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Philip: Is the boys' room ready?
Mrs. Garrett: Yeah, there's just one thing left to do.
Philip: What's that?
Mrs. Garrett: I quit!
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Philip: I'm sorry, Mrs. Garrett. I didn't mean to startle you.
Mrs. Garrett: Oh Mr. Drummond, it's very dangerous to sneak up behind me. I'm going to karate class, and I just got an 'A' in "kicking where it hurts."
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Mrs. Garrett: You need to have some family fun with the boys.
Philip: The only fun my family had was counting our money. I couldn't have fun until I was old enough to count.
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Philip: If I was to tell you that Arnold and Willis turned down a chance to go to the circus and to a Knicks/Lakers basketball game, what would you say?
Mrs. Garrett: I'd say that I'm available for both events.
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Arnold: Why do we have to go back to Harlem?
Willis: Because I miss Harlem?
Arnold: And I wanna miss Harlem for the rest of my life.
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Willis: Nobody speaks for me but me.
Arnold: And when he speaks, nobody listens.
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Philip: It was just a little joke.
Mrs. Garrett: When they're that little, they need a lot of love.
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Arnold: It's nice to be livin' so high up, you can't smell the garbage.
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Philip: Sorry, boys, I just made a faux pas.
Arnold: You did what for your pa?
Philip: No Arnold, that's French for "I blew it!"
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Willis: Not one word from you, Arnold!
Arnold: Does this count as a "word?" (gives Willis a raspberry)
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Philip: This is a hot tub.
Willis: You stole a tub?
Arnold: If we help you fence it, we get half.
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Philip: That chair you're sitting in is 200 years old.
Willis: With all your money couldn't you afford to buy a new one?
Philip: Hah! No, It an antique, you see, the older it gets the more its worth.
Arnold: Willis, we were sitting on a fortune in Harlem and we never knew it!
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Philip: I've never seen a black goldfish before.
Arnold: That's ok. He never saw a rich white man before either.
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Arnold: Hi, Metal Mouth.
Kimberly: Isn't this delicious. We've just met and they're already treating me like a real brother! By the way, Guys, stay out of my room or I'll punch you out.