Desperate Housewives

Bree: For god sakes, it was an honest mistake. I thought I could have just a little bit of wine with dinner, but, apparently, my body couldn't handle it. Fine! If it makes everybody happy, I will just suffer through my sneezing fits and my hives on my own. There. Is that better? Andrew: So basically you would rather drink than to not have allergies?

Mary Alice: Susan Mayer had always believed the punishment should fit the crime. She first came to this conclusion when she discovered her husband Karl had been unfaithful. Since Karl had destroyed the love she had given him, Susan felt it was only appropriate she destroy the things he loved in return one by one. But now, three years after their divorce, Susan was reunited with Karl once again as partners in a crime of their own. Yes, Susan Mayer believed the punishment should fit the crime. But for that matter, so did Karl.

Gabrielle: Don't be so suicidal, we can always adopt. Carlos: I wanted to have a child of our own, you know that. Gabrielle: What does it matter whose DNA it is, the diapers are still going to smell the same regardless.

Lucia: I left Charles. Gabrielle: What? He was worth like six million dollars! Lucia: Money is not everything, Gabrielle. Gabrielle: For some people, but we're talking about you now, Mother.

Bree: Tony, how many more arias is he going to sing? Tony: Five. Bree: Well, in that case, why don't you bring me another bottle of the Pinot Grigio? (pauses as waiter hits a particularly sour note) And please hurry...

Carlos: There was a lot of stuff that Gabby went through when she was younger. A lot of stuff that you don't know about. And I think that if you went to her and asked her about it, then the two of you could finally get passed it. Lucia: What stuff are you talking about, Carlos? Carlos (deep breath): Your second husband Alejandro. When Gabby was 15 he assaulted her; sexually. Lucia: Is that what she told you? Carlos: Look, I know it comes as a shock for you to be hearing it from me. Lucia:Carlos, please, I am aware they had sex. But it was Gabrielle who seduced him.
Carlos: Excuse me? Lucia: She was always jealous of me. You don't know how many times I caught her wearing my shoes, trying on my jewelery. And I'd scream at her to leave my things alone, but no, she wanted whatever I had. Then one night she set her sights on Alejandro. Believe me, no one got raped. Carlos: Lucia, she was only 15! Lucia: You know, a lot of men have left me over the years, and I never knew the reason, but when Alejandro left, I knew exactly why it happened. Gabrielle made him fall in love with her. Took me so many years to forgive her.

Mary Alice (narrating): Now and then, we all need a little help. (Shot of Lynette taking out a quantity of wine bottles from Bree's garbage) So we ask for small favors.(Shot of a justice filling out a marriage license) But it's always best to be wary of those who eagerly come to our rescue (The couple is Karl and Susan, who are getting married. Karl kisses his bride) Because even the smallest of favors (Shot of Tom asking Karen McCluskey to babysit the kids) carries a pricetag (Mrs. McCluskey comments on her rain gutters, and Tom looks at them in dread) Yes, everyone has an agenda (Shot of Gabrielle's mother on the phone, offering to stay with an aunt who is having an operation) Whether they admit it or not. And in those rare instances where there is no ulterior motive (Shot of Bree exiting her house) We are so taken aback that we may fail to recongnize the truth (Bree notices her porch is littered with wine bottles. One has a note inside which reads "Do you still think you don't have a problem"?) That a loving friend has just done us an enormous favor (Bree looks across the street to Lynette, who is cleaning her yard. The two ladies look at each other, and Lynette returns to her house)