Haus Arrest

Season 1, Episode 12, Aired

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Dharma's free spirit and maternal instincts are challenged when Greg's rebellious teenage niece Jennifer visits for the holidays and soon abuses her newfound friendship with her aunt. When Dharma discovers that Jennifer has invited a boyfriend over unannounced, she lowers the disciplinary boom and Jennifer runs away. As punishment, Dharma and Jane take her along on a wacky shopping trip pretending to be monolingual German tourists, they are upset to discover that she has used them as a cover for actual shoplifting.moreless
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      • Larry: Have a joyous holiday of your choosing, if indeed you choose to celebrate a holiday at all. Edward: And a Happy New Year, if you people believe in calendars.

      • Dharma: Greg, if they're going to have sex, don't you think it's better that they have it here? Greg: No! They should come up with a plan, sneak out, say they're spending the night at a friend's house. Dharma: Oh, they should lie. Greg: Yes. And if they get away with it, they deserve to have sex. Dharma: That is so sick. Greg: No, it's Darwinian. The brightest ones get to breed.

      • Greg: Why don't we just ground her? Dharma: See, I'd love to, but how do we do that? Greg: Easy. Just tell her she can't leave the apartment. Dharma: How will that make her more grounded?

      • Greg: Dharma, I'd like you to meet my cousin Jennifer. Dharma: Oh, hi! I'm Dharma. Jennifer: So, did you marry Greg for his money? Dharma: Oooh! Open hostility. You know, if you wanna become more sneaky at it just watch your Aunt Kitty.

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