Sex And The Suburbs
Written by Marc Cherry
Directed by Charles McDougall
9.0
"Superb"
Wisteria Lane - a shining example of American suburban life at it's best, replete with white picket fences and where dutiful wife and mother, Mary Alice Young (our series narrator, American Beauty style) goes about her day, picking up her drying cleaning, only to return home and pick up an unused revolver and blow her brains out.
Welcome to Desperate Housewives! The series which has gripped the US by the collective balls and is set to do the same in the UK and Ireland by the end of 2005. Long has gone the day in which a series can open on a whimper before setting the world alight. It's either a knuckle grinder of a beginning or else nothing at all. Don't worry, this one most definitely pack a punch.
In the wake of Mary Alice's death, her four friends, shocked by her horrific act are left to reassess their own previously perfect lives and in my order of preference ...
First up, there's Susan Mayer, brilliantly played by Teri Hatcher, Susan is a divorced woman with a teenage daughter and the show's token klutz to boot. Not only can she make a Maceroni and Cheese that can be burnt and undercooked at the same time but her clumsiness can also provide some serious disaster. When the hunky Mike Delfino (something very pun worthy about that surname) arrives in this intriguing neighbourhood, Susan pulls out quite a few stops to get his attention, including using her daughter's school project to clog the sink.
But with someone as devillishy cute as Mike, there's always a rival in even hotter pursuit and they don't come as more determined as the glamourously trashy Edie Britt (Nicolette Sheridan), the local slut and when Susan thinks she's gotten her wicked way with Mike, Edie's house accidently catches fire (yes Susan is that clumsy), although it turns out Mike was nowhere near her though. Still, this rivalry between Susan and Edie has the potential for some ripe comic moments.
Another of Mary Alice's former friend's (and my second fave housewife) is Lynette Scavo (Felicity Huffman - William H Macy's wife), a stressed out former career woman who could have been running her firm were it not for the decision to be a stay at home mother. Results includes a baby who loves to spit up peaches and three almost satanic six year old boys who love to humiliate her at almost any given opportunity. This isn't helped by an absentee husband who comes home for a quick shag but gets punched when he suggests having unprotected sex. Throwing in the inevitable Sex And The City comparison, there's something very Miranda about Lynette, which isn't a bad thing. Out of the group, she also seems the most cynical of the bunch too.
Next up is the ultimate Stepford Wife, Bree Van De Kamp (Marcia Cross), a perfectionist to the extreme that it's driving her family demented and her husband Rex is so sick of it, that at a restaurant he demands a divorce. Instead he winds up being hospitalised when Bree inadvertantly poisons him. To be honest, I was expecting to immensely dislike Bree. After all, with hair so perfect, it's unable to move, you can't help but be unnerved by her presence but creator Marc Cherry manages to make her sympathetic during her and Rex's scenes at the hospital and we're informed that she wasn't always a perfectionist.
Finally, there's Gabrielle Sollis (Eva Longoria), a former model and most fashion savvy of the bunch, who traded the catwalk to be the trophy wife of rich businessman Carlos. A seemingly volatile and convenient marriage in which both parties are depicted shallow in ways (Gabrielle for wanting to appear happy and Carlos for wanting her to drop into a conversation to the price of her rather hideous looking necklace). Gabrielle also keeps her boredom at bay by romping with their nubile gardner, John who asks a lot of intelligent questions and Gabrielle is so determined to keep her affair going that a party she pays the waiter to make sure Carlos is never without a drink while she sneaks off to mow the garden that John keeps forgetting to do. What some will do keep a secret but in a place like Wisteria Lane, secrets are something to don't stay hidden for long as we're lead to believe.
Keeping with the other characters, the gorgeous Mike seems to have an agenda of his own as do the grieving Young family. Paul definitely comes off as a rather creepy number and I wonder what he was digging out of the pool so late at night? There's also irritating local gossip Mrs Huber and on the teenage front, Julie easily emerges as the most interesting of the bunch. Her open relationship with Susan may be akin to the Gilmore Girls but it's also delightful, even though I was stunned when she asked her mother about the last time she had had sex. Unfortunately, Andrew and Danielle come off as a bit bland and Zach is just a little too weird to warm to just yet.
Also in "Desperate Housewives"
Julie:"Come on. how long has it been since you had sex? (Long pause) Are you mad that I asked you that?"
Susan:"No, i'm just trying to remember".
Lynette: "I know someone, who knows someone, who knows and elf. And if any of you acts up, so help me I will call Santa and tell him you want socks for Christmas! Alright, are you willing to risk that!?"
Susan illustrates children's books which seems very fitting for her character.
Gabrielle:"It's like what my Grandmother always said. An erect penis never has a conscience"
Lynette:"Even limp ones aren't that ethical"
Bree (to Rex):"If you think i'm going to discuss the disolution of my marriage in a place where the restrooms are labelled "chicks" and "dudes", you're out of your mind".
Susan: "Yeah. But sometimes, people pretend to be one way on the outside, when they're totally different on the inside."
Julie:"Oh, you mean like how dad's girlfriend is always smiling and says nice things, but deep down, you just know she's a bitch? "
Susan: "I don't like that word, Julie. But yeah, that's a great example."
Mary Alice (re Edie):"Susan saw the competition and she was a slut".
Great opening title sequences - very Twin Peaks like.
Noticed two former SFU guest stars here - Christine Estabrook (Mrs Huber) and Ricardo Antonio Chavira (Carlos). I also review Six Feet Under and yes there is a cetain feel to the show on this series.
Edie has a son who stays with Mrs Huber. Wonder what that is all about?
Funny moments from each housewife - Bree's basket of goodies to Paul and Zach, Susan advising Mike not to eat her Maceroni and Cheese, Lynette going into the pools to retrieve her meddlesome kids and Gabrielle's mowing skills. What depths these women will go, eh?
I seriously detest Mrs Huber. Examples being taking her time calling for help for Mary Alice and preying on each of the housewives (though Gabrielle had a lucky escape).
Blackmail letter to Mary Alice - "I know what you did. It makes me sick. I'm going to tell".
I have to say, i'm very impressed with this first episode. It's not uncommon for new series to fuse elements of much loved shows that have gone before, but besides the obvious influences (all of which i've mentioned), Desperate Housewives still manages to set an identity of it's own. Funny, serious, very soap opera style melodrama, surprisingly twisted and rather addictive. With mysteries abound such as the real reason Mike is in Wisteria Lane, Mary Alice's demise and what lead to it (including that note) and four genuinely engaging women, this is the most exciting new series (besides Lost)to come Stateside in a while. If Cherry and co can keep the momentum and quality on a continous flow, it'll be interesting to watch this truly take off and I for one cannot wait.