Tornado
Written by John Pardee And Joey Murphy
Directed by David Grossman
10
"Perfect"
Gabrielle: "Give me my money".
Edie: "Your money? Carlos embezzled it".
Gabrielle: "Oh, you're moral all of a sudden".
When it comes to morals, neither Gabrielle or Edie are people who can distinguish between good and bad ones if their lives depended on it. This particularly comes into play in this episode after the antics that both of them have been up to so far this season.
As an introduction also goes, there's no big mystery here. Mary Alice wastes little time in informing viewers that Wisteria Lane is about to be hit by a tornado and also that two people are about to die. However it's what happens along with the housewives that also keeps the episode going.
The first big plot here is the winding down of TV's least compelling quadrangle ever dreamt up. Knowing that Victor plans to get even with the pair of them, Gabby and Carlos come to the deduction that perhaps leaving town would be the best thing to do. Of course this is more for their safety than anything else.
Before she leaves, Gabby also informs her friends that her and Carlos are back together. It's actually amazing to see some shock among the ladies, as well as indignation for the farce wedding she had with Victor. Of course Gabby is dismissive of this and even more dismissive when someone dares mentions how Edie must be feeling about this.
In fairness, Edie really should have plenty of practice by now. Neither Karl or Mike loved her and to prove that third time can also be unlucky, Carlos also proved he didn't love. To give Carlos some credit, he never made a big effort to pretend he had deep feelings for Edie but his treatment of her does make him come across like a heartless jerk no less either.
At least Gabby and Carlos however can salivate in the fact that despite their atrocious set of selfish actions, they've still managed to get back together. It also helps that Carlos has a nice illegal account to fund him and Gabby as well. Unfortunately for them, that's pretty much where their luck begins and ends. If Karma really does exist, then it's picked the perfect time to pay Gabby and Carlos a visit. There's nothing like a scorned ex-lover but two of them in the midst of a tornado is definitely bad timing.
Carlos gets to deal with Victor who releases himself from the hospital and decides to make a house call. Given that Victor wasn't shy in pointing out what he would do to anyone that slept with Gabrielle, Carlos should've been heading for the door instead of coming up with the lamest of apologies.
Naturally Victor makes a half-decent attempt to try and shoot Carlos and while the two of them enjoy a scuffle, the first big death of the episode also occurs. Of all the ways Victor could've been killed, you have to admit that there is something quite ironic about him getting impaled with a white picket fence.
If Carlos got to feel Victor's wrath, then Gabrielle certainly got to realise that Edie is every bit as spiteful as she is. We've already seen the levels of spite that Edie has descended into what with burning Susan's house, preying on Mike's amnesia and faking a suicide, so there's nothing she can do to shock after those events.
In fact you could almost argue that stealing Carlos' documents for his Caiman islands account is tame, even for Edie. I know Al mistook her for Gabrielle when he handed over the documents but Edie sure did love rubbing that wound into her rival's face.
The problem is that one thing Gabby loves more than anything is money and it doesn't mean anything if legally the money isn't hers, she'll still fight for it. In fact her and Edie engage in quite the scrap for the document. It's just too bad that neither woman ends up with the cash when the tornado blows it all away.
However unlike Victor and Carlos (where one died and the other is seriously injured), Edie and Gabby are forced to put their differences aside in order to hideout from the tornado. Well, it's not either of them actually have a choice in the matter.
There's a fantastic moment then when Edie assures Gabby that not only will both of them survive but that Edie plans to continue hating Gabby as well. Edie certainly does know how to harbour a grudge even though she does admit to knowing that Carlos still loved Gabby. Which begs the question – why did she bother going after Carlos in the first place if she knew that?
Speaking of grudges, Bree certainly seems to have one on Katherine and when the other red head is particularly rude to her, Bree decides to get some dirt on her by talking to crazy Sylvia. Sylvia like many a loon on this show just won't go away fast enough.
Last week she pestered Adam and this week she tries goading Katherine about the affair that they had in Chicago. Katherine might not believe her in so many words but obviously Sylvia got under her skin enough for Katherine to waste saliva on her face. It's also the reason why Bree thought it was a good idea to get to know Sylvia.
Because Bree's interest in Sylvia was purely motivated by selfishness, it only seemed fair that it would blow up in her face. Bree makes the error in doubting Sylvia's credibility when she muses that Katherine and Adam seem content as a couple and Sylvia responds by locking herself in the same place where Bree, Orson and Benjamin had planned to ride out the tornado.
When the silly woman doesn't respond to reason, Bree then has to do the less honourable thing and enlist Katherine and Adam in getting rid of Sylvia. Personally I would've kicked the door down or stunk her out of there but as approaches go, it does prove to be essential in deducing whether or not Sylvia is lying about Adam.
The not so surprising thing is that she's not. Given that Bree and Katherine are so similar and that Adam could be of a similar character to Rex, it's not implausible that he would've chosen to stray. Sadly not only was his choice of bedfellow enough to make him lose his job but he slept with someone even more irritating in two episodes than Katherine could hope to be in a whole season.
