Desperate Housewives

"Suburbia is a battle ground, an arena for all forms of domestic combat. Husbands clash with wives, parents cross swords with children. (We see Wisteria Lane and Solis house) But the bloodiest of battles often involve women (Gabrielle is having a breakfast) and their mothers-in-law (Juanita is sitting next to her while Carlos is sitting on the opposite side of the table). The war for control of Carlos began the night he proposed and Gabrielle had been losing ground to Juanita ever since. From the prenuptial agreement which she reluctantly signed (Gabrielle is signing the piece of paper while Carlos shows her where to sign it and Juanita is standing in the corner looking victorious and pleased) to the selection of wedding music she despised (Gabrielle, Juanita and Carlos are in the house and Juanita is delighted with Mexican music) to the color of the house paint she hadn't wanted (The house is painted dark gold and Juanita is happy about it and so is Carlos but Gabrielle walks away looking furious). Gabrielle had suffered one defeat after another. And now that Juanita suspected her daughter-in-law of having an affair it had become increasingly apparent in this war (Yao Lin, the house maid, informs Gabrielle that she will be at the supermarket) no prisoners would be taken."

Juanita points out that Yao Lin is not needed and Gabrielle tells her that it is big house and she needs help. Juanita tells her that it is only called help when you do some of the work yourself. Gabrielle tells her that she supervises. Juanita points out that she is being paid 300$ a week and that is 15 000$ a year, and tells Carlos that he is always complaining about how he is not putting away enough for the retirement. Carlos tells her that it would be good idea to cut back on expenses and Gabrielle asks him if he expects of her to run this place all by herself and Carlos just tells her that other women manage and he goes to work. Gabrielle is clearly pissed off and Juanita is looking happy as ever.

It is evening time and Carlos is reading the book in his bed and Gabrielle comes to him with sexy underwear. She stands on top of him and starts kissing him. He likes it very much and so does she and then she tells him that she will miss this. How doesn't understand it and she tells him that she will have to take care of the all the house work and all the cooking and cleaning and she will be exhausted at night for sex like all the other wives...until she builds up her stamina and that might take couple of years.

"Sadly for Juanita, she had ignored the first rule of war, (It is morning after and Juanita is checking mail and she says good morning to Carlos and he just informs her that the maid stays.) never underestimate your enemy. (Juanita gives the look to Gabrielle and she just smiles at her looking happy and victorious)"



"Of the many suburban rituals, none is quite so cherished as the neighborhood yard sale. (Some couple goes away in the car and there is a sign on the tree informing the residents that there will be yard sale today at 4352 Wisteria Lane – Young family). The shoppers come to sift through the discarded belongings of someone they don't really know in hopes of finding bargains they don't really need each so determined to save a few pennies, (a lot of people are taking some of the stuff) they often miss the hidden treasures. (Paul closes the box and it says BABY STUFF on it)"

Susan approaches Paul and she tells him that she was a bit surprised to see that there was Mary Alice's award on sale (Some piece of glass). She tells him that she got from the Chamber of Commerce for doing the charity work. Paul tells her that Zach and he are moving and they don't need to carry any more stuff with them then it is absolutely necessary. Susan just points out that if he wants to keep it because for Zach to remember his mother and Paul tells him that Zach doesn't need a piece of glass to remember his mother by. Paul tells her that he is out of newspaper and he opens the box with baby stuff and pulls out the yellow towel and wraps the piece of glass in it. Susan wants to know where Zach is and he tells her that he went to see his relatives because he needed the change of scenery because he was feeling depressed. Susan wants to know which relatives and Paul tells her that she doesn't know them. Susan wants to know how Paul got the fat lip and he tells her that he was asking too many questions. Gabrielle approaches her and asks her if she found out where Zach is and she tells her that she didn't but he is not staying with relatives.

Juanita and Carlos are talking and Carlos is going mad because any one of those guys can be the one Gabrielle is having an affair with. One guy approaches Gabrielle and she shakes hands with him and kisses on the cheek. Carlos is going mad about it and Juanita tells him that it is not someone she will talk to in public. Carlos now knows that it is someone she doesn't talk to and he doesn't know what to do and Juanita tells him that marriage takes work. They go away and they pass John on their way.

Lynette, Susan and Bree are talking and Lynette points out that Paul knows they are on to him. Bree tells them that Zach told her that Mary Alice killed herself because of something he had done. There is nobody else who can know more about it. Bree points out that Zach is a lovely kid and she can't imagine him doing something that terrible to cause his mother to kill herself. Gabrielle points out that he broke into her house and that he is definitely troubled in some way.



