Dexter

Angel: (On the phone to her answering machine) Hello, Barbara? This is Sergeant Angel Batista. Angel to you. How are you? Good, I hope. So I have to cancel our dinner tonight. And I am deeply, deeply apologetic. And I hope that you will let me make it up to you in whatever possible way you wish things made up to you in.

Deb: And one thing leads to another and this hypothetical guy starts having sex with this hypothetical girl. Dexter: Hypothetical sex? Deb: Real sex, really real sex.

(Rita is irritated) Dexter: Rita, are you okay? Rita: No, I'm not okay. I'm starting a new job and I'm planning a wedding all by myself. Dexter: What can I do to help? Rita: It's not like you can pick out the DJ. Last time I got into your car, your radio was tuned to marching music. Dexter: It helps me think.

(About her pregnancy hormones) Rita: It's like I have this monster living inside of me and I don't know how to control it. Dexter: Maybe I can help you out with that one.

Dexter: (voice over) I tell Miguel to be inconspicuous and what does he do? He shows up looking like the Unabomber. I've got my work cut out for me.

Quinn: You're brother's kind of a dweeb, huh? Deb: You say anything more about my brother and I will kick your fucking nuts down your throat. Quinn: That's doesn't even make any sense.

Miguel: What channel is ESPN over here? Dexter: I think it's a big number.

Dexter: (voice over) It's said that everything is connected to everything. The butterfly effect. You drop a pebble into a pond and the ripples radiate outwards touching and effecting everything. Until finally a fish grows arms and legs and crawls out of the water...and picks up a rock and smashes the next two fish over the head...and we have the first serial killer.

Deb: The wedding band has to match the engagement ring, so what does that look like? Dexter: She said she didn't want one. Deb: Oh my god, you just get dumber every day! How do you survive in this world? Of course she wants one! Dexter: How am I supposed to know that? Deb: You are such a Y-chromosome cliché! Just buy her a beautiful, romantic, 'I love you with all of my heart' fucking engagement ring. And Dex, size matters!