With this now becoming knowledge, Katherine has the look of a woman who wants nothing more to do with Adam. It's also got to be rather humiliating that her dirty linen is aired in front of a woman who Katherine has gone out of her way to annoy since her return to Wisteria Lane. That being said Bree didn't exactly look like she took any pleasure in it.
As for Sylvia, when she does finally decide to unlock herself, everyone else is gone and she winds up being swept away by the tornado. I'm going to go out on a limb and assume that she is not the second major death of the episode. I know she's integral to Katherine/Adam but not necessarily to the series and certainly not the mystery by all accounts either.
Lynette meanwhile also has problems with the tornado. Given how large her family is, it doesn't seem feasible for them to stay at the house so bunking with Karen in her basement is the best Plan B they could have. Karen on the other hand isn't that keen on pushing out the welcome mat.
Lynette does attempt to play the friend card in order to swing an invite but Karen is actually quick to retaliate by pointing out that Lynette only takes an interest in her when she needs something. Although this is a more bitter Karen than I'm used to, there's no doubt that there is a degree of truth in what she is saying.
Also as soon as Lynette and company do camp out, her and Karen are at each other throats over Tom's allergic reaction to Ida's cat. Lynette then dumps the cat outside and her and Karen wind up back at the Scavo residence in their search for the bloody kitty. Worse still is the final scene where Karen's house is totally destroyed and you're left wondering whether or not Tom, the kids or Ida are dead or alive. Nice way to end this particular episode, with a hint of actual devastation.
Last but not least, Susan is only housewife where the tornado plays no role in her plot. Nope instead Mike really begins to lose his control and ends up knocking Susan down the stairs after she tries to make him go cold turkey. It might have been better had she attempted that with someone rather than going it alone.
On the plus side, at least her fall doesn't result in a miscarriage and at the hospital, there's a breakthrough in Mike's addiction. By that I mean he ends up beating on medical staff, gets handcuffed to a chair and then has Susan twist his arm into going into rehab.
There's some really good scenes between both Teri Hatcher and James Denton but you can't but feel that this plot is a tad rushed. Not that I wanted to see Mike as an addict for the remainder of the season but at the same time, there's almost something a bit too easily fixed with this. Still at least the writers are giving the couple some dramatic plots and I can't complain about that.
Also in "Something's Coming"
Given that the start of this episode told us that a husband and friend would die, can it be assumed the latter choice is someone like Ida?
Bree: "Oh my God. This is going to kill Edie".
Gabrielle: "You'd think so but the vindictive hag told Victor everything".
Karen talking about Ida being a genuine friend made me realise that in the last two seasons, they've actually shared many scenes with other.
Lynette: "You want my kids over with a bunch of winos?"
Karen: "Ida's off the wagon. It's not much better over here".
Bree: "Katherine are you alright? I couldn't help noticing".
Katherine: "Of course you couldn't and everything's fine".
I might have mentioned it my previous review, I still maintain that Sylvia looks a lot like Tina Fey. Except Tina's not scary or annoying.
Bree (re Katherine/Adam): "They seem content".
Sylvia: "Well they're not".
Bree: "It was an observation".
Sylvia: "Well it was a stupid one".
Orson (re Mike): "I thought I was helping".
Susan: "By giving pills to a drug addict? Is that helpful to you?"
In light of the whole tornado business, why didn't anyone think to actually leave Fairview for the day or at least make an attempt?
Sylvia: "I'm not coming out if she's here".
Katherine: "I'm not leaving you with my husband".
Susan: "How are you doing?"
Mike: "I've had better days. I'm so sorry".
Adam had a tattoo in Chicago, which is how Katherine began to figure out that Sylvia wasn't lying.
Al: "You're just as pretty as Carlos said you were".
Edie: "Oh no, I'm prettier".
Gabrielle: "Edie you thief, open this door now".
Edie: "I've called the police. They're on their way. They'll taser your ass".
For two women who hate each other so intensely, Gabrielle and Edie were certainly hugging each other a little too tightly at one point.
Gabrielle: "You just threw my money in a tornado. I'm not getting in there with you".
Edie: "Fine. Then stay out here and die".
Gabrielle: "Move your ass".
Gabrielle: "You really hate me?"
Edie: "Yes. No. It's just that I really let myself fall for him".
No Andrew, Danielle, Julie or Dylan in this episode. Then again there was also no Bob and Lee and it's been a while since they've factored into things.
Orson: "I think it's possible that Benjamin might need changing".
Katherine: "I think that went beyond hypothetical ten minutes ago".
Adam: "I'm sorry but you have to understand".
Katherine: "No I do not".
Adam: "I'm sorry".
Katherine: "Not here, not now".
Chronology: A few days after "A Distant Past".
Well every season needs a big massive event episode and "Something's Coming" is successful in becoming this season's "Bang" in that regard. A shocking episode, with a brilliant final moment and just packed with terrific characterisation throughout goes to show how well this season is doing.