Desperate Housewives

Season 3 Episode 6

Sweetheart, I Have to Confess

Aired Sunday 9:00 PM Oct 29, 2006 on ABC
out of 10
User Rating
386 votes

By Users

Episode Summary

Carolyn Bigsby (guest star Laurie Metcalf) apologizes to Bree and Orson. Gabrielle suspects Carlos is trying to trick her. Susan professes her love for Ian. Lynette learns that Tom bought a restaurant, and Nora (guest star Kiersten Warren) makes her move.

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  • Nora, you're dead!

    Damn, I was scared for Nora. Lynette looked like she was gonna kill her in front of kayla! All you hear is "If you ever associcate with my husband again, I will do to your spin what I did to your door!" I think that Lynette went a bit over the top but then again, Nora shouldn't have tried to seduce Tom. And if I was Susan I would have sent Edie out of the window when I saw her screwing the guy in hospital (don't know his name!)! it was so jokes. And Gabrielle was deep when she pushed Carlos out of the window. Nah man, she's wrong. How could she want to marry him to get money outta him when she already owns everything he has?moreless
  • Susan professes her love for Ian. Gabrielle and Carlos try to rekindle their love. Bree is confronted with Orson's past. Nora and Lynette go to war.

    Great episode! Desperate Housewives keeps getting better and better this season! Susan gets drunk and gets over Mike and likes Ian even though she was drunken she said it was here saying it. Nora is turing into a little b***h! Lynette sure scared Nora when she threaten her. That was so funny! Kayla before was like freaked out and couldn't move! Gabrielle is so funny! She pushes Carlos out the window and then calls someone and looks down and he is gone! He looked pretty preeved off and glass on him! Carlos is awesome! Mike and Edie make out and then Susan comes in! Bree learns about Orson.moreless
  • Do Not Mess With Me Written by Dahvi Waller And Josh Senter Directed by David Grossman

    We’ve had episodes in the past where the term “confession is good for the soul” has been thrown at us with absolutely no degree of subtlety. This episode works magnificently no less because there’s no short supplies of victories for certain people.

    The first two people who reap victory are Lynette and Tom who spend the first half of the episode arguing so that the U-Turn at the end is a really touching moment when both parties finally appear to be on the same wavelength.

    However we have a while and plenty of stuff to plough through before that became a reality because as I pointed out before, Tom and Lynette did spend most of the episode on opposite sides.

    When Tom showed Lynette the place he signed a lease to open up his own pizza parlour, Lynette was in no way shy of expressing her contempt for Tom’s latest plan and while the place needed work, you can’t help but wonder if Lynette was too dismissive for the sake of being dismissive.

    Okay rats in the place is not something consumers want to see when being served their pizzas but even Tom isn’t stupid enough to deal with that little problem is he? Also the place was severely dusty which is something a good clean can tackle and Tom showed his ability to get down on his knees and scrub so his work ethic isn’t too questionable either.

    Lynette had at least one point – Tom should’ve consulted her before actually signing a lease regardless of her reaction upon inspecting the place. It isn’t just his money that he’s putting at risk, its Lynette’s also and she has a right to be annoyed over not being consulted. Even Tom had to understand where she was coming from with that one.

    There’s a wonderful scene with a mad Lynette telling the boys (while Kayla drops info to Nora) that Tom will learning a new word when he gets home but there’s an even better scene with herself, Gabrielle and Susan as they get wasted on booze and she admits that a part of her is only happy if Tom’s desires meet her satisfaction. It’s not the nicest thing to come out with but it’s honest and Lynette acknowledges the fact that she can’t or shouldn’t control Tom’s every action but at least its part of the process for the two of them to make it up and that they do pretty well.

    The other part then comes with Nora’s feeble attempts of trying her case with Tom by playing on his vulnerabilities and feeding him false confidence in order for her to kiss him. Tom isn’t thrilled and uses Nora’s actions as an incentive for him to make up with Lynette and goes even better by telling him what Nora tried to do as well.

    Since the moment Nora has arrived on Wisteria Lane, Lynette has been waiting for a reason to smack her down and short of ripping off a scene between The Bride and Vernita Green in Kill Bill Volume 1, Lynette breaks down Nora’s front door and tells her out of a curious Kayla’s earshot that she would have no problem doing the same to her spine if she tries stirring things between her and Tom again. Both Felicity Huffman and Kiersten Warren play that scene so delightfully, I’m amazed that Lynette didn’t pulverize Nora right there.

