Jane: You are so cheap!
Pete: I'm not cheap, I'm sensible.
Jane: You wash your hair with laundry detergent!
Pete: Hey, if it's good enough for my underwear, it's good enough for my hair!
Kitty: Dharma, tell me truthfully. Am I a bad person?
Dharma: No, but when you blow smoke out of your nose you're scary like a dragon.
Dharma: (Taking a guest's car keys) Aries?
Guest: That's right!
Dharma: You're driving a Taurus? It's a wonder you got here at all. (To Greg) Park it near a Saturn; it'll help balance him out.
Kitty: Gregory, what are you doing?
Greg: Uh, we're valet parking cars, Mother. It's our gift to Celia.
Kitty: For God's sake, say something Edward.
Edward: (Handing Greg the car keys) Leave the seat where it is and don't monkey with the radio.
Kitty: Please, Dharma. I try to respect your life, your values. I don't go among your friends and chop down trees and hand out meat.
This episode's end titles has Chuck Lorre's Vanity Card #18.