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Mary Alice Young
A clip of the ABC daytime soap opera, All My Children, can be seen briefly at the beginning of the episode on the television of the jail where Mike is incarcerated. The particular scene is between Susan Lucci (Erica) and John James (Jeff).
When Carlos and Gabrielle are talking on the porch, in the last shot of Gabrielle while watching Carlos walks away, she momentarily looks at the camera.
Richard Herd is the second actor that appears on "Desperate Housewives", and that used to play Elaine's boss on "Seinfeld". The first was Ian Abercrombie ("Beautiful Girls").
Zach says he is two months older than John Rowland. In the next episode, 3-13, Susan says Zach turned 18 a month ago. However, we find out from John's parents that John turned 18 in episode 1-13. So the dates do match, but the years do not, so Zach must've been lying to Gabrielle to make himself look older.
Edie got birth control for Julie because Julie is under 18 and needed parental consent.
The security guard tells Mike that Paul Young paid off his attackers. So why didn't the security guard do anything?
In "Children and Art," Gabrielle corrected a young girl who mispronounced Vogue magazine, indicating that she should know since she was on the cover. However in this episode, she herself mispronounces the French magazine Paris-Match, (saying "Paris" like an American instead of the proper 'Par-ee' pronounciation) though she claims to have been on the cover of it, as well.
When Susan walks with Edie to confront her about the birth control pills, the shadows of trees fall to the right and onto the street, but when the camera angle changes at the end, the shadows suddenly cast away from the street.
Nitpick: Where did Paul Young get his hands on dollar notes in a prison? And why would someone in a prison accept money as a payment -- you can't really use it to buy anything.
Julie says that condoms are only 85% effective. This is partly true, because condoms reduce HIV/AIDS transmission for 85%, and reduce pregnancy for 97%.
This is the first episode featuring Zach Young (Cody Kasch) since the season two finale.
Lynette: (to Andrew) Aren't you supposed to be working?
Andrew: Aren't you supposed to not be here?
(Carlos walks into Gabrielle's bedroom, while Gabrielle is in the bathroom.)
Carlos: Gaby, I need another pillow.
Gabrielle: All right. Don't take the big one. That's my favorite.
Carlos: It's only for one night. 'Cause tomorrow I'm gonna be back home sleeping in my own bed.
Gabrielle: What?! You can't abandon me! There's a madman stalking me. My life is on the line. Do you know how scared I am?
(Gabrielle gets out of the bathroom wearing the dress her secret admirer gave her.)
Carlos: You're keeping that?
Gabrielle: Hey, I'm scared, but not of the dress.
Lynette: (Pinches her blouse after seeing Harry starring at her chest) Harry, Harry, what'd I say?
Harry: I know, I don't mean to be rude. It's just that my showgirl days were a while ago and I can't remember when I last laid eyes on a beautiful woman's (pause) bosom.
Lynette: Really? Well, what if I were to very briefly refresh your memory? (Firmly places waiver on t€able for him to sign.)
Cut to next scene where Lynette is buttoning her blouse.
Harry: Completely worth it! (Hands her signed waiver.)
Lynette: Glad you thought so.
Edie: (to Julie and Austin)The responsible thing is to abstain from sex and focus on your studies. There, I said it out loud just in case anybody asks.
Bree: Well, I'm sure that she must have lots of other houses to show you.
Edie: Nope, Alma took one look at the Applewhite house and "BAM" it was love at first sight.
Alma: We're going to be neighbors!
Bree: No! (pause) I mean, I mean, no. Alma, you can't buy this house!
Alma: Why not?
Bree: Well, are you aware of its history? The previous owner was harboring a murderer.
Edie: It was her son. And say what you like, she was a great mom.
Bree: They had a dungeon in the basement! And people say they still hear groans coming from the house at night.
Edie: (quietly, to Bree's ear) There's going to be groans coming from your house if you don't zip it!
Orson: She kissed me goodbye, what was I supposed to do slug her?
Bree: You went over there to read her the riot act, instead it looked like you were reading her a bedtime story.
Edie: Well I'm sorry I've never been good at getting people not to have sex!
Lynette: (to Tom) …and tonight I'm gonna slap on some sex perfumes and you're gonna get naked and then we're gonna see who the man is.
(Julie and Austin are talking about having sex, Susan walks in and they stop)
Austin & Julie: (Smiling) Bye.
Susan: (on the phone about the pills) So I'm just curious, where do you get off prescribing that without my consent? What? No I most certainly was not there… What do I look like? I don't have blonde hair.
Looks from the window and sees blonde Edie.
Susan: Wait, did my blonde hair have dark roots?