    Nora isn’t the only person worth pulverizing on the series as nutty Carolyn is forced by her husband Harvey into apologising to Bree and Orson over accusing the latter of killing Alma and while Bree pretends to accept her apology, on the outside she is still seething with the meddlesome shrew and the fact that Tish is snubbing Bree due to Carolyn’s rumour spreading forces Bree to get her own back on her former friend by booking a table with herself, Orson, Carolyn and Harvey. It certainly put the pretty vapid Tish in her place so point one to Bree.

    Now as for Carolyn – was she being sincere when apologising earlier on to Bree and Orson? Hell no and I bet there wasn’t a single member who bought her lame apology either. In fact Carolyn hauls Bree into the ladies and shows her pictures of a battered Alma and tells her Orson did it. She’s also quick to point out that she’s not a nut and is doing this for Bree’s own protection. While the pictures incriminate Orson, I still think Carolyn is nothing more than a malicious **** If Carolyn did care, then why does she sound so smug in her pursuit to separate Bree and Orson?

    Just as interesting as battered photos of Alma is the friendship between Harvey and Orson. The former obviously doesn’t exhibit the same views as his nut of a wife in regards to Orson and even is quick to point how difficult Alma’s disappearance must have been for him. This is after Harvey then tells his golf buddy that he was screwing around with an air stewardess named Monique and yes, she’s the same Monique connected to Orson and Mike.

    In fact the police are pretty determined that Mike is responsible for the killing the mysterious lady and are openly hostile when Mike protests his innocence and has Edie point out that beyond 2004, Mike’s memory is sketchy. In fact the dick of a detective uses Mike’s killing of a cop years back to bait him.

    When Edie shows up to wear something rather revealing at the end of the episode in her own way of getting him better, Mike begins to remember bits about the mystery Monique which means just like Harvey and very likely Orson, Mike was involved with Monique. This girl is becoming a hell of a lot more interesting than Alma. Maybe Carolyn should focus on her instead.

    If Monique’s death was a recent event, then it’s very likely that the reason why Orson ran Mike over and left him for dead was because he falsely assumed that Mike had been responsible for Monique’s death and he wanted payback. I’m also assuming that Orson no longer thinks Mike is responsible as he’s quick to anominously call the police and drop Harvey in it over his affair with the air stewardess.

    When Mike’s not involved in another season long mystery, he’s at least getting some action in the bedroom from Edie after she does the right thing and confesses to him, the real extent of their relationship. Is Mike just using Edie for sex because things being the way they are with Susan? Possibly but Edie is certainly enjoying herself in a guilt free manner that last week she didn’t have and having Susan walk in on her and Mike at it must have done wonders for her confidence to no end.

    Once again Susan’s love life is the big focus and while this season hasn’t had the embarrassing tedium of last season with plots for Miss Mayer, you do wonder if and when the writers will think outside the box for the woman because focusing on her love life is pretty limiting.

    This week Susan tried to avoid Ian and thanks to Karen McClusky was forced into talking to him as he asked her to meet an editor friend of his. After the whole debacle with seeing Mike and Edie having a good time, Susan got roped into drinking her misery away and began to weight her options of who would better for her – Mike or Ian?

    On one side, Mike has been the guy she’s been after since the day arrived on Wisteria Lane and ultimately the guy as an audience we’re supposed to believe she will end up with in the long run and she really does love him and pre-amnesia, Mike felt the same way about her.

    Then there’s Ian, who for the most part could be described as a British male version of Susan anyway. He’s on a same intellect level with her and is as emotionally immature to boot. To his credit, he also cares deeply for Susan as does she for him and has been a shoulder for her to lean over the last couple of months. Plus Teri Hatcher does have wonderful chemistry with Dougray Scott that slightly overshadows the chemistry she has with James Denton.

    In the end Susan picks Ian and this is after she gets wasted with Lynette and Gabby, crashes Ian’s party and as per usual does something she regrets. For the time I don’t mind this coupling and I have to admit that I am starting to warm to Ian more than a few weeks ago but there’s an element of contrivance in the way this relationship is being presented and for it to be better the writing needs to feel a lot more organic and a lot less rushed.

