Dharma & Greg

Dharma: So you'll do the cleansing ceremony? Greg: Not in this lifetime. Dharma: ok, but you said that last lifetime...

Larry: Give me one good reason I'd attend a wedding reception at some fascist country club run by a bunch of morally bankrupt fat-cat Republicans who care more about capital gains than starving children. Greg: Free valet parking?

Greg: Dharma, I'm going to have to ask you not to imitate my mother right before we go to bed.

Dharma: So I'm 12 years old when I find out people actually eat meat.

Dharma: I love tennis! Well, not to play...or watch. I'm just really glad it's out there.

Dharma: Oh, you know what I was thinking? We could have a big wedding parade through the streets, like they do in Europe. Jane: Cool. I know a guy who dresses up like a clown and walks around on stilts. Dharma: Really? Do you think he'd do it? Jane: I don't know. He doesn't like it when people look at him.

Dharma: We should have a party to celebrate getting married. Greg: Dharma, we can never tell anyone about this marriage, ever. Dharma: What? Greg: Wouldn't it be trippy if I was really like that?

Dharma: Greg, what do you think we would have done if we hadn't run off and gotten married? Greg: I don't know. Had a second date?

Jane: We're back. Dharma: Hey! Thanks for walking the boys. How'd it go? Jane: Well, Stinky will walk Nunzio, but he won't clean up after him. Dharma: Stinky, you wanted your own dog, but you don't want the responsibility, do you?

Dharma: Promise me something. Greg: Anything. Dharma: When we have babies, we will never tell any of those people.

Dharma: That was great. Greg: Yeah. Dharma: You know what my favorite part was? Greg: The part when you yelled "This is my favorite part"? Dharma: No, the part right after that.

Greg: We're not gonna sleep in the rain, are we? Dharma: No, silly. You don't sleep in the rain, you make love in the rain. Greg: Ah. What if there's lightning? Dharma: Then you get to be on top.

Kitty: Gregory, the day that I celebrate this misbegotten marriage is the day that I ride a goat to K-Mart.

Dharma: (to Kitty) Okay, so you don't like me yet. But one day in the future you're gonna like me, and you're gonna feel really bad about not having come to my party. So how about this? Come to my party as a favor to your future self. See, it's the kind of thing that the you you're going to be will want to have done for the me that I am now.

Kitty: It will be formal, of course. Dining, dancing, 16-piece orchestra. Dharma: Oh, y'know, with the 18-piece, you get coleslaw and a free drink.