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Philip: Alice, why don't you go and tell Arnold the good news, that you both are gonna be in the same hospital room together?
Alice: Okay!
Kimberly: Come on, I'll take you.
Alice: Okay.
Mrs. Garrett: Boys and girls in the same room, hmm? I thought nowadays, they only did that in college.
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Arnold: Willis, you know the tooth fairy that brings you presents when you lose a tooth?
Willis: Yeah.
Arnold: You think there's an appendix fairy?
Willis: I'm sure there is. And what would you like the appendix fairy to bring you?
Arnold: Anything you can afford.
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Willis: You'll feel better when your girlfriend Alice gets here.
Arnold: Who told you?
Willis: Mr. D. He said that she looks real foxy.
Arnold: She may look real foxy, but she ain't no Diana Ross!
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Philip: I'm taking you to see the doctor, young man.
Mrs. Garrett: And I'm going to take your temperature.
Arnold: But i don't need no doctor. All I need is a week off of school and an unlimited supply of cookies.
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Philip: (at the doctor's office) There's nothing to be afraid of.
Arnold: Tell that to my knees, and maybe they'll stop shaking.
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Philip: Tell me. Is this where you get the pains?
Arnold: Eh, I guess.
Philip: How often do you get these pains?
Arnold: Not often. Only when it hurts.