    Another thing that I am really warming to no end is Carlos being every bit as underhanded as that wife he can’t (and really doesn’t want to) shake off and this week he manages to excel himself in shafting Gabrielle by allowing her to have everything.

    This manages to raise Gabrielle and when Carlos receives a mystery package, the conniving wife soon discovers that he’s up for a job worth $2,000,000 and decides that half of that money is rightfully her. Short of identity theft, Gabby comes up with the nifty idea of stalling the divorce and seducing her lovelorn hubby to get what she feels belongs to her. Of course, the fact that Gabby was getting stuff that she didn’t own was bad enough.

    Anyways it’s not long before she uses her feminine wiles to get Carlos in the sack but it seems than in the course of three years, Carlos has developed some form of self-awareness and Gabby is disgusted to learn that the papers were fake, there is no job and Carlos did so that Gabby would sleep with him and he could hurt her in the same way she’s been doing to him for months.

    It’s only fair after and Carlos isn’t the only who delights in the look that Gabby shows when she realises that she’s been played. Gabby can certainly lie and manipulate but like anyone she doesn’t like it when it’s done to her and pushing Carlos out the window only proves that point. It seems that despite confessing to her friends about still loving Carlos, Gabrielle clearly loves herself all the more and this war between the pair is just about to get more unpleasant.

    Also in “Sweetheart, I Have To Confess”

    Housewife of the week: Edie bragging to her local priest about her list of conquests which included the cable guy, a folk singing duo, Rabbi Lipman and now Mike Delfino. Did anyone else think the priest was more jealous than appalled?

    Bree (to Orson, re Carolyn): “Thank you darling but if you think that I am going to break bread with that malicious, pill popping shrew, you’re out of your mind”.

    This episode saw Ian in his publisher element and given that Susan has been blacklisted, maybe she should use some of his connections.

    Tom (re pizza place): “It’s a fixer upper”

    Lynette: “It’s a burner downer”.

    Carlos: “You’re gonna wash my shorts?”

    Gabrielle: “I don’t want to but if you wear them one more time, they’ll ask me to wash themselves”

    So was Bree playing with her friend Rebecca? Maybe her and Rex did take lessons after all.

    Tom: “I love my wife”

    Nora: “Really? The one that thinks you’re a loser?”

    Gabrielle: “I still love Carlos”

    Lynette: “Yeah, he’s hot”.

    I loved that scene with the girls getting pissed even if it was without Bree. Susan stealing Ida’s cab was funny also.

    Tish: “Nice to see you”

    Bree: “Nice to be seen”.

    Monique: We learned that her surname was Polier and that she was an air stewardess. Now how, when and where Mike, Orson and Harvey would be interesting to find out.

    Lynette (to Nora): “You will never see my husband again. If you try to I will do to your spine what I did to your front door. Nod if you understand”.

    Ian: “Then you said you wanted to dress me up as a naughty schoolboy and spank me – Susan or booze?”

    Susan: “I didn’t say that”.

    No Andrew, Danielle, Julie or Austin this week.

    Gabrielle: “You are a bastard”

    Carlos: “Better a bastard than a whore”.

    Chronology: None was directly specified this week.

    “Sweetheart, I Have To Confess” may be about confession and setting the truth free but when it comes to both Alma and Monique, I’m not entirely sure what I should or shouldn’t believe. On the plus side, finding fault with this season is becoming an increasingly difficult task.moreless
  • Susan Professes her love for Ian. Gabrielle and Carlos try to rekindle their love. Bree is confronted with Orson's past. Nora and Lynette go to war.

    This is my review for the episode sweetheart I have to confess. SUSAN she walked in on Edie and Mike doing it in his hospital room. Then she realized that she was still in love with Ian. GABRIELLE she snopped around and found these papers telling Carlos about his new job offering 2 million dollars. Later her divorice lawyer tells her that she won't get half of the money if Carlos signs the contract after their legally divoriced. So she sleeps with him and he tells her that he mailed the papers to himself to see if she would try and take his money. She pushes him through the window. He comes back inside and he says oh it's on.