We see SILVERCREST JUVENILE REHABILITATION CENTER and Zach is admitted there and he is locked in a room where doctors can observe him. Doctor explains to Paul that Zach is having a sever depression, borderline personality disorder and doctor points out that Zach is a deeply troubled boy and Paul tells him that he is aware of that. Doctor tells him that they are giving him some anti depressants and mood stabilizer. Doctor is also considering an extensive psychotherapy to help him unearth any repressed memory. Paul doesn't want him to do that and tells him to stick with the drugs and to leave Freud behind and tells him that there can be no new treatments without his permission.



The mothers, including Lynette, are on the meeting at the Barcliff academy. Ms. Trusdale explains that it is their involvement that makes Barcliff Academy so special and Little Red Riding Hood is going to be amazing. She gives the next step of their meeting to the parent coordinator Maisy Gibbons. She explains that they have new copies of the script up here. She explains that she, Tilda and Francis went to the rehearsal yesterday and they were troubled with the ending. Killing the wolf…it sends the wrong message to the children and they think that animal should only be euthanized as a last resort and Lynette bursts out laughing. Maisy asks her if she finds something amusing and Lynette apologizes because she thought that she was kidding. In this version wolf has a thorn in his paw and Mr. Woodsman will take out the thorn and send Wolf away. Lynette tells her that they are doing Little Red Riding Hood and that everyone is aware that the wolf is a bad guy and he eats Red's grandma and if they send him away he will just eat other defenseless ladies. Maisy doesn't know who she is and Lynette tells her her name and tells her that her twins joined the play and they will be playing oak trees. Maisy takes the paper and tells Lynette that she is signed to take the tickets the night of the show. Lynette confirms that and Maisy tells her to leave creative suggestions to the mothers who have assumed the heavy lifting.



Gabrielle and Juanita are over at Bree's having coffee and Bree tells them that she is jealous of how much time they spend together because her mother-in-law would never hang out with her and Gabrielle points out that she must be nice. Danielle and John enter the room and they say hi. Gabrielle tells John that she didn't know that they two were friends and John tells her that they go to the same school and Danielle tells Bree that they will be upstairs doing homework. Gabrielle asks Bree if that is making her nervous, a boy upstairs alone with Danielle. Bree tells her that she is not worrying because both Danielle and John are in the abstinence club. Gabrielle spits all of her coffee from her mouth in shock and tells her that it is hot.



(Susan takes the mail from her mailbox and sees Paul going somewhere in his car) "Susan was infuriated by Paul's evasive answers. She was convinced he was deliberately hiding Zach and hiding the truth (Paul says hi to Susan before going away). She hoped that finding one will lead her to the other. To succeed Susan would have to be evasive herself."

Susan goes to Mrs. Greenberg. Ida points out that she hadn't seen her in a long time. Susan is carrying the egg box and asks Ida if she remembers the two eggs she borrowed from Susan last Christmas (shows two empty spots in a box) and tells her that she needs them back. Ida is completely confused and tells her that she will run down to the store to get them for her. Susan tells her to forget and asks her like by the way if she has the old hatch back sitting in her garage. Ida nods and Susan asks her if she can borrow it. Ida is in shock and asks Susan if she knows how to right a stick and Susan tells her that she thinks she knows because she learned in college. Ida tells her that she is not so sure and Susan tells her that it is only for couple of hours and she let her borrow her eggs for a whole year.



Bree and Rex are on the counseling once again and Albert tells them that he is extremely pleased with the work they have done thus far and Bree tells him that she feels good about that too. Albert points out that there are still some of the areas they haven't covered. Albert tells Bree that Rex in their private sessions told him that he wasn't satisfied with his sex life. He tells Bree that during sex Rex feels that she is disconnected that she thinks if her hair is going to look bad or what she has to do tomorrow. Albert points out that this kind of disconnection is often a symptom of a deeper problem. Rex tells her that they were talking and an idea of sexual surrogate came up. Albert tells obviously shocked Bree that it is the professional and he has a referral. She wants to know what the sexual person would do and Rex tells her that she would coach them. Bree points out the word SHE. Albert tells her that she is very discreet and they would hardly notice that she is there. Bree now asks them if the lady is going to be in the room whit them while they make love. Rex tells her that she would help them to achieve the maximum sexual potential. Albert asks Bree if she has any questions and she asks Rex how much longer is this mid life crisis of his going to last because it is really starting to tick her off. She takes her bag and leaves the room furiously.



