks him that he is saying that he wants to move back in and be faithful to her and love her with all his heart and soul and he tells her absolutely. Susan tells him that this is wonderful and he wants to kiss her and she backs off and tells him by wonderful she meant that if she had any feelings for him and she tells him that there is nothing there and Karl tells her that there has to be something and Susan tells him that there is and she runs out of the house and goes to Mike's place. He opens the door and she tells him that she loves him and they kiss. Police officers are in his house and she asks him if this is a bad time and he tells her that they were just asking about Martha and she tells them that she loves Mike and they can write that down.



"We are all searching for someone (We see Martha's missing paper) that special person who will provide us what's missing in our lives. Someone who can offer companionship (Bree calls Rex and asks him for dinner while Rex is listening to the conversation) or assistance (Lynette calls the agency and tells them that she needs an expert nanny and preferably unattractive while Tom is listening to that conversation) or security (Gabrielle calls Carlos and tells him that she found his passport) and sometimes if we search very hard we can find someone who provides us (Susan calls Mike and tells him that she loves him) with all three. Yes we're all searching for someone and if we can't find them (One guy is jogging with his dog and his dog starts digging the earth and the jogger sees the hand of Martha Huber sticking from the ground) we can only pray they find us."











Written by vukcevic