    LYNETTE Her and Tom get into a big fight over his new pizza parlor that he signed a lease on without telling her first. So he says he wants to sleep at the pizza place tonight.Kayla over hears Lynette telling he boys about why daddy's not coming home tonight. Kayla calls Nora and tells he that. Nora goes to Tom's pizza parlor with food and two bottles of wine. After he's a little tipsy she kisses him and he gets upset saying how much he loves his wife. Tom tells Lynette what Nora did and she kicks down her door ready to attack her until Kayla comes in. Instead she whispers in Nora's ear that her relationship with Tom is over and she will never see him again.

    EDIE Her and Mike are starting to get intimate and serious.

    Bree Carolyn shows her pictures of Alma(after she had benn brutally beaten by Orson.)Making her unsure about Orson.moreless
  • Gloves are Off

    Lynette-WOW! "DING DONG" lol let me start by saying YES WOMAN, finally she grew a backbone. i love how she kicked in Nora's door...who knew she had that kind of strength. i believe i would pay real money to see her actually do that to Nora's spine. that's what the serpent succubent gets for trying to slither her way into tom's heart. good for you Lynette.

    Susan, Mike and Edie-so we see that susan wound up back in Ian's arms. whether she was a little forced by being hurt, or went all on her own free will is still up for debate. honestly i think it's a little of both. we learn that mike remembers the girl in the photo...yet another person who has died. i'm starting to wonder if maybe mike used to be a hitman. lol. by the way, i can't wait to see the look on edie's face when mike finds out she's been lying to him, though i did feel sort of bad for her when she was explaining how she felt mike barely knew she existed before.

    Bree-after the former Roseanne star reveals disturbing pictures and police reports about her friend that is suspected of being killed by her former husband Orison, bree appears to be having second thoughts. i think she seriously might believe she should have definately not rushed into this marraige, or even carried on with it at all. we didn't see Danielle and Andrew this episode. i wonder who the woman is that mike remembers, and what Orison's connection was with her (besides the fact that his friend hand an affair with her.)

    Gabby-after trying to seduce her husband back because she believed he had a two million dollar job coming his way, gabby's plan backfires. though we know she really does want carlos back, obviously he doesn't know it yet. after gabby (fantastically and hilariously)pushes carlos out the window, (calling his name sweetly..."carlos...honey?" love that touch by the way)he staggars back inside sliced up and angry, stating "oh yeah, it's on". i feel sympathy for gabby now lol.

    Zack and Paul-still no sight of them, but Susan's remark about paul was very funny. "too bad paul young's still not around, he'd know what to do" lol that was classic.

    Julie and Austin-nothing going on with them this episode.moreless
Laurie Metcalf

Laurie Metcalf

Carolyn Bigsby

Guest Star

Brian Kerwin

Brian Kerwin

Harvey Bigsby

Guest Star

Brenda Julian

Brenda Julian

Rebecca Groves

Guest Star

Pat Crawford Brown

Pat Crawford Brown

Ida Greenberg

Recurring Role

Ernie Hudson

Ernie Hudson

Detective Ridley

Recurring Role

Jill Brennan

Jill Brennan

Tish Atherton

Recurring Role

Trivia, Notes, Quotes and Allusions


  • TRIVIA (4)

    • The bathroom at the restaurant where Carolyn talks to Bree is the same bathroom from 2.15 where Susan and Edie talk on their Valentines dates.

    • In this episode we learn that Edie is a baptized and practicing Roman Catholic, as evidenced by her repeated trips to the confessional. This would also indicate that the late Mrs. Huber was Catholic as well. During the first season she and Edie discussed church activities.

    • Laurie Metcalf (Carolyn Bigsby) and Brian Kerwin (Harvey Bigsby) also starred together in the show "Roseanne" as a couple.

    • Flub: During the scene with Tom Scavo and Nora Huntington in the pizza parlor, a wine bottle and a glass are knocked over in an argument. When they pan back to the table as Nora is leaving, the full bottle and the glass are back on the table.