Everyone is at Lynette's house for a traditional game of poker and so is Juanita there. Bree asks Susan how is it going with Mike and Susan happily tells her that it is finally going because they are having their official date tomorrow and Lynette suggests Little Red Riding Hood. They want to know how it is all going and Lynette tells them that the twins will play oak trees while she has to deal with all the drama backstage. Bree asks her if she met Maisy Gibbons and Lynette tells her that she is a nightmare because she shouldn't have challenged her and now nobody wants to speak with her and Bree tells her that Maisy likes to rule her little kingdom. Susan tells her that it is like that since forever. Girl scouts will smile at you but they will make fun of you behind your back because you are the only one not shaving your legs yet. Lynette tells them that she likes men more because she used to work with men and they take their opponent face to face and after the battle the top dog is known. It is primitive but it is fair. Gabrielle goes to the window while asking if it is sexist of them to generalize like that. She sees John and she wants to talk to him. Gabrielle takes guacamole and tells Lynette that it is giving her a kick and she goes to the bathroom and tells them that she might be a while. Lynette says that she hates three handed poker and Juanita offers to play. She tells them that she used to play with her grandfather and it is more fun to play with money and she tells them that buck is a limit and 20$ buy in. She puts 20 bucks on the table.

Gabrielle is in the bathroom and she opens the window and falls from it then she climbs the fence and also falls over the fence. John finally notices her. Gabrielle asks him why didn't he return any of her phone call and he tells her that he had been busy and she tells him that she had seen with whom he had been busy with. She reminds him that she can do things to him that Danielle can't even pronounce. John tells her that they should cool it for a while and Gabrielle kisses him and tells him that she has everything under control. She is back in and asks what she missed. Girls have a sad look on their face and Juanita tells her that she missed a few friendly games. Juanita won everything.



Lynette is at the meeting again and Maisy walks in and inform them that Celia Bond broke her wrist while playing tennis. They are now in a desperate need for someone to do the costumes and Lynette offers to do it.

Maisy wants to continue but Lynette tells her that since she will be doing some heavy lifting now she can talk about the changes made to the script. Lynette tells them that they all grew up with Little Red Riding Hood and they survived it and she tells them that their kids should enjoy the c like it was meant to be enjoyed and she says that they should kill the damn wolf and put on the best show they can. They all start applauding but Maisy tells her that ship has sailed. Jordana stands up and tells her that there is still time and Ms. Trusdale tells her that it is just a fairy tale and it will not upset the children. Maisy tells her that she is wrong and Lynette tells her that democracy is great because everyone is entitled to their opinion. And Lynette asks who is in the favor of woodsman going medieval on Wolf's ass. Everyone puts their hand in the air. Lynette won the battle and Maisy gives her a look that says you are so dead.



Susan is in Ida's old car. She had put on the hat and sunglasses and she follows Paul to the center.



Bree is having dinner alone and she sees Albert coming in the restaurant also alone. She goes over to him and asks him if they can have a dinner together. He tells her that it is nothing personal but he never socializes with clients. She gets it and tells him that she has so many questions after what happened yesterday…but it can wait. She goes again to her table but Albert invites her to have dinner together.



Gabrielle is talking with Lynette and tells her that Juanita is taking a bath and asks her how much she won from her and then just says geez. Gabrielle tells her that Juanita will take a check and tells her that she will call her back. Carlos wants to know what that was all about and she tells him that Juanita rocks poker and Carlos is upset because they let her play. Carlos explains her that his mother had a serious gambling problem and it was before they were married. It was serious and she went into debt and she had to sell a lot of things. Gabrielle tells him that it was just a neighborhood play and Carlos tells her that it takes a little for her to fall of the wagon. Carlos tells her that he knows that she looks like a strong woman but …Gabrielle finishes the sentence saying that she has a major weakness. She hugs him and tells him that he was right to tell her this and just smiles.



Albert tells Bree that he needs to treat this as a session and she pays him. He wants to know if there was any truth over what Rex said and she tells him that she loves sex and she is not like a cold fish that just lays there. She likes everything about sex but the only thing that she doesn't like is a scrotum because she is not a fan. The waiter approaches them and asks him if he can get him something and Albert asks for check but the waiter tells him that he hadn't ordered yet.



