Diff'rent Strokes

Arnold: (on failing the Digby entrance exam) It must have been all those trick questions Philip: What kind of questions? Arnold: The kind that need answers. I mean special answers.

Philip: (doing the Digby cheer) Digby, Digby, Digby! (jumps) Philip: I think I hurt myself. Mrs. Garrett: They should change the name from "Digby, Digby Digby!" to "Hernia, Hernia, Hernia!"

Willis: (on his Digby uniform) If I went to school like this in Harlem, I'd get mugged by the principal.

Arnold: The only thing I like about school is lunch, recess and summer vacation.

Philip: They gave you questions you couldn't possibly know about. That's like asking a Chinese man to make a pizza. Arnold: That's a mean trick to play on the stomach.

Arnold: Suppose there's no water in the house, how do you take a shower? Mr. Bordinay: Well obviously you can't. Arnold: Wrong, wait till they turn on the fire hydrant and you run out in the street in your underwear.

Philip: (on the phone with Mr. Bordinay) I suggest you come over tomorrow, it's very important. You know that auditorium I'm donating? Maybe you'd like it with a roof.

Willis: They wanted to know what the lady with the blindfold and the scales represent. Philip: That represents the legal system. Willis: My answer was wrong. I said the scales meant she was in the market business, and the blindfold meant she didn't want to see the butcher rip her off. Arnold: My questions were harder. They wanted to know how many people you can get in a house with three bedrooms and a double bed in each room. Philip: And what was your answer? Arnold: Eighteen. Philip: Eighteen? Arnold: Yeah, we know people who get three in each bed, two on each floor, six on a couch, and one in the bathtub. Willis: And the one in the bathtub's going crazy from the water dripping on his head.