Showtime (ended 2013)
I have too many favorites quotes to list them all here. I'd have to write a book of quotes!
Pretty much anything Masuka says has me in stitches most of the time. But the quote that really got me hooked to the show is this one from the first episode:
Dexter: (Voice over) The problem with eating and driving, which I love to do, is not being able to employ the 10-2 hand position on the wheel. It's a matter of public safety. But there's always a sacrifice.
|Dexter in a yoga class, doing the 'warrior pose' (voice over): |
"This is absolutely, without a doubt the worst moment of my life."
Deb tends to have some pretty awesome oneliners. This is from season 2 episode 5.
Deb: Sweet Mary mother of fck that's good.
Dex: I think you might have broken a commandment somewhere in there.
Best quote would have to be when Doakes was being help up by the drug people at the cabin. Dexter had just gone inside the taken one of them out, and the other drug dealer waiting outside with Doakes calls out for him:
Drug Dealer: (Spanish)
Doakes: Suck my d*ck mother******, you understand that?
Drug Dealer: (Spanish) ESTEBAN!
Doakes: Yeah yeah, ESTEBAN!!!
I also think it's one of the bests
Another with Doakes:
Doakes: f*ck you!
Dexter: Okay. Uh, is there something I can...
Doakes: Yeah, you can get me your f*cking analysis on the blood spatter on these killings! You think I'm here to invite you to my nephew's briss?
Dexter: I didn't know you were Jewish!
Doakes: Shut the f*ck up and write your report!
Dexter when he learns that FBI will be working on the bay harbour butcher case:
The full force of the FBI, that's the last thing I need. I've got to make sure Lundy gets his man. After I figure out a way to erase the marina files. And make up with my girlfriend. And then maybe I'll tackle world hunger because things can't really get much worse.
I could quote many, Dexter at times is just hilarious
This is one of my many favorites. It was on the pilot episode where Dexter is "obliged" to tell something about himself. This part, he's talking about his family.
DEXTER (VO):Harry and Deborah did a great job on raising me...well they're both dead now...(pause) I didn't kill them (longer pause) ...honest.
In "Shrink Wrap", in that conversatin Dexter has with the psychologist:
(Psychologist asks Dexter about his hobby
"I'm a Serial Killer."
"I beg your pardon? You're kidding, right?"
"Nope, I like to kill people. Phew, that feels good to get off my chest!"
I laughed so hard at that...
Dexter (V.O): I like to pretend I'm alone. Completely alone. Maybe post apocalypse or plague.. Whatever. No-one left to act normal for. No need to hide who I really am. It would be.. freeing.
Doakes: Stop grinning like a **** psycho and get back to work!
Both from season 1, episode 7.
When the Dexter comes face to face with the fake ice truck killer.
Neil Perry: Who the f*ck are you?
Dexter smiles slowly.
When Dexter lectures Jeremy in the interview room.
Dexter: Pretend the feelings are there. For the world and the people around you. Who knows maybe one day they will be.