Desperate Housewives

Susan: Hi. I need an operation on my spleen and I just found out I don't have medical insurance. Is there anyone I can sue?

Mary Alice: The world is filled with unlikely friendships. Odd pairings that to the casual observer make absolutely no sense at all. But if you look closer, we can see why these alliances form. After all, a shared purpose can give even mortal enemies common ground.

Carlos: Please don't tell me you're crying just because you can't have the maid you want. Gabrielle: Carlos, she wouldn't have been just a maid, she would have been the best damn maid ever! Carlos: You're pathetic. Gabrielle: Shut up!

Edie: (to Susan) This is Gary Grantham, your future ex-husband. Listen, I've got to meet a client, I've got to go, so just talk amongst yourselves and... you two make a very handsome couple. Gary: Hi. Susan: Hi. Gary: So, you want to get married on Wednesday? Because Thursday and Friday I'm out of town. Susan: Oh! Oh, yeah sure, that's... Wednesday's great...

Carlos:You can't force her to stay and be our maid. Gabrielle: Who's forcing her? We'll pay her whatever she wants - and the best part is with her resume, any wage will look good. Carlos: No way, baby, uh uh... Gabrielle slaps his hand away from her bra... Carlos: What, so you don't get what you want, you just walk off and pout? Gabrielle: Oh, this isn't about me. This is about our great nation, and I have no intention of sexually satisfying a man who isn't willing to stand up for and help spread the ideals and values of the United States of America.

Betty:Caleb told me a nice red-haired lady came over to see him. Bree: Come on in, Betty. (Betty enters Bree's house) Bree: Let me pour you a drink. Betty: This is not a social call, Bree. Did you or did you not break into my house. Bree: Caleb and I had a lovely chat. Betty: If you ever come near him again, there will be hell to pay. Bree: Aren't you going to ask what we talked about? The name Melanie Foster came up. I'm going to pour you a drink now, Betty, because you and I are going to have a long talk and I think you're going to need some help getting through it.

Mary Alice: The world is filled with unlikely friendships. (Shot of Bree comforting Betty as she explains about Caleb.) How do they begin? With one person desperately in need. (Shot of Gabrielle trying on a dress) And another willing to lend a helping hand. (Shot of Xiao-Mhe pinning the dress, smiling back at Gabrielle) When such kindness is offered, we are finally able to see the worth of those we have previously written off. (Shot of Susan getting her mail, and then waving to Karl, who is riding on a bike with Edie) And before we know it, a bond has formed. (Shot of Ed and Tom slapping hands and laughing) Regardless of whether others can understand it. (Shot of Lynette watching them. She shakes her head.) Yes, unlikely friendships start up everyday. (Shot of Danielle and Matthew kissing) No one understands this more then the lonely. (Caleb is watching Danielle from his window) In fact, it's what they count on.

Bree: When I was young, my stepmother told me that I was very lucky. I possessed beauty, wit, cunning and insight. These were weapons all women needed to survive in the world. Danielle: So? Bree: So take good care of your looks, Danielle. You don't have any other weapons at your disposal.