  • QUOTES (13)

    • Mary Alice: (narrating) It is often said that confession is good for the soul. No one knew this better than a certain blonde who had been confessing her sins to Father O'Malley once a week since she was a child. As the years had passed, much to Father O'Malley's dismay, a theme began to emerge...
      (Flashback: Edie is in the confessional.)
      Edie: I seduced the cable guy again.
      (Flashback: Edie is in the confessional.)
      Edie: I'm having an affair with a folk singing duo.
      (Flashback: Edie is in the confessional.)
      Edie: Last week I let Rabbi Lipman get to third base.
      Mary Alice: And once she had been forgiven, Father O'Malley would tell Edie Britt to go out into the world and sin no more. Unfortunately for Edie, temptation seemed to be...
      (Present: Edie walks into Mike's hospital room.)
      Edie: Hello there.
      Mary Alice: ...everywhere.

    • Tom: Okay, now when I say open, don't look with your eyes. Look with your imagination.
      Lynette: Okay.
      Tom: Okay. Open.
      Lynette: Oh dear god.
      Tom: Damn it, you looked with your eyes!

    • Carlos: You wanna wash my shorts?
      Gabrielle: I don't want to, but if you wear them one more time, they're gonna ask me themselves.

    • Mary Alice: There is a place in St. Timothy's church
      where sinners go to confess their sins. And once they're done,they expect absolution. But the truth is, not all confessions are worthy of such forgiveness. Most who unveil hidden agendas deserve the condemnation they receive. Most who disclose vengeful motives merit the punishment that follows. Only the truly repentant have any right
      at all to expect a second chance... Which is why it's best to think twice before you confess... Especially if you don't know what it is you're confessing to.

    • Susan: (drunk) Oh my god! I just thought of something. I'm never gonna celebrate a 53rd wedding anniversary. I'd have to live into my nineties. Oh My God! I'm gonna die!

    • Mike: Edie, what were we like together, before the accident?
      Edie: What do you mean?
      Mike: You know, were we close?
      Edie: Honestly? We lived about fifty feet from each other, and you barely knew that I existed.
      Mike: Seriously?
      Edie: Mm-hmm. It's true. I mean, you weren't rude or anything. We'd wave or exchange hellos as we went to get our mail, but you never really looked at me. Not really. I, I was just another neighbor to you.
      Mike: But if we weren't friends, then why are you here every day helping me?
      Edie: Because from the first moment I laid eyes on you, I sort of fell in love with you.
      Mike: Oh.
      Edie: Yeah. And I'm not telling you this because I expect anything, so you can just relax, OK?
      Mike: OK.
      Edie: But when you do come back home, and we do run into each other when we're getting our mail, I'd really appreciate it if you'd just look at me. That's all.
      Mike: I'm looking at you now.
      (He pulls her toward him and they begin to kiss.)

    • Susan: Ah! That's nice! So, where were we?
      Lynette: You were trying to figure out how to kill Edie without doing time.
      Susan: Oh, I wish Paul Young was still around. He'd know what to do.

    • (Gabrielle, Lynette and Susan are drinking.)
      Gabrielle: I'm just gonna say it. Tequila... makes me happy!
      (Elderly couple walks by)
      Gabrielle: Yeah, were drinking on the porch! You got a problem with that?
      Lynette: I know them, they live on Cypress. They've just celebrated their 53rd wedding anniversary.
      Susan: Show-offs!

    • Tom: You said you'd support me.
      Lynette: My mistake. I assumed you'd have a dream worth supporting.

    • (As the cab pulls up)
      Lynette: Look Susan, God called you a cab...

    • (After kicking Nora's front door down)
      Lynette: Ding dong!

    • Gabrielle: Can I tell you guys something? Something I can only tell you guys?
      Susan: Oh god, here she goes again! What grade is he in?

    • Lynette: I'm a bitch.. with a capital C.

  • NOTES (2)

    • International Episode Titles:
      Czech Republic: Miláčku, musím se ti přiznat... (Sweetheart, I Have to Confess...)
      Slovakia: Priznania (Confession)

    • Although credited, Andrea Bowen (Julie Mayer), Shawn Pyfrom (Andrew Van De Kamp), Joy Lauren (Danielle Van De Kamp) and Josh Henderson (Austin McCann) do not appear in this episode.


    • Episode Title: Sweetheart, I Have to Confess.

      The title is a line from the song "Could I Leave You?" from the 1971 Stephen Sondheim musical Follies.