Haven't Got Time For The Pain
Written by Alexandria Cunningham
Directed by David Grossman
7.0
"Good"
Tom (to Lynette): “You expect me to calm your irrational fears. I expect you to calm mine”.
Fear, sickness, addiction and the usual bout of lies and deception are the main topics under the microscope in tonight’s episode and they are delivered in quite an unusual style as too. Despite irrationality playing heavily in “We’re Gonna Be All Right”, there are quite a few pleasant moments in store too.
Like most viewers, I love the rivalries on this show – Susan vs. Edie, Lynette vs. Karen McClusky, Gabrielle vs. Sister Mary Bernard and now, judging by this episode’s sour turn of events, it looks like it’s going to be Bree vs. Betty and I, for one am intrigued by this.
Ever since a dead body popped out of their car last week, the ladies have been gunning for the Applewhites like a pack of crazed bloodhounds and ever the smart woman, Betty has tried to be super nice while Matthew urges her to sell the house and move away from the neighbourhood. Seeing as secrets aren’t easy to keep in this area, you’d think that Betty would take heed and scarper while the going was semi-good. However, switching the roles from last year, it is now Bree who is first asked by her friends and then on her own steam to use police contacts to dig up some information on the Applewhites.
This greatly re-enters Detective Barton who makes his feelings for Bree clear during a lunch which he misconstrues as a date, right after he tells her that he can’t help her in her enquiries. Aw, the poor Detective likes the repressed homemaker but sadly for him, she doesn’t feel the same way. This then leads to Bree being arrested for DUI a few minutes after leaving the restaurant.
At first I thought he was being rather petty in charging her but observing more closely and taking out his more selfish motivations, Bree did consume an awful lot of alcohol in the afternoon before she started driving and she did refuse to take a sobriety test as well. Her brief stint in the slammer wasn’t without it’s moments and they were funny too, ranging from a hooker who looks like she’s come off the set of The Sopranos asking how much she charges and a rather unhelpful copper telling her to walk home when she throw a hissy fit.
Now here’s the part where I don’t feel bad for Bree. She may be having a hard time just of late but when somebody has the courtesy of giving you a ride home and nicely points out the obvious without being judgemental, in this case the kind stranger being Betty, the least you can do is be thankful instead of launching into a rather frenzied tirade like Bree did. Not only was she well out of line to insult Betty the way she did but if you’re determined to get to the bottom of that person’s secret, it’s probably not a wise move to let them know that you’re aware of them hiding something. If it wasn’t for an apology call from Detective Barton with information on Monroe, Bree wouldn’t have an advantage on Betty, who really needs to watch her back now.
Speaking of watching out, there must be nothing more annoying than going on a blind date with a total moron as Susan discover when she accepts a dinner reservation with Jim (Ally McBeal’s Greg German) a guy so politically incorrect and socially inept, a gagging order would only be a fair infliction on him and dare I say, less painful than the head-butt he received by accident from Susan, landing him in hospital where he apparently suffered more head injuries. Like I said, just have Jim gagged every time he says something stupid or check to see if his brain cells are still functioning, either option is viable.
Ditching the bad date, Susan meets the rather cute but seemingly normal (does that jinx things?) Dr Ron and then uses her freakishly extreme methods of trying to get close to him, including feigning a few symptoms as well as subjecting herself to the usual bout of humiliation at the same time. Ron then learns she faked her illnesses to get to him and instead of running for the hills like anyone else, he decides to give her a chance, even though he admits to being mad about her irresponsibility. Oh Ron, you haven’t seen anything yet. This also should mean that Susan and Mike won’t be getting back together so quickly, but seeing as their break up this season is being handled maturely and the fact I like Jay Harrington who plays Ron, I can deal. Besides I want to see what the writers can do with Ron as well.
Men in this show can often get a bad wrap and tonight the usually loveable Tom doesn’t come off the best as he finds the domestic life unsatisfactory. It was after all, his idea to do the whole house husband routine when he told Lynette point blank in “One Wonderful Day” that she was going back to work and now we learn that he feels emasculated because he isn’t providing for his family anymore. His case also isn’t helped with him being afraid to touch the kids who are all struck with the chickenpox. As someone who has never had them either, I did sympathise but Tom was behaving rather immaturely about it too.
