Dharma & Greg Season 2 Episode 8

Greg: Permission to approach the bench.
Pete: For what purpose?
Greg: To kill you.
Pete: (Looks at Greg and rolls eyes) Denied.

Dharma: High School sucks.
Greg: Well you don't have to go anymore.
Dharma: Thanks.

Dharma: How did the trial go?
Greg: Well Larry's counter suing my mother for assault and battery, $1.7 billion.

Edward: Aren't you going to listen to your husband's speech?
Abby: I heard him give me the same speech last month in traffic court.
Edward: How'd it work?
Abby: The judge gave him $20 out of his own pocket just to shut up.

Greg: Mother, I'm not representing you.
Kitty: Well, you're welcome for law school.

Dharma: Do you guys like go to Bayside?
Brittany: Yeah.
Dharma: Are you going to the Homecoming dance too?
Brittany: What do you like mean too?
Jane: What do you like mean, what do you like mean?

Dharma: Oh my God I like so totally need a dress.
Jane: Oh my God I like so totally need a hot dog on a stick.
Both: Mall crawl!

Greg: Far be it for me to let our marriage get in the way of your dating.

Dharma: Oh no Greg, Saturday's no good, Donald just invited me to the big Homecoming dance.
Greg: Well I hope you said yes 'cause my life isn't weird enough.

Dharma: It's just a bruised tailbone, she'll be back on her ass in no time!

Pete: Hey, Greg, can I take your wife to my cousin's wedding?
Greg: Probably.

Dharma: This is a really cool thing to do for Donald and I just want you to know I feel very lucky to have a husband who understands.
Greg: Well, you don't, but have fun.