Dharma & Greg

Dharma: I can see why you went out with her. Greg: How -- how did you know that? Dharma: Oh, Greg, women know these things. It's partly the way she looked at you, and then partly the way you bent your spoon when I asked her to join us.

Abby: (to Dharma) He thinks the government is listening to us through the V-chip. Larry: No, no. They're watching us through the V-chip. They're listening to us through the smoke detectors. Abby: I should have never let him get on the Internet.

Larry: So, Greg, it must be hard for you Federales to cover up your conspiracies now that all those secret documents are floating out there on the Internet. Greg: Who do you think puts them on the Internet, Larry? Larry: Of course. Brilliant.

Abby: What is the first thing we do to get rid of negative feelings? Dharma: I already did all that. I said, "Hello, jealousy. I embrace and acknowledge the message you are bringing me." Abby: Good. And what did jealousy say? Dharma: He just looked right at me and went pththththth!

Larry: So, Ed, how goes the exploitation of the working classes? Edward: It's actually ahead of schedule.

Abby: (searching in her voluminous bag) It's, uh -- it's in here somewhere. Kitty: I'm sure it is, along with the Holy Grail and the Lindbergh baby.

Dharma: (about Greg's ex-girlfriend) She's perfect for you. Greg: Fine. Dharma, it doesn't matter if there's somebody out there who, on paper, is perfect for me, because I love you. Dharma: Yeah, well, a dog can love a chicken. But eventually he's gonna want another dog, 'cause chickens don't chase cars, and all the love in the world won't change that.

Pete: Say, there's your wife talking to your ex-girlfriend. Greg: This can't be good. Pete: Gee, I wonder if your name's come up?

Dharma: (to Barbara) Take Pete, here. A handsome young attorney on the fast track. Say something, Pete. Pete: (to Barbara) My apartment is completely soundproofed. (Barbara makes a face at Dharma) Dharma: Okay, let's go hit on these guys over here. (She and Barbara leave) Greg: Has that line ever worked? Pete: No. But when it does, it's gonna be worth it.