Gabrielle and Juanita stopped by Torch Lake Casino. Juanita thought that they were shopping but Gabrielle tells her that they are just stopping by because this place has a best buffet in town. They are in front of a casino and Gabrielle then tells her that they will hold her suede mini until 2 and if they stay she won't make it. Gabrielle tells her that they will lunch at the mall. Juanita tells her that she is really in the mood for crab legs and tells Gabrielle to drop her off and then come back to her. Gabrielle tells her that if the mall is crowded it might take over an hour. Juanita goes inside and tells her not to rush. Gabrielle calls John and tells him to be in the motel in ten minutes.



Lynette finished the costume and Maisy approaches and tells her that she couldn't help but notice that she forgot the coonskin on the hunter's coonskin hat. Lynette tells her that it was a creative call. Maisy gives her a look and Lynette tells her that she is in the middle of costume crisis and if she doesn't make a shortcut she will never make it. Maisy points out that Jordana Geist manages to get all her work done, she runs the concessions, paints the set and still has time to take care of her three kids and a husband. Maisy tells her that the students can't suffer just because Lynette doesn't understand the concept of time management. Lynette tells her that the kids won't suffer without a clamp of fur on their hats. Maisy tells her that she will make a creative calla and they will cut the oak trees and the forest is looking a little dense anyway. Lynette tells her that her kids are the oak trees and Maisy tells her that they will find something to do for them backstage. Lynette tells her that she will finish the costume and Maisy tells her that the crisis is averted.



Susan and Julie are making a plan to break inside Silvercrest. Susan wants Julie to fit in with other troubled kids and to find out what is wrong with Zach. Julie tells her that she wants to help her but wants to know why this means so much to her. Susan tells her that Mary Alice was a wonderful person and now everyone thinks that she went crazy and did this horrible selfish thing and she owes to her as a friend to find out the truth.



Gabrielle is back to pick up Juanita and she is sitting in front of Casino. Gabrielle approaches her and asks her what is wrong. Juanita tells her that she went to gamble instead of buffet, and she lost. Gabrielle wants to know how much she spent and she tells her that she used Carlos' credit card. Gabrielle wants to know how much she charged and Juanita tells her that it stopped working. Gabrielle points out that the card has 15 000$ limit. Juanita gives her the sad, troubled look and Gabrielle knows that she spent it all.



Rex is eating a sandwich and someone is knocking on the door. It is Bree and she looks amazing in her fur. She goes inside and takes the fur coat off and she has sexy underwear. Rex is amazed and he throws the sandwich to the desk (it is on the edge of it) and they start kissing. They kiss but Bree notices that the cheese is melted and it is going to fall of the sandwich all over the desk and on the floor. She is distracted because of it and she grabs it and puts it aside. Rex lost the mood and tells her that she should have left it the way it was. He opens the door and tells him that it is not a good time for him. She goes outside and tells him that he obviously never had to remove a cheese stain.



Lynette is making a costumes and Jordana tells her that she is ahead of her painting and volunteers for help. Lynette tells her that she is a life saver and Jordana helps her a bit because she needs to make 25 mini-quiches for everyone who is coming to her book club tonight. Lynette wants to know how she pulls it all and Jordana tells her that she is taking a children's ADD medication and on those that have no deficit disorder it has an opposite effect. It doesn't calm you it makes you hyperactive.



Gabrielle tells her that she will sell her old jewelry and pay off the credit card and Carlos will never find out. Juanita is surprised that she would do that for her because she hates her. Gabrielle tells her that no matter how much she dislikes her she loves Carlos more. Gabrielle tells her that Carlos will be devastated if he finds out about the money, she tells Juanita that she doesn't have to believe that she is a good person but at least she can believe that she loves her husband. Juanita just gives her the look. Gabrielle tells her that she won't risk her neck just to protect Juanita. Gabrielle starts calling Carlos… "Juanita might have been a gambler of the family… (Juanita tells her that she believes her)…but Gabrielle was the one who knew how to bluff."



Susan and Julie are in the Silvercrest together and she tells the nurse (Julie is hiding) that she has an appointment with Dr. Sicker. Nurse tells her that she will get him for her and then Julie goes in the yard with all the other children. Dr. Sicker is here and tells Susan that he will help her to do the research on children's book.



Julie finds Zach's room. He tells her that the pills he is taking is making him sleepy and wants to know what she is doing here. She tells him that she stopped by to see how he is doing and to ask him something. She wants to know what he did and he tells her that after Mary Alice killed herself she started remembering some details when he was little and what happened to Dana. Julie wants to know who Dana is but then nurse opens the door and tells Julie that Zach is not allowed visitors and Julie goes away.



