Dharma: I don't feel guilty about anything . . . talk to Greg, he shot a deer once.
Dharma: I lied, alright? I'm not a Republican, hippie, teamster lesbian!
Dharma: Is this a bribe? Kitty: Why, would you do it for free? Dharma: I'm sorry but if you want my help you are just going to have to be nice to me like everyone else. Kitty: Dharma! Take the check back!
Greg: What's wrong with your leg? Dharma: Oh it's nothing, just a touch of gout.
Larry: If I knew it was going to be this close, I would have registered to vote. Course then they'd know where I am. Edward: Where are you, Larry?
Greg: How many times are they going to show that clip?! Pete: Until it stops being funny!
Dharma: How come you don't get sick when you lie? Greg: I'm a lawyer.
This episode's end titles has Chuck Lorre's Vanity Card #29.
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