In the middle of a typical in-law squabble, Dharma and Greg answer an emergency call and rush to hospital. There they find a partially immobilized Pete, who has dislocated both shoulders in a bizarre car accident. Greg is not too pleased at Dharma's offer to nurse Pete back to health, and after a traumatic visit to Pete's apartment to pick up his cat gives her far too much insight into Pete's life (or lack thereof) Dharma finds herself committed to cleansing her house guest both physically and spiritually.
Meanwhile, Kitty convinces Abby's "Save the Ducks" fund raising committee that rather than making $800 with a bake sale, they can raise $80,000 with a fancy celebrity dinner featuring "Alan Alda, or one of the Baldwin boys." Trouble is when the event gets under way, the celebrity turns out to be not exactly environmentally aware Andrew Dice Clay.
Jane becomes addicted to the one acceptable item in Pete's apartment: his vibrating, um, massage chair; and Pete's final act of chauvinism for this episode, involving beautiful twin masseuses who live above a liquor store, leaves him in a very embarrassing position indeed.moreless
Jenna Elfman |
Dharma Finkelstein Montgomery |
Thomas Gibson |
Greg Montgomery |
Susan Sullivan |
Kitty Montgomery |
Shae D'Lyn |
Jane Deaux |
Alan Rachins |
Larry Finkelstein |
Joel Murray |
Pete Cavanaugh |
Andrew Dice Clay |
Himself |
Guest Star |
Miriam Flynn |
Jasmine |
Guest Star |
Cristine Rose |
Autumn |
Guest Star |
Pete's leg is supposed to bent at an odd angle, but it's really just a fake leg. You can see his foot hanging down underneath the wheelchair.
Dharma: (entering Pete's mess of an apartment) I can't believe a person lives here.
Jane: I can't believe a cat lives here!
Abby: (discussing the charity) Do you think we could get Neil Young?
Kitty: Abby, you need a celebrity, not an astronaut.
Abby: Are you telling me that God hates ducks?
Edward: No, no, no, what I'm saying is that if he really wanted them around, they wouldn't be endangered.
Dharma: Who's in the mood for a lifestyle change?
Pete: What?
Dharma: Pete, I've seen the way you live and...I care too much about you to look the other way.
Greg: You're screwed now, buddy!
Dharma: Okay, here is how it's gonna go: I am gonna teach you how to eat right, to drink right, to get in touch with your feelings, meditate and before you know it, you're gonna be someone who is sensitive and caring, someone who'd rather watch a sunset with a friend than a dirty movie all alone. How does that sound?
Pete: Gay!
This episode's end titles has Chuck Lorre's Vanity Card #16.
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