Bree is repairing the chipped mug and Rex stops by to take some papers. He wants to know why is she doing that and Bree tells him that it is better to fix what you already have then to buy something new. Rex wants to talk to her about what happened and she tells him that he humiliated her with no good reason and she was there and she was willing and normal men don't say no to that. Bree tells him that she has been thinking about their sex life and there has been a disconnection and it is coming from him. She tells him that he is not getting something from her and he is too afraid to ask. He tells her that she can't stop thinking about the housework. Bree tells him that he can take her right here and now and there are no burritos to take her mind away and the kitchen is spotless. He tells her that he is not in the mood and Bree tells him that they haven't had sex for months and most normal men would be climbing the walls by now. She wants to give him everything he wants he just needs to say it out loud. He tells her that she needs to stop speaking like that because she sound like a whore and she tells him that she sounds like a woman whose husband won't touch her. Bree tells him that after Mary Alice killed herself it hit her that everyone has secret and she tells Rex that it is time for him to tell her his. After a hesitation Rex takes the paper and goes away.



"That night, while most of Wisteria Lane dreamt the night away, Lynette was in the middle of her own personal nightmare. (Lynette can't finish all the costumes and there is too much of it). Determined her boys would not miss their fairy tale debut, Lynette had stayed up 18 hours straight sewing. But she began to fear that her story would not have a happy ending. (She wants to take a coffee but she drank it already, she made a costume and she stands up starts laughing but finishes crying) Luckily for Lynette she had a magic potion handy (She goes to the bathroom and takes ADD medication) …and once she had taken it the magic kept working (Lynette is sewing) and working (she is putting the parts of the costume together) and working (she is ironing and she finished the costumes already…it is morning and she is cleaning the house) It wasn't until noon that Lynette finally took a break and the reality of what she had done began to sink in. (She goes to the bathroom and she looks exhausted but still awake)"



Gabrielle goes to the store and Juanita stays to talk with Carlos. She tells him that the more she watches the more she is sure that she is not stepping out on him. She tells him that she is not perfect but she loves him. Carlos tells her that it is such a relief and tells her that it is funny but he thinks that Gabrielle loves her too. Carlos tells her that he got concerned when she played poker with ladies and he told her about her little problem. Juanita is shocked that Carlos told Gabrielle about it and he tells her that Gabrielle was very concerned about it. Juanita now knows that Gabrielle knew.



Susan went through all the books and Zach and Julie never went to school with Dana. Julie tells her that it wasn't someone they went to school with. Susan wants to know if it sounded like relative and Julie just tells her that it sounded like Dana. Julie tells her that she is worried about Zach and asks Susan if she can get him out. Susan tells her that it is up to Paul (Paul is doing his lawn and they look at him through the window) Julie wants to visit again but Susan tells her that it is a bad idea (Paul sees her and just looks at her). When Julie asks why Susan just tells her that she has a feeling.



(Juanita is knitting in front of the house while John it doing their lawn and Gabrielle is parking her car) "Juanita was now more convinced then ever that her treacherous daughter-in-law was having an affair, but the question remained, with whom. (Gabrielle looks inside the mailbox and she walks by John and they don't exchange the word but they were very close to each other, Juanita noticed that and when Gabrielle entered the house, she just kept on looking at John) And suddenly, Juanita remembered that it wasn't the men Gabrielle talked to she had to worry about."



Lynette brings the costumes right on time. Maisy approaches her and tells her that there has been an oversight with the programs. Celia Bond is still credited with costumes they forgot to tell the printer. Lynette wants to know who is they and Maisy tells her that that would be her and tells her that she was so overworked this week with the script changes she demanded. Lynette tries to chill and tells her that these things happens and gives her the coonskin cap and Maisy comments that it looks like a road kill. Lynette yells at her and tells her that that is it and tells her to take it outside. Maisy is in shock and Lynette tells her that they are a years ahead because their children are the same age and they don't have to deal with alpha mom crap and they want to deal with it once and for all. Maisy tells her that she is crazy and Lynette tells her she will let her take the first shot. Maisy tells her that she doesn't have a time for this (everyone is watching normally). Lynette tells her that she thought so and the next year when they do Bambi his mother is going to take a slug to the heart and Maisy will like it. Everyone is happy about it and they just give a good look at Lynette who smiles victoriously.



"The search for power begins when we are quite young (Susan's house is shown). As children we are taught that the power of good triumphs of the power of evil. But as we get older we realize that nothing is ever so simple (The Mary Alice piece of glass is shown and the yellow towel Paul gave to Susan). Traces of evil always remain (The name Dana on the yellow blanket)."



Written by vukcevic