And there it is! The only way season 6 could have saved face this week (which it didn't) was with a cliffhanger. And it was a cliffhanger that is going to stick with me like an obstinate rash. Debra finally met Dexter's dark passenger tonight. The problem is, the rest of the episode was so boring I almost missed it!
Having been thoroughly disappointed and pissed off after last week's episode (as were a zillion other fans), it was only an obligation for me to watch the finale. I've been watching this show loyally for five years. There's no way in hell I'm gonna let that go down the crapper! The fact that we had to endure six completely mediocre episodes after Brother Sam's demise should have earned the viewer an appropriate sendoff, right? Nope. Not according to the writers.
We all knew Dexter was going to be saved from his predicament last week. I half expected them to just cut to Dexter and Harrison having breakfast at home as if nothing happened! I guess even the writers have limits to their mediocrity. The alternative was nothing to write home about either. So...is Dexter just killing people in front of witnesses now? What the bleedin' hell was that about?? Maybe killing the gun toting Hispanic dude was just to make up for not offing anyone last week. Totally lame and hair-tearingly frustrating! You are ruining Dexter for me, guys! Seriously!!
Cut to the crime scene with the double murder and it's like an episode of CSI Miami, the kindergarten edition. The fact that Dexter almost died and nobody except Debra seemed to give a flying frak about it is beside the point. Do you seriously mean to tell me that everyone, the responding officers, the homicide detectives, even Masuka (who was nowhere to be seen), were waiting for Dexter to arrive before entering the crime scene? Apparently he was the first and only person to spot his surly mug on Travis's painting so he went ahead and did a number on it with a hammer. I'm not a cop, so grunt once if I'm wrong, but don't the police have to clear the house and do a cursory examination first? Especially one where a double murder has taken place? Nobody saw the painting?? Come on!
Could things get any more lame? Yes they could! To round things off nicely, we have Travis driving by the crime scene in slow-mo and nobody, not a single cop notices him drive by. Isn't there supposed to be a police canvas outside a crime scene? I think he even parked nearby. Let me reiterate the fact that Miami Metro Homicide is the WORST EVER.
In the meantime, Debra and Dexter were having a contest of sorts to see who had the more awkward stare. Deb's mixed feelings for her step-brother almost came to the surface this week, until they were rudely interrupted by the sight of Dex stabbing Travis in the chest with a nice meaty scrunch.
The writers completely blew off the Louis Greene storyline for this season with only one lame ass scene where Masuka basically told Louis to go screw himself after he expressed hopes of continuing to work at Miami Metro. Though God only knows why he would want to. He gave Dexter a genuinely soupy glance after the conversation. Man crush? Nah! There's got to more to it than that. Right?
On the bright side, LaGuerta was less of a bitch in this episode. Many people expressed a strong desire for her exit from the show in the most gruesome fashion. There's still next season, dudes.
Quinn continued to be a royal jackass. It should come naturally to him by now. It was good to see Batista finally grow a pair and do something about Quinn's recent dickish behavior. I completely forgot he made sergeant last season!
So that's it! The downward trend that began in season 5 continued through season 6 (with a small spike in between in the form of Brother Sam). We could bitch and moan all day about how frustrating this season was. But we still watched the whole damn thing. Didn't we?
- When Debra called Dex after the pageant was over, how did Travis pick the opportune moment to abduct Harrison? He didn't even know Dexter was still alive! Didn't he spot Dex hovering around his own kid?? Wasn't he lying in wait to kidnap Harrison when the kid would be alone? Put that in your pipe and smoke it.
- The number of hair tearing moments this season saved me twelve bucks on a haircut.
- Dexter killed Travis. Just wanted to let you know in case you missed it.
So long season 6! Don't let the door smack your holy ass on the way out!