Then there’s also the issue of him refusing to get a vasectomy after Lynette asked him too. Here I side with Tom, Lynette may be his wife but she has no right to ask him to do that, even if they don’t plan to have anymore children. If Tom had asked Lynette to have gotten snipped, there would be such an out roar of complaints from viewers, so why should it okay for Lynette to ask Tom to do the same?
Meanwhile the past comes back to haunt eternal sinner Gabrielle, when her pervy gardener Ralph shows her some nudey photographs of herself that he downloaded on the internet before asking if she can sign them too. The cheeky little so and so obviously fancies his materialistic employer and although she repulsed by him, I think there was a part of her that was flattered as well. Although not flattered to bully Carlos into getting her ex-boyfriend Scott to remove the photographs from his website.
I had to hand it to Carlos in this episode as he made several attempts not to be manipulated by his wife and to control his rage but this episode only proves that there’s in Sister Mary Bernard’s words and that Gabby ultimately brings out the worst in her husband. Then again, ex-boyfriend Scott was such a spineless idiot that for once, Carlos’ random act of violence was slightly justified.
The best plot of the episode I reserved for last as another connection is made between Zach and Mike as the latter visits a dying Noah and lies about what really happened with Deirdre. I don’t know why - Mary Alice is dead, so there’s no need to kill anybody and Paul could get his just desserts but that’s just me thinking out loud. Anyways Noah reacts to the information badly and fires his carer, even though viewers are given the impression that we know that Noah is aware that Mike is lying anyway. The carer is then replaced by Felicia in a surprise end to proceedings. So, who’s willing to bet that Felicia may create more damage than good, then?
Also in “We’re Gonna Be All Right”
Housewife of the week: Jim makes a bad impression on Susan with jokes about her age, Chinese people, risqué talk and comparing her to a Nazi.
Susan (to Ron): “It was an accident”
Jim: “In some cultures, it’s a mating ritual”.
The connection between Zach and Mike is that they are AB negative. Zach is also starting to get more vocally suspicious of Mike too.
Edie (re Applewhites): “I don’t trust friendly people”
Lynette: “They don’t trust you either”.
Betty mentions Susan’s birthday, will we be seeing that next week? I also think that Jim’s age related jokes made Susan wary about Ron. There’s at least six or seven years apart and they’re both adults, so what’s really the big deal?
Susan (to Julie): “Dr Ron I think you’re hot, thanks and let’s talk about your hip replacement”.
Mike (re Deirdre’s murder): “I thought learning that would make you happy”
Noah: “I thought that it would too but it doesn’t”.
This episode was loaded with a few casualties – Jim being head butted, the twins and Parker with chickenpox, Susan’s MRI scan showing that she has a wandering spleen, Ralph cutting off Luis’ finger and Scott going through a window.
Detective Barton (to Bree): “When do I get to have lunch with a beautiful lady?”
Ron (re Susan): “How long are you going to let this go on?”
Assistant: “Just a few minutes”.
The full opening titles are back. Are they back for good though?
Escort (to Bree): “What exactly do you have to do for $5,000?”
Betty: “I won’t say a word, I swear”
Bree: “That’s good because most people in this neighbourhood can’t keep a secret to save their lives”.
This week we had Andrew, Danielle, Caleb, Paul and Karl missing from proceedings.
Carlos: “If you really love me, you wouldn’t ask me to go in there”
Gabrielle: “If you really loved me, I wouldn’t have to ask”.
Susan: “I love sushi. I’m available tomorrow night”
Ron: “No, no, no, tomorrow’s no good, I’ll still be angry. I should be cooled down by Friday”.
How come we aren’t getting any specifics into how much time has passed with each episode?
Phew, this was eventful but only during the very end though. “We’re Gonna Be All Right” is a painfully obvious misleading title because judging by certain plots, things are looking set to get worse, at least for Bree, whose alcoholism is getting more apparent and Betty who’s secret in becoming harder to avoid. It’s also nice to see that the writers haven’t forgotten about the not quite resolved Deirdre angle from last year.