Desperate Housewives

Gabrielle: There was no affair. That was the cop. Ellie caught us putting the bug in her room. That was just an excuse we used as a cover. Carlos: You expect me to believe that? Gabrielle: I have news for you Carlos. You're blind. You don't have a choice anymore. You have to believe what I tell you…I know it's not fair. I know it gives me absolute power. But tough! You're screwed! Deal with it!

Ellie: Don't you love him? Gabrielle: Of course I do. Carlos Solis is the love of my life...But, you know, sometimes you get bored and a big, greasy, disgusting handyman really hits the spot.

(After deciding to name her son Maynard after Mike's deceased grandfather, Susan turns to her son) Susan: Forgive me. Don't look at me like that. His grandfather just died.

Mary Alice: (voiceover) Lynette-it's how the French describe a pretty one. Katherine-coined by the ancient Greeks, it denotes purity. Gabrielle-a Hebrew word meaning "God is my strength." Bree-it's an Irish name that means power. Indeed, every name has a single, specific meaning which is why parents have trouble choosing one for someone who means everything to them.

Mary Alice: (voiceover) Coffee mugs to the contrary, Lynette Scavo knew that she was not the world's greatest mother. In fact, when it came to parenting, Lynette had done many things she was not proud of, like the time when she offered Parker cash if he agreed to eat all of his spinach, or when she told the twins there was treasure buried beneath the weeds, or when she gave the kids a little extra cough syrup so she could finish her novel. But, despite these lapses, Lynette didn't think of herself as the worst mother in the world either, until one horrible day. (shows scene of Child Protective Services showing up at her doorstep) Yes, Lynette Scavo was not the world's greatest mother but, in her heart, she knew she had done the best she could given what she had to work with.

Ellie: Gaby, can I talk to you? Gabrielle: About how you snitched on me to Carlos? No, thanks. I'm all caught up on that. Ellie: I'm sorry. But I know from experience what cheating can do to people. Gabrielle: Let me guess. This story ends with you throwing your boyfriend's varsity jacket in the lake? Ellie: When I was 13, my Dad caught my Mom having an affair and he walked out on us. Gabrielle: Oh. Ellie: We had nothing. And my mom went crazy, and I ended up on the street. To survive I, I had to do a bunch of stuff that I'm not proud of. Gaby: Oh, Ellie, I'm so sorry. I had no idea. Ellie: Point is, the one bad decision can mess up a lot of lives. And I just don't want that to happen to you and Carlos. 'Cause I love you guys.

Mary Alice: (narrating) What's in a name? Do the labels we attach to people tell us everything we need to know? If we say [Kayla's] just a child, does this mean she's truly innocent? Does calling [Ellie] a drug dealer prove she's purely evil? Will a man known as preacher (Reverend Green) always practice what he preaches? Can a man branded a villain (Orson) possess the qualities of a hero? The truth is, a name can never really tell you who someone is...any more than it can tell you what they're capable of.

(Commenting on shortening the name Maynard) Lynette: What says "kick my ass" less, May or Nerd?

Susan: Mike insisted that we name him after his dead grandfather. Lynette: How did he die? Was he beaten to death because his name was Maynard? Susan: I know. It's terrible but I can't change it now. Mike was so emotional about it. Bree: Well, then appeal to his sense of reason. Maynard doesn't go with the name Delfino. One is German and one is Italian and we all know what happens when those folks get together. Susan: I'm not sure that the World War II argument is going to fly. Bree: Come on, you have to do something. That name is practically abusive. Gabrielle: Yeah, think about your son. People live up to the names they're given. If my parents hadn't named me Gabrielle, who knows if I'd be this pretty? Lynette: I guess that's why they didn't name you "Einstein." Gabrielle: So sarcastic but what would you expect from a "Lynette"? (Lynette scoffs) What? If your name was Francesca, you wouldn't have time for sarcasm. You'd be too busy having sex on a vespa.

Gabrielle: Hey sweetie! Carlos: Hey whore!