Susan: (tense) Why were you two talking about condoms?
Julie: Why were you eavesdropping?
Susan: Don't change the subject. Are you two having sex? Because I thought I raised you to be smarter than that. (more tense): Don't you realize that sex is not fun and games? It's dangerous!! Every time you turn around there's a new disease! Do you want it to burn when you pee?
Susan: Sex kills!
Julie: I'm not having sex.
Susan: (Relieved) Oh, thank god.
Susan: If you're not having sex, why were you talking about condoms?
Gabrielle: (on the phone with her secret admirer) That's very sweet of you but I am not the most beautiful woman in the world...Yes, I may be in the top 10.
Mary Alice: Your average housewife worries constantly about the dangerous people she sees on the nightly news, which is why she buys expensive alarm systems, carries pepper spray in her purse and keeps a gun in her drawer, so she can go about her day feeling safe and protected. Your average inmate worries constantly about the dangerous people he comes in contact with everyday, which is why he takes ordinary items and turns into weapons that he always keeps handy so he can go about his day feeling safe and protected. What is the difference between the housewife and the inmate? The inmate knows the feeling won't last long.
Mary Alice: (narrating) It's a dangerous world. So we all look for protection, and whether we find it in the arms of our mother, or at the end of a jagged blade, in the kiss of our sweetheart, or at the end of a barrel, we do what we have to to feel safe, because we know that somewhere in the world there are those that will do us harm.
Susan: Don't you walk away from me!
Edie: Do we have to do this now?
Susan: Yes, we do. You may have gotten your first diaphragm with milk money, but that doesn't give you the right to corrupt my daughter!
Edie: Look, it's not like I went after Julie and said, "Hey, do you wanna go out for a burger and some birth control?" She came to me.
Susan: You do not get to decide this for her! What were you thinking?! (She hits Edie with the pills)
Edie: Aah! I was thinking, if Julie got knocked up, that--that you and I could become family, and I'm sorry, I cannot take that chance.
Susan: Oh, you know what? It wasn't 'till your rotten nephew came to town that Julie was a perfect kid, and now she's lying and scheming and having casual sex! She's just a boob job away from being you!
Edie: Look, Mayer, Julie has discovered sex. The genie is out of the bottle. And you better be good with it, or you could lose her forever. Cause like it or not, she loves him. And you know what else? He loves her.
(They enter Edie's house and see Austin topless making out with a girl on the couch.)
(Austin and the girl look up in shock. The girl is Danielle.)
Gabrielle: Honey, let's get real, you are way too young for me.
Zach: I'm two months older than John Rowland.
Alma: People don't come back from the dead.
Alma: Wait, now I'm confused! When Orson came over he just said "Welcome to the neighbourhood. Need any help unpacking?"
Bree: I try to hold my head up and smile and just bake more pies for the church social. But now your ex is camped out on our doorstep like I'm hosting some kind of morman slumber party. And I do not know how I'm going to bake my way out of this one!
Orson: Darling, I'm gonna get Alma out of that house. I don't care if I'll have to live up to my reputation and strangle her!
Bree: (with great relief) Oh, you are a good husband...
Tom: So wait, we're not having sex?
Lynette: Hey, you banned me from your opening!
Edie: (About Julie and Austin) She loves him. And like it or not he loves her.
(Susan and Edie walk in on Austin and Danielle making out on Edie's couch.)
Gabrielle: (going through Julie's room with Susan) First rule of ransacking- remember where everything goes. (snaps pictures with camera phone)
Susan: You're going to make a really good mother someday.
International Episode Titles:
Czech Republic: Jen přes mou mrtvolu (Only Over My Dead Body)
Slovakia: Len cez moju mŕtvolu (Only Over My Dead Body)
Richard Herd submitted this episode for consideration in the category of "Outstanding Guest Actor in a Comedy Series" on his behalf for the 2007 Emmy Awards.
Due to time constraints, the opening credits were cut.
Mary Alice Young (Brenda Strong) was supposed to be seen in person in this episode, in a flashback shared with Gabrielle (Eva Longoria). This scene was cut but a promotional image of it was released.
Although they are credited, Brent Kinsman (Preston Scavo), Shane Kinsman (Porter Scavo) and Zane Huett (Parker Scavo) do not appear in this episode.
On its original airing, this episode scored 17.6 million viewers.
When Edie says "Bam" in describing Alma's decision to buy the Applewhite house, she is using the catchphrase of Chef Emeril Lagasse.
Episode Title: "Not While I'm Around" is a song from the 1979 Stephen Sondheim musical Sweeney Todd.
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