Dexter

(To Camilla, on her deathbed) Dexter: I want you to know that you were right about my brother. But there's something else, I killed him. Camilla: It's good you did.

Dexter: Blood at the scene belonged to Albert Chung. DNA matched his sample in our database. Odds are 170 million to one that it's anyone but Albert Chung. Ellen: It won't hold up. Dexter: You do know what odds are? Ellen: The jury won't. Not when I get done discrediting you and your chain of custody. I think we all know how easy it is to plant evidence and, well... You look the type. Dexter: (voice over) Do I see sheets of plastic in your future?

Dexter: Hey, Deb. Deb: What? Dexter: Are you gonna bring a date to the wedding? Deb: I don't know, Dex. I might be too busy picking up pieces of Anton's skin to even be there. Dexter: So you're a "maybe"?

Masuka: I never bring dates to a wedding. The best man always hooks up with the maid of honor. Dexter: The maid of honor's Rita's daughter; she's 10.

Dexter: Where can I get a good key lime pie? Deb: You can't, they all taste like sour dog shit.