Dharma & Greg

Pete: Why don't we stop by a hardware store in our way home and pick up a shower and install it in your apartment? Greg: You know how to do that? Pete: I worked my way through law school as a plumber's assistant. That's why I know a lot about plumbing and very little about law.

Abby: Dharma, living this far above Mother Earth can permanently misalign your chakras... Dharma: That's true... When your chakras are messed up, you chi just goes wiiiiii.

Larry: What's wrong with a bath? Edward: Well, for one thing, he can't wash himself in the proper order. Larry: Gee, I always preferred a bath. It's very soothing, you put in a little sea salt, some oil... Edward: Add a carrot and a chicken neck and you've got soup, Larry.

Dharma: Sergeant Greg, I know our love is wrong, but I can't help myself. Kiss me on the double! Greg: Where exactly would that be, Captain?

Brian: Sorry, man. I wouldn't have asked her out if I knew she was engaged. Dharma: Oh, no. No, we weren't engaged. I just met Greg, what was it, Honey? Last Friday? Greg: Yeah, last Friday. Brian: I met you Thursday. Greg: Snooze, you lose!

Dharma: Oh! Right! I forgot to call you. Brian: Uh-huh. Dharma: I got married. Brian: M-m-married?

Dharma: Are you sure? "Dog-eat-dog world"? Greg: Absolutely. That's the expression. Dharma: Come on. It's not "a doggie dog world"? Greg: No, it's not. Dharma: Ready? Greg: Clear. Dharma: I mean, it doesn't make any sense. Have you ever even seen a dog eat another dog? Greg: Ready? Dharma: Clear. Greg: No, but it's still "a dog-eat-dog world". It means the world's a tough place, it's every man for himself, it's kill or be killed... Dharma: What do killer bees have to do with it?!?