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Showtime (ended 2013)

Best Dexter quotes

  • Avatar of cynderbuster

    cynderbuster

    [21]Nov 29, 2007
    • member since: 10/20/06
    • level: 6
    • rank: Small Wonder
    • posts: 213

    Rita: "Oh dexter, how's Deborah?"

    Dexter: "Well, she has all her limbs."

    Rita:"Imagine falling for a serial killer."

    Dexter:"Yeah, what are the odds?"

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  • Avatar of phatjagz14

    phatjagz14

    [22]Nov 29, 2007
    • member since: 06/10/04
    • level: 8
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    "I don't blame my foster parents for that. Harry and Doris Morgan did a wonderful job raising me. But, they're both dead now. No, I didn't kill them. Honest."
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  • Avatar of Yabani

    Yabani

    [23]Nov 30, 2007
    • member since: 11/27/07
    • level: 1
    • rank: Weatherman
    • posts: 5

    Deborah on Lila: "I'm sorry Dex but she is gross. And pale. And nobody's pale in Miami. She is obviously a vampire. A gross english ti**y vampire."

    Dexter: "You just described the perfect woman."

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  • Avatar of STaRScREAMMM

    STaRScREAMMM

    [24]Nov 30, 2007
    • member since: 11/28/06
    • level: 3
    • rank: Soup Nazi
    • posts: 5

    LaGuerta: [something about having backup]

    Doakes: yeh I got all kinds of backup, helicopters and sht

    ----

    Doakes: I can stand here all fking day, i don't give a fck

    doakes is funny

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  • Avatar of alibroon

    alibroon

    [25]Dec 2, 2007
    • member since: 12/02/07
    • level: 1
    • rank: Weatherman
    • posts: 5
    Dexter: (Voice over): If I had a heart, it would probably be breaking right now.
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  • Avatar of oreopicture

    oreopicture

    [26]Dec 3, 2007
    • member since: 09/17/07
    • level: 2
    • rank: Sweat Hog
    • posts: 42

    "I can't kill Meridian yet. I need another session with him."

    Had me LOL!

    Edited on 12/03/2007 10:14am
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  • Avatar of TBBucsMalkin71

    TBBucsMalkin71

    [27]Dec 3, 2007
    • member since: 06/29/07
    • level: 2
    • rank: Sweat Hog
    • posts: 2
    People fake a lot of human interactions, but I feel like I fake them all, and I fake them very well. That's my burden, I guess
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  • Avatar of hash1978

    hash1978

    [28]Dec 3, 2007
    • member since: 11/08/05
    • level: 9
    • rank: Door Number 2
    • posts: 168
    DEXTER (VO): Lundy's bees are buzzing. Something has agitated the hive.
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  • Avatar of Stitllams

    Stitllams

    [29]Dec 21, 2007
    • member since: 02/12/05
    • level: 6
    • rank: Small Wonder
    • posts: 277

    Deb sees handcuffs come out for Batista: "Put those away or I will shove them up your ass"

    Deb giving a desciption of Lila: "Palelike a fcking corpse"

    Edited on 12/21/2007 7:07pm
    Edited 3 total times.
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  • Avatar of mackymacaspac

    mackymacaspac

    [30]Dec 21, 2007
    • member since: 11/05/07
    • level: 78
    • rank: MythBuster
    • posts: 3,772

    Deb has the funniest and craziest lines especially when she's pissed with Lila!

    fave: "Does your d*ck dance?" in final episode.

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  • Avatar of Reuben_Y

    Reuben_Y

    [31]Dec 23, 2007
    • member since: 12/17/06
    • level: 4
    • rank: Thighmaster
    • posts: 15

    Best quote would have to be when Doakes was being help up by the drug people at the cabin. Dexter had just gone inside the taken one of them out, and the other drug dealer waiting outside with Doakes calls out for him:

    Drug Dealer: (Spanish)

    Doakes: Suck my d*ck mother******, you understand that?

    Drug Dealer: (Spanish) ESTEBAN!

    Doakes: Yeah yeah, ESTEBAN!!!

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  • Avatar of abvance

    abvance

    [32]Dec 24, 2007
    • member since: 09/01/05
    • level: 5
    • rank: Caveman Lawyer
    • posts: 96
    "Presto Manifesto!"
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  • Avatar of greyskyee

    greyskyee

    [33]Dec 25, 2007
    • member since: 12/25/07
    • level: 1
    • rank: Weatherman
    • posts: 4
    "Oh good, the voices are back."
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  • Avatar of Parvenu28

    Parvenu28

    [34]Dec 26, 2007
    • member since: 12/26/07
    • level: 2
    • rank: Sweat Hog
    • posts: 2
    "I can kill a man, dismember his body, and be home in time for Letterman. But knowing what to say when my girlfriend's feeling insecure...I'm totally lost"
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  • Avatar of kabula873

    kabula873

    [35]Dec 28, 2007
    • member since: 08/07/07
    • level: 5
    • rank: Caveman Lawyer
    • posts: 260

    episode 2 series 2

    dexter: i will not kill my sister, i will not kill my sister, i will not kill my sister,

    it just sorta made me think u no after last series were he saves her sister

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  • Avatar of LVQUEEN

    LVQUEEN

    [36]Dec 28, 2007
    • member since: 11/25/07
    • level: 3
    • rank: Soup Nazi
    • posts: 38

    d@mn it Reuben_Y you used the quote i wanted to use, i guess i took too long to post it, well i believe it actually goes like this:

    doakes: "suck my d!ck muth@ **** ya understand that sh!t?"

    freakin hilarious, loved it.

    another good one was.... when he's about to kill jimenez as he starts up the chainsaw

    dexter: "kind of fitting don't you think?"

    Edited on 12/28/2007 8:51pm
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  • Avatar of DragonMyst42

    DragonMyst42

    [37]Jan 11, 2008
    • member since: 01/12/08
    • level: 1
    • rank: Weatherman
    • posts: 5

    In "Shrink Wrap", in that conversatin Dexter has with the psychologist:

    (Psychologist asks Dexter about his hobby

    "I'm a Serial Killer."

    "I beg your pardon? You're kidding, right?"

    "Nope, I like to kill people. Phew, that feels good to get off my chest!"

    I laughed so hard at that...

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  • Avatar of hollacious

    hollacious

    [38]Jan 12, 2008
    • member since: 04/23/07
    • level: 18
    • rank: Land Shark
    • posts: 1,748
    that was a good one! made me chuckle too
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  • Avatar of mrsquinto

    mrsquinto

    [39]Jan 13, 2008
    • member since: 10/22/07
    • level: 9
    • rank: Door Number 2
    • posts: 99
    Deb: Frank?
    Lundy: Bedroom.
    Deb: What are you doing home in the middle of the day? (to herself) She asked, hoping for sex...
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  • Avatar of xDexterMorganx

    xDexterMorganx

    [40]Jan 15, 2008
    • member since: 01/14/08
    • level: 5
    • rank: Caveman Lawyer
    • posts: 78

    "My names Dexter...Boo"

    and the one in my sig

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