Desperate Housewives Season 8 Episode 8

Mary Alice: (ending narration) Yes, there comes a time when we must expose our weaknesses. When our secrets can no longer remain private. When our solitude can no longer be denied. When our pain can no longer be ignored. But sometimes we feel so alone, that a weakness we thought we'd overcome suddenly becomes too strong to fight.

Andre: There's the woman of the hour. How do you feel?
Susan: I never wanted people to see these paintings. I feel... miserable.
Andre: Then, congratulations. You're finally an artist.

Bree: (after seeing Susan's paintings) Susan, this isn't art! It's an illustrated confession!
Gabrielle: It's like a kids' book! "Meet Dick and Jane! See Jane kill Dick! See Jane bury Dick! Run, Jane, run!"

Chuck: (talking about Alejandro) Something happened to this guy. Something bad and permanent. Now, I don't think you did it, but I think you know who did. Probably one of your friends. And you, being Bree, are protecting them.
Bree: I do protect my friends. I would do anything for them, anything. They're the one thing in my life that have never failed me, and I will never fail them. And against that you are powerless. Now, I am tired of your little guesses and your games, so if you wanna charge me with something, I suggest you take out your cuffs. If not, you get the hell out of my street.

Renee: (sighs, after learning Lynette plans on getting back together with Tom) What are you gonna do?
Lynette: Well... I got Penny's keys to his apartment, and...
Renee: (interrupting) Oh, I get it. He gets home, you meet him at the door, wearing nothing but whipped cream and a smile.
Lynette: No. (grabs a bottle) I'm gonna put a bottle of scotch on his nightstand, that is our anniversary thing, he sends me flowers, I give him
scotch.
Renee: Oh, now I get it. You get him all liquored up, and then you undress him...
Lynette: (interrupting) No, Renee, no sex.
Renee: Okay, I don't get it!

Carlos: Daytime TV sucks. Just a bunch of women sitting around, talking about menopause and things they don't eat anymore.
Gabrielle: You did record that, right?
Carlos: (rolls his eyes) Yes...

Andre: (to Susan, about Felix) He can be a touch theatrical, I wouldn't take his praise too seriously.
Felix: (interrupting) Oh, I would. I think this time I may have landed on a little too thin. I have not been this excited since I discovered Andre doing caricatures at the pier.
Andre: They weren't caricatures, they were images of the "American grotesque".
Felix: (laughs) And if you bought two, you got a free churro. (to Susan) I am not surprised he didn't tell me about you. I'm sure he saw you in his rearview mirror gunning on it, and it scared him to death.
Susan: (sarcastically) Why would a professional like Andre be threatened by... oh, what did you call me? A silly, bored housewife, unburdened by talent.
Felix: You... are a housewife? (Susan nods affirmatively; he laughs) I love it! You're like a, a sexy suburban Georgia O'Keeffe. Without all the pesky vaginas...

Gabrielle: I know Frank Sweeney. He grabbed my ass at the Christmas party. Actually, a lot of guys did, that was a good party.
Marilyn: Yes, it was. (grins)

Gabrielle: (to Bree) Never think you've lost me as a friend, 'cause... you're my rock.