Philip: What have you got against kids? Landlord: Well they're noisy for one, their toys, even their cereal makes noise. Arnold: Not ours, we don't have the cereal that goes snap crackle and pop, ours just sits there and goes 'shhhh'. Landlord: That's cute. That's another thing, kids carry germs. Philip: You don't have to worry, no self respecting germ would come near you.
Landlord: Where does Cousin Arnold live? Willis: Buffalo. Arnold: The Bronx. Landlord: How does he live in Buffalo and the Bronx has the same time? Arnold: He has a skateboard.
Arnold: If that woman he was kissing wasn't his wife, then who was she? Phiiip: I guess we'll never know. Arnold: I guess she was just a common bimbo.
Landlord: You don't look 15. Arnold: I'm 15 if I'm an inch.
Mrs. Garrett: I'm allerigc to lying, it blocks my sinus. Arnold: How am I supposed to age 7 years by 2 o' clock? Mrs. Garrett: It's easy, I just aged 10 years in 2 minutes.
(Mrs. Garrett goes to answer the door.) Arnold: Don't do it, it might be the head! Mrs. Garrett: Don't worry, Arnold. If it is, I'll stick my fingers in his face and roll him away like a bowling ball.
Arnold: I saw a head and it didn't look like it had any body, and he said I can't live here! Mrs. Garrett: Arnold, a person can't have a head with no body. Willis: I'm not too sure about that, I heard the doorman saying that he's dating this girl with a nice face, but she ain't got no body.
Jack Riley had appeared previously in the season, as private investigator Miles Monroe in 'Goodbye Dolly'.
S 7 : Ep 8
Aired 11/17/84 (24:44)
S 6 : Ep 1
Aired 10/1/83 (24:54)
S 5 : Ep 23
Aired 4/30/83 (24:58)
S 5 : Ep 22
Aired 3/19/83 (24:58)
User Score: 640
User Score: 1139
User Score: 95
User Score: 54
User Score: 50
User Score: 17
User Score: 14
User Score: 14
User Score: 13
User Score: 11